Texts From Last Night!!!!
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 4:04pm |
 Coolness: 115510 | (253): oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
(1-253): I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate. |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 4:05pm |
 Coolness: 294950 | (952): Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
(612): I wish i was spraying into your jaw. |
| I'm feeling a ok right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 4:17pm |
| Coolness: 115510 | (254): When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 4:35pm |
| Coolness: 294950 | (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
(914): she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob. (540): This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster. (514): I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later. (this one is fake for sure) |
| I'm feeling a ok right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 4:44pm |
| Coolness: 115510 | Originally Posted By JOJO_BIZARRE
(514): I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later. (this one is fake for sure) hahahaha cest surement fake mais sa ressemble a des soirees de mon ancien appart :P |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 4:45pm |
| Coolness: 294950 | ou tu miens des fois!
(609): i'm saving my butt for my wedding night (310): Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me. |
| I'm feeling a ok right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 4:59pm |
| Coolness: 115510 | (915): What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
(831): theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it Update » LeChat wrote on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 5:06pm (214): so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
(214): i got awkward and finally asked him what he said (214): he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it Update » LeChat wrote on Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 5:11pm (336): There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
(336): This is god's gift to the unemployed. Merde jsuis tellement fatiguee que jtrouve sa fucking drole et que jris fort dans le bureau................. |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 10:12am |
| Coolness: 294950 | (440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
(330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth (707): Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman. (201): Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice. |
| I'm feeling a ok right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 10:18am |
| Coolness: 115510 | 505): No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens Update » LeChat wrote on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 10:29am (561): next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill Update » LeChat wrote on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 12:17pm (602): I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH IM ON A BOAT |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 2:23pm |
| Coolness: 294950 | (248): Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup. |
| I'm feeling a ok right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 2:29pm |
| Coolness: 115510 | (570): I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 3:23pm |
| Coolness: 294950 | (303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
(407): Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis. (301): she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying (203): but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she (706): Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn (706): And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her |
| I'm feeling a ok right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DrGonzo replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 3:24pm |
 Coolness: 265930 | Originally Posted By JOJO_BIZARRE
(706): Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn (706): And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her Hahahah |
| I'm feeling gimme crackpipe right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 3:25pm |
 Coolness: 685565 | that tattoo one sounds like an awesome idea! |
| I'm feeling like a drama magnet right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 3:30pm |
| Coolness: 115510 | (508): you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 3:33pm |
| Coolness: 294950 | (440): why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
(1-440): you have got to be kidding? (317): ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions. (440): he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever. (860): i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life. |
| I'm feeling a ok right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 3:34pm |
| Coolness: 115510 | (1-415): What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
(415): Irish Spring? |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JojoBizarre replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 3:36pm |
| Coolness: 294950 | it sure does, thats what I use :D |
| I'm feeling a ok right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DrGonzo replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 3:37pm |
| Coolness: 265930 | Originally Posted By LECHAT
(1-415): What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey? (415): Irish Spring? hahah |
| I'm feeling gimme crackpipe right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» LeChat replied on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 3:46pm |
| Coolness: 115510 | (646): Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down. Update » LeChat wrote on Fri Jul 24, 2009 @ 3:47pm (218): Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
(763): ew wtf |
| I'm feeling the bass right now.. | |
Texts From Last Night!!!!
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