Rave Radio: Offline (0/0)
Adresse électronique: Mot de passe:
Listes
2006 December:
[ ]"zizazig-ha"
[ ]How To Wake Up In The Morning And Take On The Day Like You Mean It
[ ]Sagesse pour la vie !!
[ ]Pensées
[ ]Comment Devenir Un Astronaute Autonome
[ ]“The real outside is 'at the heart' of the inside“ - An interview with Jean-Luc Nancy
[ ]L'inutile dictionnaire essentiel des trucs inutilement utilisés par Dudu et ses copains!
[ ]Jungle is Massif
[ ]Wick-it
[ ]Paroles de sages
[ ]Conseils
[ ]Perles de sagesse
[ ]Paroles
[ ]Out of the Jungle
[ ]Montreal
[ ]Assemblage 23 - I Am The Rain
[ ]Smile
[ ]Attraction
[ ]Hey
[ ]ME AND MY STRAP ON!
[ ]people
[ ]Caring
[ ]parole déja dite!!!
[ ].....2
[ ]...!
[ ]The Santa Claws-The death of majik and trust
[ ]***
[ ]Ode au cinema: version feminine versus masculine!
2006 November:
[ ]Incongru (Chill après SSF)
[ ]Correspondance
[ ]Mmm records.
[ ]Déclaration pixellisée: version feminine vs masculine!
[ ]Mes photos !!!
[ ]my name is what .. ?!
[ ]CHEERS
[ ]Astrologie chinoise
[ ]The dj's guide to being cool
[ ]L.S.D.
[ ]rave.ca
[ ]If you have to do drugs...
[ ]hivernation
[ ]xxx
[ ]HIN!
[ ]pls donate to the narfette does southamerika fund
[ ]music when the lights go out
[ ]I am my own antithesis
[ ]vivre ta vie
[ ]*roar*
[ ]controversies in subjective psychosis a.k.a: philosophy
[ ]Allegory of the Cave - Plato
[ ]I'm still alive...
2006 October:
[ ]Noirceur
[ ]Fusion
[ ]I miss you love
[ ]The truth
[ ]Goodbye my lover
[ ]Rave chat n sounds
[ ]untouched land..
[ ]Unforseen Circumstances
[ ]Awen, Oh; Inderlude of Myth
[ ]@lterna
[ ]?
[ ]Saviour
[ ]imposture.
[ ]william,shakespeare.
[ ]Elle!
[ ]Psychoactive 3
[ ]Birth is not a diverson.
[ ]Like OMFG
[ ]défaite
[ ]The e Diet.
[ ]imagining answers
2006 September:
[ ]Divinity
[ ]tryo
[ ]Nine Inch Nails - Closer
[ ]Nine Inch Nails - The Great Below
[ ]Flash
[ ]Où est passé l'imagination?
[ ]1st Entry - "The Rundown"
[ ]Shooting Star after party (story)
[ ]Raving at Aria!
[ ]It's not dead yet
[ ]Yay I dropped a course
[ ]Starting Life Over Again...
[ ]In this one I say "fuckin'" a lot
[ ]You
[ ]Support your scene
[ ]....
[ ]The Project Mayhem
[ ]la vie...
[ ]La beauté.
[ ]...
2006 August:
[ ]Zipper (We Like The Bass Chill Story)
[ ]uuh
[ ]We Like The Bass Chill Jokes
[ ]We Like The Bass Chill Quotes
[ ]The new generation
[ ]Wet Dog (Mad Caddies)
[ ]Identity Crisis (Thrice)
[ ]Impossible (Roller Starter)
[ ]Pas juste eux autres qui peuvent avoir des aventures inter-bloggeux...
[ ]BS
[ ]Journal
[ ]schizophrenia
[ ]Incongru (Shooting Star Forever Chill Story)
[ ]Shooting Star Forever
[ ]Alone
[ ]A raver's life
[ ]Pink Floyd - Time
[ ]Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall part 3
[ ]Pink Floyd - Welcome to the Machine
[ ]Pink Floyd - Dogs
[ ]Forest
[ ]**********
[ ]A word on relationships, friends, and betrayal
[ ]about me
[ ]Dernier week-end
[ ]without a word
[ ]Une journee vedge a Londres
[ ]Londres
[ ]If you don't love what you do, why don't you do what you love?
2006 July:
[ ]Oh putain!
[ ]2nd
[ ]First day in London
[ ]promotion, promotion, promotion
[ ]Vacances 2006
[ ]In the beginning
[ ]1#
[ ]What makes a good party
[ ]I am becoming an emokid!
[ ]The wonders of the internet
2006 June:
[ ]Djs
[ ]That new anti-smoking law.
[ ]What's wrong with the rave scene
[ ]a reason why
[ ]before sleep
[ ]Unissons-nous
[ ]Le temps
[ ]les mots
[ ]Désolé!
[ ]Mon nuage..
[ ]La terre est en guerre
[ ]sixty hour discourse
[ ]Revived
[ ]The Obscure Rambalings of a Dislexic, ADD Ridden, Irelin Syndrom, Paranoia Nut Case
[ ]The Land
2006 May:
[ ]eeEee
[ ]sleepless
[ ]Le Sourire
[ ]figée dans mon élan...depuis quand?
[ ]shaaaaaaa- naaaaaayyyyy
[ ]Y FA BEN KAKA DEHORS
[ ]twsited
[ ]please
[ ]Fear or Love
[ ]J'AI FINI
[ ]Me pardonneras-tu?
[ ]Trancelucent Productions - V/A The Ayahuaska Experience CD - OUT NOW!!!
[ ]Trancelucent Productions - OPPOSITE 0 HARD ENOUGH CD - OUT NOW!!!
[ ]Megan
2006 April:
[ ]Place
[ ]Wouah...
[ ]ATOC rocks!
[ ]La bonne facon de pensé..
[ ]Finals soon!
[ ]Etre authentique...
[ ]Amour...
[ ]preparation
[ ]l'alphabet des ravers !! lOol !
[ ]hiiiha
2006 March:
[ ]connecticut
[ ]Circus
[ ]www.galvan.org
[ ]i haev to scream
[ ]Try
[ ]blah blah
[ ]im new at this
[ ]Hardcore
[ ]Angels of the dark
[ ]Hypocrite
2006 February:
[ ]For breakfast I had a small portion of cake and...
[ ]Heilsa!
[ ]nadland---where the roads are paved with gummy bears
[ ]Marianne - Tori Amos
[ ]It is that, Just.
[ ]My inspiration
[ ]Authenticité
[ ]To You My Friend
[ ]Idee de T
[ ]J'ai mal au ventre...
[ ]comme toujours
2006 January:
[ ]AH KE ÇA VA BIEN
[ ]Juste trop de lectures
[ ]..............
[ ]L'expérimentation du grand Architecte
[ ]Game master
[ ]ouf what a year 2005
[ ]test
[ ]A song of enlightenment
[ ]My Ex
[ ]My Destroyed Life
[ ]take me down
[ ]De retour avec son kit de son
[ ]Houellebecq meets Nietzsche
[ ]puls cafe cracow poland
[ ]Déjà 10 ans de rap français... !!
[ ]the banjo consorsium on seedsound netlabel
[ ]Still a lot to knnow about ourselves!!!
[ ]day off!
Title:I am my own antithesis
Posted On:2006-11-11 00:18:19
Posted By:» Screwhead
Fuckin' IBS has fucked me up so much more than I thought possible. I've had to completely change myself around. Against my will, I've been turned into a straight-edge vegetarian, and I fucking hate it.

No alcohol, no smoking of any kind, no caffeine, no carbonated beverages, no chocolate, nothing that's a stimulant, no dairy, no coffee, and NO MEAT! It's like I had to make a list of all my favorite things, for the specific purpose of being told that I wasn't alowed to partake in them anymore.

Fun side effects include: constipation, diarhea, stabbing pain, gas, and bloating. The gas being the really fun one. IBS sufferers call it leaky gas, because you're just so full and bloated with gas all the time that you're constantly leaking and farting without realising it. I fucking hate this shit.

The advantage, I guess, is that from eating healthier, I actually feel kinda healthy, which is something that I don't think I've really known for quite a while. Now if I could get some happieness in there, that would be great, but I'm not gonna hold my breath.

Finally got out of verdump, now livin' with Louis, 2 blocks away from the big O! We've got a cat, Bucky, and he is fat and fuzzy and cute as hell. So at least I've got most of the stress out of my life for now and can start trying to piece myself together again.

The fuckin' food crap is driving me insane though. I've got my birthday and christmas coming up, and now I can't eat any of the food that I've been looking forward to. No steak or anything like that for my birthday, no getting drunk, hell not even a glass of wine. Can't have a cake, either, unless it's not made with any dairy or too much sugar, and at that I can't have anything with chocolate, either, so really what's the point of getting any?

What kind of belgian can't eat chocolate, fries with mayo, or drink beer?

And to just go and add to my list of things that are depressing the fuck out of me, it's now 5 years straight that I've been single and not had anyone around for the holidays and my birthday. The holidays are the time your suposed to be with loved ones, and watching all the happy people does nothing but remind me of how lonely I am.

Every once in a while, I can't help but think that maybe I died in that hospital bed when I was 13, and that my beliefs really are wrong, and the all my life since then has just been me in my own custom-tailored hell, designed to torment me and make me hurt, physicaly and emotionaly, for the rest of the time that I will percieve.