Rave News! Canadian Rave Scene Articles! Sticky
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» KORHAL replied on Sun Nov 28, 2010 @ 10:09pm |
 Coolness: 558535 | Ravenews articles are based around actual happenings in the scene(s). They are stretched far from truth at certain points so it's never the entire truth. Like the spooning ravers in the broken down freight elevator. That was Noah and I, but the spooning never happened >_> |
| I'm feeling got a good feeling about this right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» basdini replied on Mon Nov 29, 2010 @ 12:21am |
 Coolness: 145185 | sure it didn't |
| I'm feeling surly right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Mon Nov 29, 2010 @ 2:21am |
 Coolness: 2603970 | RAVE NEWS - NOVEMBER 28TH
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CANDY, LITTLE GIRL? Parents of a small suburban community are up in arms over one party promoter they claim is preying on their children. The thirty five year old event organizer apparently surrounds himself with a bevvy of underaged playthings that he recruits at the bashes he throws. Even sixteen years olds might be past their prime for this man, who obsesses over the underdeveloped. There's something off about a guy in his thirties who hangs out with children, so when a neighborhood family man spotted the promoter at a park flirting with a bunch of young girls, he confronted him. This lead to a brief kerfuffle under the monkeybars, and ended with the event organizer on his back, face on the ground, sobbing like a baby. The party man didn't take kindly to getting his ass kicked in front of his darling dainties. He decided to reclaim his dignity by redoubling his efforts to corrupt the young lasses of the suburb. Our intrepid promoter began throwing suburban raves every week. At first, he was throwing legitimate parties, but the cops kept shutting them down This didn't stop the man, it just drove his efforts underground. He started breaking into buildings and throwing squat parties. These weren't taking place in abandoned buildings, either. He threw one party at a high school gym and another party happened on the rooftop of a local bank. The events weren't massive affairs, and usually he'd be lucky to get a turnout of seventy five people, but they were big enough to serve his purpose -- to impress the underaged. Teenagers aren't the most reliable people when it comes to keeping secrets. Eventually, parents found out about what this faginesque promoter was doing, and got the police involved. The parents wanted his head, but they probably won't get it. That's not to say the promoter isn't in trouble -- three of the girls who were regulars at his parties admitted to sleeping with the man, so he was facing multiple charges of statutory rape. DNA evidence later showed that the parents made the whole story up because they were uncomfortable with their children hanging out with the perverted man. He is now suing for defamation of character. |
| I'm feeling nuclear right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Mon Nov 29, 2010 @ 4:38pm |
| Coolness: 2603970 | RAVE NEWS - NOVEMBER 29TH
ROYAL RAVE Prince William, Canada's next king, was recently engaged. It's kind of a big deal. Over in the United Kingdom, the wedding day will be a national holiday, and everyone will get to play hookie from work. However, the Brits aren't the only ones who are going to use the royal wedding as an excuse to get wasted and party -- a group of royalist ravers in Montreal are planning to throw a huge bash to celebrate the union of the King and Queen who will one day rule over them. Tentatively titled White Wedding, the party will take place on April 29th, the day that Prince William and Kate Middleton's will tie the knot. They chose to get married on the 29th to accomodate Prince Harry, who will be enjoying a two week break from military service at the end of April. While the royals are getting hitched at Westminster Abbey, the royalist ravers in Montreal will be partying at a mansion in Senneville. Apparently, they've found a wealthy blue blood patron who is funding the whole damn shindig. He's even paying out of pocket for buses to bring people in from the city to the mansion kind of like those old school parties that used to bus people from Milton / Clark to the middle of nowhere. The anonymous benefactor used to rave back in the nineties, and he thought it would be nice to relive his youth on the day one of his idols, Prince William, says his wedding vows. As a result of his largess, many people will benefit. I'm sure his won't be the only party going on to celebrate the royal wedding, but it'll probably be the fanciest. |
| I'm feeling nuclear right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Kire replied on Mon Nov 29, 2010 @ 7:02pm |
 Coolness: 66685 | noahs condom, speaks the truth. |
| I'm feeling has to catch up on sleep right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Tue Nov 30, 2010 @ 9:03pm |
| Coolness: 2603970 | RAVE NEWS - NOVEMBER 30TH
PIZZA FIGHT This psytrance crew had just finished throwing one of their most successful parties ever. The mess that had been left behind was epic in scale, and several volunteers had stayed behind to help clean it up. To show their appreciation, the promoters decided to order pizza for all of them. Their generosity would set off a chain of events that no one could foresee. One of the volunteers, a deco artist, was joshing around with a prominent DJs girlfriend, when he decided to slap her in the face with a slice of everybody's favorite Italian dish. He thought his act of food warfare was hilarious, but his victim didn't share his mirth. She looked at him in shock, tomato sauce and cheese dripping down her face, before launching into a furious tirade against him. At the heart of her anger was the fear that she was going to get zits because of his food throwing ways. When he started laughing her concerns off, something in the back of her head snapped, and she lunged at him. She landed a good punch right in his face before the other volunteers pulled her off of him. The promoters asked the deco guy to leave, which he did, though he couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. The deco artist didn't fully appreciate how upset the girl was with him. He thought she would eventually calm down and let things slide, but that never happened. Later that week, he saw her at a club her boyfriend was playing at, and the first thing she did upon seeing him was dump a glass of beer over his head. Several days later, he came back home to find a voodoo doll hanging from a noose attached to the handle of his front door. There was a little note attached to the doll's chest with a single word written on it: "YOU." The deco artist has tried making peace with this woman on several occasions since receiving the voodoo doll, but she wants nothing to do with him. Prior to the pizza fight, she and her boyfriend would often drop by his place and share a couple beers, but since the night of the attack, they haven't been by even once. His food slapping ways have cost him two friendships, and made him an unwelcome figure among certain psytrance circles. The deco artist has since learned his lesson, and now believes that food should never be used as a weapon. |
| I'm feeling nuclear right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Kire replied on Wed Dec 1, 2010 @ 8:13pm |
| Coolness: 66685 | LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooOOoooOOL shitstorm might be coming |
| I'm feeling has to catch up on sleep right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Wed Dec 1, 2010 @ 11:02pm |
| Coolness: 2603970 | RAVE NEWS - DECEMBER 1ST
RAVERS EAT THE DEAD A Montreal promoter has recently become estranged from his friends and families after embracing a disturbing new diet philosophy. He doesn't think people should eat animals, but he's not a vegan or even a vegetarian. He's an aspiring cannibal. For the last two months, he's been telling anyone who would listen that human beings should consider eating their dead; to do otherwise is a waste of food, and unlike eating animals, eating people is ethical since folks can consent to being eaten, while animals cannot. His new point of view has been hard to stomach for those who know and love him. They thought he was joking when he first told them about his desire to feast on human flesh, but they soon realized he was dead serious about his passion for cannibalism. His friends and family are now concerned for his well being, and some of them suspect that he might be going through a psychological breakdown. If he is going crazy, then he has to be one of the most grounded lunatics out there. He's been spreading the cannibal gospel for the last six weeks, and has converted at least a few people to his man-eating ways. This crew of cannibal connoisseurs are even talking about starting a non profit organization to advance their cause. They think that if people want to eat each other, then the government has no business telling them otherwise. The rave promoter, as the leader of this small group, also argues that we could solve world hunger if we simply started eating our dead. He maintains that an enormous amount of human meat is wasted every day in funerals and cremations, and that this meat could be used to feed starving people around the world. This is a radical argument, so you can understand why people are starting to find this promoter unsettling to be around. Is he crazy though? Well, maybe not. Who knows? Hundreds of years from now, our descendants might think we're crazy for burying people instead of eating them. Values change. Maybe he isn't a lunatic. Maybe he's a visionary. |
| I'm feeling nuclear right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Ashigaikha replied on Thu Dec 2, 2010 @ 6:57pm |
 Coolness: 73820 | lol! win
Human flesh could be the best meat ever! Yuuuummmm! |
| I'm feeling love.light right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AYkiN0XiA replied on Thu Dec 2, 2010 @ 7:07pm |
 Coolness: 166560 | apparently human flesh tastes like pork... |
| I'm feeling inspired right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» El_Presidente replied on Thu Dec 2, 2010 @ 8:37pm |
 Coolness: 299310 | you guys have no clue what youre missing |
| I'm feeling the president right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» KORHAL replied on Fri Dec 3, 2010 @ 12:13am |
| Coolness: 558535 | -OBLIGATORY OM NOM NOM HERE- |
| I'm feeling got a good feeling about this right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Fri Dec 3, 2010 @ 1:15am |
| Coolness: 2603970 | RAVE NEWS - DECEMBER 2ND
GLOW STICK DISASTER A Montreal promoter is thinking of calling it quits after his last illegal squat party crashed and burned. Like most of his parties, this bash was an off the grid free for all that didn't cost a single red cent to attend. He threw the party on the second floor of an out of the way, abandoned bakery over in Verdun. There was plenty of drugs, booze, and sex on hand, but he expected that. Hell, those vices are half the reason he throws these little parties. What the promoter didn't expect was for his gas generator to start leaking midway through the night. The generator was initially placed next to the DJ booth, but when the room started reeking of gas, he tucked it away in what used to be the bakery's freezer room. Shortly after he set the generator up in this poorly ventilated location, several acid heads decided to drop in and turn the place into a make-out room. When the promoter tried to shoo them away for their own safety, they got indignant and started yelling at him. Instead of fighting with them, he decided to move the generator to an even more remote area of the bakery -- a backroom that was impossible to get to without walking over a sea of broken shards of glass. The room had a small window that lead out to the fire escape, and he decided to place his generator on its sill. Later that night, the cracked out ravers who had given the promoter a hard time decided, for reason's of their own, that they were expert mechanics. They trekked out to the backroom to try and fix the leaky generator. They failed. Miserably. One of the wunderkind raver mechanics tripped over the power cable, which accomplished three things: it brought the music to an abrupt end, it shut the lighting off, and it sent the man hand first into the sea of glass that covered most of backroom's floor. The promoter rushed to his generator to try to get the power back on. He quickly jumped over the fallen raver, who was bleeding everywhere, though you could hardly tell in the darkness of the room. The promoter got his hands on the cable that the drugged out mechanics had unplugged, and right when he was about to turn the power back on, he heard a terrifyingly loud and agonizing scream of pain. He was so startled by the yell that he accidentally pushed the generator off the window sill and on to the fire escape, which was apparently falling to pieces, because when the generator landed on it, the whole thing collapsed. The generator and a chunk of the fire escape hit the ground with a thunderous boom, a noise that was loud enough to get the attention of a police car that just happened to be passing by the building when all of this went down. He looked out the window in shock, then quickly turned around when he saw that the cops were about to park their car. This was when he found out what had caused the blood curdling yell that had precipitated this disaster: one of the wounded raver's friends had decided that glow stick fluid would make an excellent healing balm for his cuts. After he managed to break one in half, he started pouring its raver juice over his wounded friend's hands. The moment the toxic goo hit those cuts, the guy started yelling out in pain. The promoter was baffled by their stupidity, but he didn't have the time to deal with them. The cops were on their way, and he had to get as much of his equipment out of the place before the cops got there. Everyone managed to escape, though the wounded raver had to have his hands treated at a hospital. The promoter, meanwhile, didn't lose anything besides a few lights and a crappy generator. Well, that's not entirely true. He also lost a great deal of respect for the rave scene. He'll probably get over it though. After all, most ravers aren't stupid enough to think that glow stick goo has medicinal properties. Right? |
| I'm feeling nuclear right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AlieN-A replied on Fri Dec 3, 2010 @ 6:08am |
 Coolness: 101350 | Sureeee XDXD thatss the stupidest thing I have ever heard.. lol Pouring glow stick fluid on wounds to make them heal XDXD Bhahahahahahahahahahah LOL People can be morons sometimes!! |
| I'm feeling kaaa'' klaownnn right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Kire replied on Fri Dec 3, 2010 @ 6:47pm |
| Coolness: 66685 | dude i've never laughed so fucking hard in my life LOL |
| I'm feeling has to catch up on sleep right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Fri Dec 3, 2010 @ 9:19pm |
| Coolness: 2603970 | RAVE NEWS - DECEMBER 3RD
RACIST COPS A couple late night lady revelers got in the wrong cab last week. The two women were drunk, they were tired, and they just wanted to get home. Unfortunately for the raving duo, the man who had picked them up was a lecherous creep. This tactless and tasteless cabbie made several inappropriate comments to the girls, and they were having none of it. Both of the women eventually started arguing with the driver, and demanded that he pull over and let them out. A brief kerfuffle took place as the women left his vehicle, which is when one of them told the driver they were going to call the cops on him. The cabbie laughed it off, and taunted her, telling her to go right ahead. This is when the story takes a bitter turn. When the cops showed up, they were brusque, rude, and condescending. Our lady ravers were anglophones, and the police officers as well as the cab driver were Francophone. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but the officers at the scene were apparently racist as hell. The cab driver was the one responsible for this entire imbroglio; he had made inappropriate sexual advances to his customers, and then when they asked him to pull over and let them out, he attacked them. This didn't matter to the police officers one lick. Because the women couldn't speak french, they decided the entire problem was obviously their fault. When they told the cab driver that he was free to leave and that he had done nothing wrong, the women started arguing with the officers, which is when they threatened to arrest them. The women shut their mouth, and decided to back off. The two were understandably upset with their police encounter. They felt disempowered by the exchange, and have lost considerable faith in the justice system as a result of what they experienced. Unfortunately, we live in a society where the police are rarely held accountable for their actions. Police abuse is endemic in Canada, and our political class has no interest in addressing the issue. |
| I'm feeling nuclear right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» KORHAL replied on Fri Dec 3, 2010 @ 9:27pm |
| Coolness: 558535 | Wow... wow to both articles. |
| I'm feeling got a good feeling about this right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» recoil replied on Sun Dec 5, 2010 @ 9:31am |
 Coolness: 86490 | Originally Posted By NUCLEAR
Our lady ravers were anglophones, and the police officers as well as the cab driver were Francophone. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but the officers at the scene were apparently racist as hell. I wasn't aware Anglophones were a race ;) if somebody is discriminated against because of the colour of their skin, it's racism if somebody is discriminated against because of their ethnicity, nationality, religion, language, etc.. then it's bigotry of course, it's a fine line with a lot of overlap. but in this scenario, the police officers were prejudiced against the girls because they speak English, so they are bigots |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Sun Dec 5, 2010 @ 3:17pm |
| Coolness: 2603970 | RAVE NEWS - DECEMBER 4TH
RAVER SAVIOR The webmaster of a popular Montreal nightlife website is being hailed as a hero by the city's police after he stopped a bipolar teenager from jumping off the roof of a six story apartment building. This commendable act of heroism took place after a night of reckless debauchery -- yes, last weekend, a night of senseless excess saved someone's life. Had our webmaster stayed home to study instead of have drunken sweaty sex with a half dozen people, a teenager would be dead today. Our raver savior had spent the night boozing up a storm at a Fetish Club with a bevy of bondage loving transgendered beauties. He was on his way home with this group of decadent sensualists for a good old fashioned orgy when a member of his entourage made a joke that had him laughing his head off. The webmaster glanced up at the sky in a moment of mirth, only to notice a guy standing on the ledge of a nearby building. He pointed the man out to his friends, and a mix of panic and shock came across their faces when they realized they were about to witness someone commit suicide. The webmaster immediately took control of the situation. Despite being as drunk as Mel Gibson at a Ku Klux Klan keg party, he got grounded and took command of the situation. First, he had a leather clad drag queen call the police to tell them what was going on, then he sent two other members of the group to see if they could climb up the building through one of its fire escapes. Meanwhile, he'd try to get in through the front door. The rest of the group would stay behind and keep an eye on the jumper. Unfortunately, the front door was locked. The webmaster started buzzing every single apartment in the building, hoping against hope that one of them would open the door. None of them did. The building didn't have an intercom, so he couldn't warn any of the tenants about what was happening. He gave up after a few minutes, and decided to check in on his friends who were trying to climb the fire escapes. There were two sets of ladders, one on each side of the building, and like many fire escapes, they were the kind that were easier to climb down than they were to climb up. The last portion of the ladder had to be pushed down from the second floor before it could reach ground level, and it was impossible for the group to reach the ladder by jumping. The webmaster had his friends look for a dumpster they could use to reach the fire escape, while he started picking up rocks and throwing them at the windows of people on the second floor. One of his rocks hit a window so hard it broke. Within seconds, the tenant of the apartment he hit opened what was left of his window to yell at the webmaster. He told him he was going to call the cops. The webmaster retorted that he had already done that because someone was trying to jump off the roof of his building, and that if he didn't do something quick, that person would break his neck, which was a lot more valuable than the tenant's window. He told the man to push down the fire ladder, and was apparently so persuasive that he did it within seconds of being asked. The webmaster then called out to the friends he had sent to look for a dumpster , and the three sex fiends rushed up the fire escape, with the tenant not too far behind them. Once they got to the top, the teenager was still standing on the ledge, rocking his body back and forth, inching his way towards certain doom. The kid didn't even bother to look at the people who had intruded on his meeting with the grim reaper. He just stood there, rocking to and fro', locked in his own world. This was when something remarkable happened. The webmaster, upon seeing the fragile boy who was a step away from death, turned into some kind of drunken Dr. Phil. He unleashed an epic, life affirming, soul enhancing love letter to existence. The exact words he said are lost to time, but his speech was profound enough to actually move the teenager away from the ledge he had been leaning over. He turned to face the webmaster, tears in his eyes. The webmaster approached the teenager, and the two of them hugged for a very long time. The teenager was sobbing into his chest for what seemed like hours. By the time the hug had ended, the police had arrived with an ambulance in tow. The teenager, who lived with his single father on the top floor of the building, was brought to a hospital. The dad thanked the merry band of hedonists for stopping his son from doing something stupid, and the police told the group that they were all heroes for what they did that night, though they saved their greatest compliments for the webmaster. That's not where the good times end, either. Several hours after this ordeal began, the group of BDSM loving sex freaks finally made it back to the webmaster's apartment, and he was treated to a royal feast of pleasure that went on for over three days. They fucked, they slept, they fucked, they slept, and they fucked some more. They celebrated life like champions, and had what they claim, was the best sex of their lives. The greater your deeds, the greater your sex life. That's what our group of raving saviors now believe, anyways. |
| I'm feeling nuclear right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» NoahsUsedCondom replied on Sun Dec 5, 2010 @ 3:35pm |
 Coolness: 26255 | Originally Posted By RECOIL
I wasn't aware Anglophones were a race ;) if somebody is discriminated against because of the colour of their skin, it's racism if somebody is discriminated against because of their ethnicity, nationality, religion, language, etc.. then it's bigotry of course, it's a fine line with a lot of overlap. but in this scenario, the police officers were prejudiced against the girls because they speak English, so they are bigots Sorry, but.... no. Race is a controversial concept that many Academics think is outdated. Over the last few decades, there's been a push to replace the idea of race with the idea of ethnicity in certain quarters. Not supplement, but replace. When race is interchangeable with ethnicity, which is increasingly the case, then race becomes determined by ethnogenesis. Has ethnogenesis occurred among certain Anglophone groups? Yes, it has. And since it has, it's possible to talk about English speakers as a race. Ethnogenesis is the reason racism is possible towards Muslims and Jews. Your own definition of racism is not absolute. Academics who spend their lives studying race can't even agree on what race *is*, so it's presumptuous of you to think you know what they don't. There's no consensus on race. Are you using an essentialist definition of race, a taxonomic one, one based on population, or one that focuses on clades or haplogroups? You define race by skin color. Other folks don't. The article in question deals with ethnogenic racism. That might not fit into your world view of what racism is, but your views don't hold jurisdiction over the rest of the universe.  |
| I'm feeling erect right now.. | |
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