Need Solution To Problem
| Good [+2]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Sat Aug 29, 2009 @ 9:57pm |
 Coolness: 2603990 | A friend of mine has a problem. I think she is a compulsive lier. Every time she tells me something she will do the opposite of what she says...
Example: I'm going home. = I'm going to a friends place. I'm leaving now to come see you. = I will leave in 4 hours to come see you. I'll see you after work. = Maybe I'll see you after work. I'll be there for 4pm. = I'll be there sometime after 6pm and before midnight. Let's go out to eat. = I'll be ready to go out to eat at 11pm when all restaurants are closed. I'm coming right over to smoke a joint. = I'll be over to smoke a joint sometime in the next 2 days. Is there anything to do to get people with this problem to actually do what they say they will do. At first I was like, shit happens, sometimes you can't do what you say. But now it's more like every thing that comes out of her mouth is bullshit. I have a couple of options. 1) Every time I get bullshitted, become unavailable for a week. 2) Bullshit back. Start saying things and do exactly what she does so she knows how it feels. 3) Not see the person anymore and only deal with people who don't lie compulsively. 4) ??? What would you people do? How many of you have dealt with a girl who does the same things? I know for me I always do what I say I will do. Why aren't more people like me? |
| I'm feeling nuclear right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» ONE.LAB.RAT replied on Sat Aug 29, 2009 @ 10:31pm |
 Coolness: 76145 | 1 and 2
if it do not work #3 |
| I'm feeling hurt right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» recoil replied on Sat Aug 29, 2009 @ 10:46pm |
 Coolness: 86510 | well if she is doing that it means she doesn't have respect for you. question is how long do you put up with it?
life is too short for that kind of bullshit. so... make some big plans to meet her somewhere for a Friday night out. then go meet up and have fun with other people somewhere else. dont answer her calls that night. then when she calls you the next day wondering what the fuck happened, just tell her "ya I forgot about some things I had to do - I'm kind of tied up right now. talk to you later." that might make her learn to respect you and change her ways. but she sounds like a flake. so I would recommend just leaving it at that, and moving on to better things. just my advice =) |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Bad_Chemistry replied on Sun Aug 30, 2009 @ 5:53am |
 Coolness: 73090 | Have you tried confronting her about it, like just letting her know that it really sucks when you make plans, and you ditch other people or plans to chill with her, only to be stood up?
I'd see how she responds to that and then decide what to do. Maybe she's just a scatter-brain and isn't intentionally doing this. Like I am late for everything, but I just have no conception of time, honestly I think it could be a medical condition. I think it's her intention that counts. Mind you like is she usually just late, or does she more often then not lie and just not show up? |
| I'm feeling wtf charles? right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» recoil replied on Sun Aug 30, 2009 @ 6:16am |
| Coolness: 86510 | ^^^
ya. after I wrote that I realized that my solution is pretty heavy-handed. I only used that example because that is how I once handled a situation. I was dating some girl who turned out to be very narcissistic and inconsiderate. so I gave her a taste of her own medicine and then kicked her to the curb. then she started wanting to hang with me more. some people are weird like that. but ya. you should first try talking to her about it. give her a chance. if she continues on doing what you asked her not to do, then forget about her and move on |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» FUCKERS replied on Sun Aug 30, 2009 @ 6:18am |
 Coolness: 89745 | i vote #1 .. but make sure she finds out its bullshit .. then when she decides to confront you, well its rubbin time! in yo face! |
| I'm feeling porny right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DynV replied on Sun Aug 30, 2009 @ 6:29am |
 Coolness: 108810 | Originally Posted By NUCLEAR
2) Bullshit back. Start saying things and do exactly what she does so she knows how it feels. Sound interesting ! For example, I'm going to drink at this cheap (& lame) place and at X time I'll be going at an awesome place, it's a surprise (so she just won't go directly to the second place) so meet me at the cheap place, I can wait for you for a little while. ... and you never go to the cheap place. |
| I'm feeling <3 sexi_babe_69 right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AYkiN0XiA replied on Sun Aug 30, 2009 @ 4:29pm |
 Coolness: 166580 | hehe number two looks like more fun :) you can get really creative :) |
| I'm feeling psy-minded right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» MolocH replied on Sun Aug 30, 2009 @ 4:30pm |
 Coolness: 226280 | yeah well two wrongs don't add up to a right.
Just warn and dump... most honest solution IMO. |
| I'm feeling numb right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Sun Aug 30, 2009 @ 4:35pm |
 Coolness: 685595 | option 3; get people like that out of your life, you'll feel a hell of a lot better not dealing with their bullshit all the time |
| I'm feeling like a drama magnet right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» nothingnopenope replied on Sun Aug 30, 2009 @ 7:57pm |
 Coolness: 201230 | The person sounds like a pothead, I'd suggest hanging out with people who aren't potheads if you want anything close to reliability. |
| I'm feeling meow right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Turtle replied on Mon Aug 31, 2009 @ 9:43am |
 Coolness: 68310 | Confrontation is the best, if she does it again after u confronted her dump her! Life is too short to be waiting for someone! |
| I'm feeling stereo right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Emyko replied on Mon Aug 31, 2009 @ 9:57am |
 Coolness: 61150 | Originally Posted By LYNZYN
Confrontation is the best, if she does it again after u confronted her dump her! Life is too short to be waiting for someone! QFT |
| I'm feeling khaos magik right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Holly_Golightly replied on Mon Aug 31, 2009 @ 10:54am |
 Coolness: 158740 | i don't think she's a compulsive liar; i think her problem is reliability.
and really i don't know solutions about that... anyway i don't think one should be in a relation w/ an other in the hope of one day changing them.. it doesn't work. if you can't accept your friend how she is, dump her. that would avoid you tones of lost time and useless deception. |
| I'm feeling hitched right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» recoil replied on Mon Aug 31, 2009 @ 11:18am |
| Coolness: 86510 | ^^^
ya. true. when it comes to relationship biz, you shouldn't ever expect to change people. and especially not dishonest people. they'll just tell you whatever they think you want to hear. if I find out I am being lied to or fucked over, and the person doesn't come clean and own up to it, it's a write-off. after that point, I know I can't trust anything they say. I just cut em out of my life and move on |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» qwertyu replied on Mon Aug 31, 2009 @ 12:15pm |
| Coolness: 72885 | yup, not a lie problem but a reliability one, some people jsut arent reliable. I hvae to work on that myself. |
| I'm feeling at peace right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» v.2-1 replied on Mon Aug 31, 2009 @ 1:02pm |
 Coolness: 159125 | I don't want to sound a bit harsh but regardless of her being an airhead or something, I find reliability to be a form of respect. You show up on time or close to that when you respect someone.
Also, I don't want to sound a bit like Darth Vader but I find her lack of reliability disturbing. I'm sorry but being an airhead doesn't excuse for being inconsiderate. Hopefully this person offers actual HEARTFELT apologies for her lateness, otherwise I do recommend what others have said here and not keeping contact with this person because, in all honesty, your time is just as invaluable to you as it is anyone else enough for you not to be spending most of it running around for people. Especially if it's a romantic interest. |
| I'm feeling "flynn lives" right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Mon Aug 31, 2009 @ 1:05pm |
| Coolness: 685595 | ^^^Exactly.
Telling someone you're going to be somewhere and not, once in a while on the odd occasion it's understandable if they're a little late or have a good reason for not making it.. But consistently, they're absolutley disrespecting you.. She gave you a time, she made a commitment to being there at that time.. |
| I'm feeling like a drama magnet right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DynV replied on Mon Aug 31, 2009 @ 4:54pm |
| Coolness: 108810 | Morality is all good and stuff but maybe Nuclear doesn't have that many people in his life he feels that strongly about. Perhaps that friend has other aspect of her life that make up for her lateness.
Emotions doesn't have to be rational but still have a role. Why not bullshit back just for the fun of it ?  Update » DynV wrote on Mon Aug 31, 2009 @ 5:02pm Someone very close to me is kind of like that, at some point I just became happy when I was around but didn't care for the future. Once I acted back and there was a strong reaction but didn't feel guilty at all, I was like : you reap what you sow ; I think that person learned a lesson or at least got a good taste of the other side. |
| I'm feeling <3 sexi_babe_69 right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» MolocH replied on Mon Aug 31, 2009 @ 4:59pm |
| Coolness: 226280 | Or you can just merk her and cleverly hide the body. |
| I'm feeling numb right now.. | |
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