The Rules : Men Steez
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» blop replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 1:03am |
 Coolness: 200765 | i totally stole this from carlos, so he should get credit for finding it.
enjoy! We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down. 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Check your oil! Please. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what fuchsia is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. We mean that. No joke. Serioulsy! 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. No NO you really do have too many shoes. 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with your fist, that will hurt more. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Simply5teve replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 1:10am |
 Coolness: 67815 | wow , im so NOT a typical guy..... |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» daFTWin replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 1:19am |
 Coolness: 276670 | Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
BAHAHAHAHAHA.. so true. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Toltech replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 1:24am |
 Coolness: 145655 | Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with your fist, that will hurt more.
hahaha Sharon you even copied the signature I had at the time....u have no personality. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Simply5teve replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 1:24am |
| Coolness: 67815 | 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
i love this one :) |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Toltech replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 1:29am |
| Coolness: 145655 | 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. This is one of my fave's because it is so true (I speak for myself of course) and the ladies should remember that not all guys "just get it" and there is not "necessarly" a corelation with us not giving a rat's ass.......u know? |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» blop replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 1:32am |
| Coolness: 200765 | i thought yr sig was something about hemorroids?
anyway, we shouldn't be talking like this... someone might find out about our secret affair. OOPS!!!!11 |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» nothingnopenope replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 1:37am |
 Coolness: 201460 | 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair.
I for one, very much like girls with short hair if it's done right (eg. not lesbian soccer mom short) |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Toltech replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 1:39am |
| Coolness: 145655 | just in case they do get that lesbian doo.....I aint taking no risks on that. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» kitkat replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 1:43am |
 Coolness: 71485 | *checks mirror*
fuck i hope i dont look like a lesbian soccer mom :/ |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Violence_Inc replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 9:38am |
 Coolness: 174325 | Ya men aren't mind readers, thank you very much. I'm still working on developping this talent...but i fear it will take many years. I've gotten into many fights with exs due to my inability to read minds...sucks. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Toltech replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 12:51pm |
| Coolness: 145655 | fellows, have u ever had this told to you by a gal "U don't know? You're supposed to know! How could u not know?"? And to top it off, there's this one "Well I shouldn't have to tell you! I can't believe you don't know what I'm thinking!"?......ok........like......who else is gonna tell me what's in her head but her........I mean, serioulsy.......gotta love 'em. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» wisp replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 12:53pm |
| Coolness: 97555 | hmmm, yeah, never hit someone when theyre wearing glasses and bruise their pwetty eyes
grrrrrrrrrrr aaaaaanyways. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Toltech replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 12:59pm |
| Coolness: 145655 | Chelsea, that was my signature at the time.....it's funny but not "you should try it" funny. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» wisp replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 1:09pm |
| Coolness: 97555 | yeah its not funny like, you should try it on my bf funny. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» blop replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 2:14pm |
| Coolness: 200765 | let me get this straight... did someone punch your bf in the eye? cause i'm not quite clear on this yet. shh. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» G__ replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 2:17pm |
| Coolness: 141600 | yes
"1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. " i love it |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Toltech replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 3:04pm |
| Coolness: 145655 | yeah, I should add something like this
"1. If you want the truth, be able to handle the truth.....iss called honesty." hahahaha! what do you all think? |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» G__ replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 3:31pm |
| Coolness: 141600 | hahaha nice |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» daFTWin replied on Tue Aug 12, 2003 @ 3:37pm |
| Coolness: 276670 | pfff my ass.
It should be more like 1. We dont think you can handle the truth and dont wanna risk loosing you because of our stupidness so were just gonna keep lying until eventually you get the truth out of us. thats how it is, we are the inferior species, deal with it. |
The Rules : Men Steez
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