Social Tips ?
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DynV replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 12:26am |
 Coolness: 108945 | Hello and sorry for crashing the party as it seem the latest posts were about joyful topics, hopefully I won't get too much negative replies ...
First of all, I've always been socially awkward, it seems everyone but me seems to say the right thing at the right time, the few acquaintances I have are like me in that sense so we get along but they seem as inept as me socially. Here's the problem : I've always went to shows with someone close that live far away and only like one genre of music thus I'm alone if I want to event playing EBM, aggrotech, dubstep, drum & bass, etc. Actually I've only been to one event featuring such a genre and the night seemed young and some where dancing but it wasn't my style so I though I'd go in a dark corner to hide and just chill until I wanted to dance but although it hasn't well well lit everyone could see others faces so unless I fixed a wall or something I was bound to looked at people and being alone I was very awkward so I finished the couple drinks I order and bolted out even though a DJ I really liked was just an hour or two away ... I was too nervous and humiliated. :( Now I'm going to a bigger event so hopefully there won't only be 30 people in the room so my lonely face won't be as much recurring and hopefully I can just blend in, or at least not stick out. I don't know what I'll do if the same situation repeat itself, this time it will take me much more time to go and the cost won't be so inconsiderable. I never had ease at chit chat and, obviously, have some self-esteem issues. Thank you for advice for this specific situation or close ones Je prends très bien les conseils francophone cependant j'ai constaté la prépondérance de l'anglais dans le groupe de discussion. |
| I'm feeling lucky that my countr right now.. | |
| Good [+2]Toggle ReplyLink» Strik_IX replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 12:40am |
 Coolness: 88780 | Easier said than done, but just try to let loose. What brings you to these shows or events is your love of music, dont let anyone's opinion or what they "might" think get to you. Let the music take control and just let go.
I for one often go to events alone, because a vast majority of my close friends arent into dnb, I know that when I go to these events I will be surrounded by familiar faces, sometimes I socialise, sometimes I dont. I go for the music, I go for the dancing, for that feeling of freedom which only comes to me when I'm letting the music take control and just flow. Sometimes I wonder what others might be thinking, but when I'm in my bubble, on the dancefloor, I just dont give a shit, I just dance dance dance. I understand your situation, when I was younger I was just the same, I was very much a social outcast and had trouble making friends. It all changed when I started raving and realised that what all those assholes thought about me didnt matter. When I started living my life by my rules and quit trying to fit in is when people started to take me as I was, for I was living my life I wasnt trying to fit in, I fit in naturally because I was myself. Anyways, I hope this helps, stay positive and good things will happen. Trust me. |
| I'm feeling <( ^_^ )> right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DynV replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 12:46am |
| Coolness: 108945 | Originally Posted By STRIK_IX
Anyways, I hope this helps, stay positive and good things will happen. Trust me. Yes it helps and I'll try very hard ! :| |
| I'm feeling lucky that my countr right now.. | |
| Good [+2]Toggle ReplyLink» Necspress replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 1:05am |
 Coolness: 53745 | And stick to the free psychotropic substance path, that fits well with the whole "living your life and not trying to fit in" Strik_IX mentioned. |
| I'm feeling n/a right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» databoy replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 1:51am |
 Coolness: 106255 | Whatever you do DONT BE YOURSELF!
(JOke) Chill out, everyone's to busy worrying about themselves to notice you. |
| I'm feeling love right now.. | |
| Neutral [0]Toggle ReplyLink» El_Presidente replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 2:25am |
 Coolness: 299465 | Originally Posted By DYNV
Hello and sorry for crashing the party as it seem the latest posts were about joyful topics, hopefully I won't get too much negative replies ... First of all, I've always been socially awkward, it seems everyone but me seems to say the right thing at the right time, the few acquaintances I have are like me in that sense so we get along but they seem as inept as me socially. Here's the problem : I've always went to shows with someone close that live far away and only like one genre of music thus I'm alone if I want to event playing EBM, aggrotech, dubstep, drum & bass, etc. Actually I've only been to one event featuring such a genre and the night seemed young and some where dancing but it wasn't my style so I though I'd go in a dark corner to hide and just chill until I wanted to dance but although it hasn't well well lit everyone could see others faces so unless I fixed a wall or something I was bound to looked at people and being alone I was very awkward so I finished the couple drinks I order and bolted out even though a DJ I really liked was just an hour or two away ... I was too nervous and humiliated. :( Now I'm going to a bigger event so hopefully there won't only be 30 people in the room so my lonely face won't be as much recurring and hopefully I can just blend in, or at least not stick out. I don't know what I'll do if the same situation repeat itself, this time it will take me much more time to go and the cost won't be so inconsiderable. I never had ease at chit chat and, obviously, have some self-esteem issues. Thank you for advice for this specific situation or close ones Je prends très bien les conseils francophone cependant j'ai constaté la prépondérance de l'anglais dans le groupe de discussion. Take speed |
| I'm feeling tipsy for prez 2009 right now.. | |
| Good [+2]Toggle ReplyLink» Gamos replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 5:25am |
 Coolness: 93635 | lol@the president
Um but I know what you mean. Going places alone when you know no one is kinda tough. But its better than going with friends if you want to meet new people. Too many times when your with friends you use them as a safety net so you don't have to meet new people. You just talk to your friends and isolate yourself from everyone else...so like Stik said, your better off being alone. The truth is that everyone is deathly scared of different things. Everyone. And you have a choice: you either deal with it, or you accept it. If you accept it, then youre going to be that guy in the corner who dances a bit. If you deal with it, then you just deal with it. You will sit down one day, and say "fuck it. Im gonna change", and you attack it head on. And then you start appoaching people and initiate conversations. And after enough practice, you'll get it. If your scared shitless of something, baby steps don't work. Its like wading into an ice cold pool. Fuck it. Just jump in head first. Let go and just do it. The only thing holding you back is you. It sounds like really shitty advice right now, but once you figure out you can do anything the fuck you want, you'll get it. |
| I'm feeling like a failure right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Strik_IX replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 5:37am |
| Coolness: 88780 | It aint shitty advice, it's the truth.
And I deserve a PLUR badge, I had a fucking PLURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR moment omg o_O |
| I'm feeling <( ^_^ )> right now.. | |
| Neutral [0]Toggle ReplyLink» Mico replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 6:20am |
 Coolness: 150600 | Originally Posted By EL_LEADER_MAXIMO
Take speed took the words right out of my mouth. |
| I'm feeling cool right now.. | |
| Neutral [0]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 6:31am |
 Coolness: 685730 | Originally Posted By EL_LEADER_MAXIMO
Take speed QFT take speed, or go aproach the person that looks like they're chewing their face off. |
| I'm feeling your norks right now.. | |
| Neutral [0]Toggle ReplyLink» system_glitch replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 7:14am |
 Coolness: 162640 | If speed looks like a disgusting option, you might want to try wrapping it in bacon before you shove it up. Just a thought. |
| I'm feeling in venomous bloom right now.. | |
| Good [+2]Toggle ReplyLink» Vegan replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 9:13am |
 Coolness: 38910 | Hey! Would you like to go to a party together? I don't take drugs at them either. I always go alone and just melt into the energy of a party but actually going with someone might be interesting!
The great thing about parties is that in general, people don't judge you for being a bit shy or awkward, and it's perfectly OK to not know how to dance. Just flail around, that's what most people are doing anyways. It's about feeling good, not impressing everyone else. In fact if you are flailing around without any dancing skill, many people tend to think you are even cooler for being a carefree flailer. If you just feel like sitting there, that is fine too. There are different ways to enjoy a party. You do have the right to sit, and be quiet, and not talk to anyone :) Nobody (who's worth your caring) is going to judge you badly for that. Another one of the great things about raves is that you don't need to know anyone or have an entourage to be accepted, like you might in a bar. There seems to be a bit more of a communal feeling in the scene and people are open to being friendly with new people, even if you are shy or awkward. When I see an "awkward" person it even endears me to them, I don't know why. It's just so cute. Flying Vermacelli Monster only knows, I have my odd moments too, which I'm sure are taken way better in the rave scene than "mainstream" culture. We can grab some dinner or tea or something and then go to the party! Do you like chess? |
| I'm feeling the strings right now.. | |
| Bad [-4]Toggle ReplyLink» Blisss replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 9:41am |
 Coolness: 129860 | Originally Posted By STRIK_IX
It all changed when I started raving and realised that what all those assholes thought about me didnt matter. I've got news for you, you're an asshole too I've rarely seen someone as consistently negative, judgemental and insulting as you Strik, ever! |
| I'm feeling like the good guy right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Kuzutetsu replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 9:57am |
 Coolness: 133175 | Thats an interesting topic... ive feeled the same way many time before even if there was great music
playing and I knew some ppl there... Mais DynV tsé dans les shows métal tu ten criss tellement daller la pis de connaitre personne pis detre depressed ou pissed off ou whatever jai été a tellement de show metal/hardcore/punk depuis que jsuis ti-cul juste pour me garocher dans le trash comme un malade pis évacuer toute mes frustrations, me suis déja faite peter la gueule a des shows aussi ;) Mais c'est plein de bon souvenirs, que je suis aller la tout-seul ou non que j'ai rencontrer quelqu'un ou non, que j'ai parler a personne de la soirée mais transpirer un bon coup pis geuler des conneries pis me faire regarder comme "who the hell is that guy" My advice, D'ont Give A Fuck and Have Fun Anyway :P oh if u feel like talking to ppl Still D'ont Give Fuck if theyre mean to you or look at you strange or like stubborn bitches or whatever....sry for the Eminem song quotes :P But I dunno really I had those kind of discussions with an long-time friend of mine so many times years ago, we've all been through that but it fucking messes with your mind if you think to much about and the more you think about the more your fucking stressed and then you get all fucking paranoid...ive been through that... I know I can't deal with that kind of stress at all; Just chill the fuck-out and some people will eventually come talk to you, be nice to them if you feel its worth it; nway this talk can go on for days, my friend came up to me with like hey man i'm antisocial like you thats why were best friends; SCREW THIS! I am defenatly not antisocial. Update » Kuzutetsu wrote on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 9:58am BLISS GET THE FUCK OUT THIS WAS A NICE THREAD
WITHOUT YOUR BULLSHIT POSTS. |
| I'm feeling broke as fuck right now.. | |
| Bad [-1]Toggle ReplyLink» Blisss replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 10:14am |
| Coolness: 129860 | Originally Posted By KUZUTETSU
My advice, D'ont Give A Fuck and Have Fun Anyway :P oh if u feel like talking to ppl Still D'ont Give Fuck if theyre mean to you or look at you strange or like stubborn bitches or whatever.... Thats some great advice, thanks |
| I'm feeling like the good guy right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Kuzutetsu replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 10:16am |
| Coolness: 133175 | np But why u need to pick on everybody its freakin annoying
GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU :) |
| I'm feeling broke as fuck right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Strik_IX replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 10:21am |
| Coolness: 88780 | Originally Posted By BLISSS
I've got news for you, you're an asshole too I've rarely seen someone as consistently negative, judgemental and insulting as you Strik, ever! Originally Posted By kuzutetsu
BLISS GET THE FUCK OUT THIS WAS A NICE THREAD WITHOUT YOUR BULLSHIT POSTS Bang! Quit projecting and listen to the wisdom of Kuzutetsu. Let's keep this thread on topic, for once we've got good discussion going, we can certainly do without targetted insults that are completely offtopic and bring nothing to the discussion. DynV has opened up to us complete strangers and I think we can definitely give him a hand or at least some good advice, transforming this thread into an enflamatory shit storm is the last thing on our collective minds. DynV - I suggest you use your "God Emperor" powers and just ban BLISSS from this thread so we can keep this discussion as positive and on topic as possible. If you dont know our local thunder troll, you will very soon. I try real hard not to feed it, but the hungrier it gets the more it yaps and destroys the furniture. |
| I'm feeling <( ^_^ )> right now.. | |
| Bad [-1]Toggle ReplyLink» Blisss replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 10:42am |
| Coolness: 129860 | Dick |
| I'm feeling like the good guy right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» basdini replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 11:05am |
 Coolness: 145340 | "Vegannibal and DynV sitting in a tree "K" "I" "S" "S" "I" "N" "G"..." Originally Posted By VEGANNIBAL
Hey! Would you like to go to a party together? I don't take drugs at them either. I always go alone and just melt into the energy of a party but actually going with someone might be interesting! The great thing about parties is that in general, people don't judge you for being a bit shy or awkward, and it's perfectly OK to not know how to dance. Just flail around, that's what most people are doing anyways. It's about feeling good, not impressing everyone else. In fact if you are flailing around without any dancing skill, many people tend to think you are even cooler for being a carefree flailer. If you just feel like sitting there, that is fine too. There are different ways to enjoy a party. You do have the right to sit, and be quiet, and not talk to anyone :) Nobody (who's worth your caring) is going to judge you badly for that. Another one of the great things about raves is that you don't need to know anyone or have an entourage to be accepted, like you might in a bar. There seems to be a bit more of a communal feeling in the scene and people are open to being friendly with new people, even if you are shy or awkward. When I see an "awkward" person it even endears me to them, I don't know why. It's just so cute. Flying Vermacelli Monster only knows, I have my odd moments too, which I'm sure are taken way better in the rave scene than "mainstream" culture. We can grab some dinner or tea or something and then go to the party! Do you like chess? lalala "Vegannibal and DynV sitting in a tree.... "K" "I" "S" "S" "I" "N" "G"..." |
| I'm feeling surly right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» BOBDYLAN replied on Sun Feb 1, 2009 @ 11:07am |
 Coolness: 148325 | second that basdini :) |
| I'm feeling brokeback rave.ca right now.. | |
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