What Makes You Happy
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» cutterhead replied on Fri Apr 24, 2009 @ 3:48pm |
 Coolness: 131725 | Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee drink and we pillage and we do what we please,
we all get what we want for free. We'll kick your ass and rape your lass, Somalian pirates we. So with a yohoho! (yohoho) And with a yeeheehee! (yeeheehee) We take to the African sea, we'll brain(?) the squals and bust your balls, Somalian pirates we. (Somalian pirates we) We left our hopes and we left our mothers to go on a pillaging spree. We'll cut off your ears and break your toes and make you drink our pee. And if you sail into our waters, you best hear this decree. We'll take your boat and set your ass afloat, Somalian pirates we. With a yohoho! (yohoho) And a trickyladido! (trickyladido) We'll shit you in the face with glee. We'll cut oof your cock and feed it to a croc. Somalian pirates we! Somaaaliaaaaaaan piiiiiiiiiraaaaates weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! (Somalian pirates we) |
| I'm feeling snafu right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Corrupter replied on Fri Apr 24, 2009 @ 3:49pm |
 Coolness: 117775 | Yaaaarrg !!  |
| I'm feeling corrupted right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» cutterhead replied on Fri Apr 24, 2009 @ 4:01pm |
| Coolness: 131725 | And now for a special announcement.
Avast there mateys! Do you have a thirst for adventure on the high seas of life? Are ye sick and tired of your parents and teachers telling ye what to do all the time? Then join captain cartman's perfect pirate club! Just imagine it,me hearties! A life without rules,without homework and chores! You can live the pirate's life in somalia,me friends. Even kyle said so. Our first official pirate meet willing be 4:00 p.m.at kevin stoley's house. (At my house? Why my house?) There will be refreshments served! So make sure your mom goes to the grocery store,kevin! So come one,come all. The invitation is open to any student who wants to be a pirate and who isn't jewish,mexican or ginger. And for lunch today,the cafeteria will be serving taco salad or hoagie sandwiches. Thank you. |
| I'm feeling snafu right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Corrupter replied on Fri Apr 24, 2009 @ 5:40pm |
| Coolness: 117775 | yayyyyy !!! |
| I'm feeling corrupted right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» pussyvamp replied on Fri Apr 24, 2009 @ 8:45pm |
 Coolness: 208910 | ravers |
| I'm feeling hardcore vibes right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» ashleypeace replied on Sun Apr 26, 2009 @ 10:24pm |
 Coolness: 77770 | sleep! |
| I'm feeling psytrance! right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nathan replied on Sun Apr 26, 2009 @ 10:26pm |
 Coolness: 166675 | good people. |
| I'm feeling you up right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» ashleypeace replied on Sun Apr 26, 2009 @ 10:30pm |
| Coolness: 77770 | great people :D |
| I'm feeling psytrance! right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» pussyvamp replied on Mon Apr 27, 2009 @ 12:25am |
| Coolness: 208910 | fantastik people |
| I'm feeling hardcore vibes right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nathan replied on Mon Apr 27, 2009 @ 6:47am |
| Coolness: 166675 | voodoo people :p |
| I'm feeling you up right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» ashleypeace replied on Mon Apr 27, 2009 @ 6:52am |
| Coolness: 77770 | beautifull morning |
| I'm feeling psytrance! right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Corrupter replied on Mon Apr 27, 2009 @ 4:33pm |
| Coolness: 117775 | l'été !!!!!! |
| I'm feeling corrupted right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» ashleypeace replied on Mon Apr 27, 2009 @ 8:06pm |
| Coolness: 77770 | so many things :D |
| I'm feeling like a rockstar right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Corrupter replied on Mon Apr 27, 2009 @ 8:11pm |
| Coolness: 117775 | my colors in my profiles ...... so HELL !!!! |
| I'm feeling corrupted right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» ashleypeace replied on Mon Apr 27, 2009 @ 8:12pm |
| Coolness: 77770 | LOL! |
| I'm feeling like a rockstar right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Sparklz replied on Mon Apr 27, 2009 @ 10:24pm |
 Coolness: 113525 | sunshine, beer, cold fruity drinks with umbrellas in them, cupcakes, kittens, new shoes, MUSIC, my friends, and my comforter with my uber soft pillows <333333333 |
| I'm feeling naughty right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Corrupter replied on Tue Apr 28, 2009 @ 12:08am |
| Coolness: 117775 | Hellfire !!!! |
| I'm feeling burned in hell right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» cutterhead replied on Tue Apr 28, 2009 @ 12:17am |
| Coolness: 131725 | satan laugh ! wa-wa-wa-wa
THIS HERE MAKES ME HAPPY : READ ON ........_..._......................................................_..._........ .......((___))....................................................((___))....... .......[ x x ].................cDc communications.................[ x x ]....... ........\. ./......................presents........................\. ./........ ........(` ')......................................................(` ')........ .........(U)........................................................(U)......... ................................HACKING INTO HELL............................... .......................The True Story of Harry Poindexter....................... ..................................by . The Raver................................ ......................>>> A CULT Publication......1988 <<<...................... ........................-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-........................ _______________________________________________________________________________ This file was originally put out by The Lords of Twilight. With its re-release, cDc comm. is quite orgasmic to announce The Raver's unceasing fulfillment as a child of the Cow. -SR _______________________________________________________________________________ In the Beginning... The house was as silent as the moon was bright that dark, perilous night back in December. The living room was dark...the stairs, equally so. Surveying the upstairs hall we see that all is dark, save a narrow bar of light escaping under one of the white doors. The faint sound of tapping could be heard... Behind this particular door was the bedroom of a teenage boy. The room's occupant, one Harry Poindexter, was present. He sat in his "self-styled" throne tapping away incessantly at his keyboard. Let us look and see what he is doing... click click click..."Damn!"...click click click... Harry, an accomplished hacker, called himself the Avocado Bandit, in memory of his greatest hero. He was using his Apple IIe to attempt to break into a local system that he had just recently discovered. Here is what his monitor echoed to him... CONNECT Purgatory Systems, Inc. UNIX System V ;login: _ What utter melancholy thoughts draped this young boy's mind. He had been trying to gain access for the last six hours. Thoughts of getting a super- user account and the powers he could wield brought him to the brink of orgasm. "I must succeed," thought Harry, "I will succeed ... for I am the Avocado Bandit!" As the last of his default logins failed, he sat back and thought of events that occurred earlier in the day... When he had skipped school so he could log on to all the boards and leave messages about his newest victories, when he called his poor mother a worthless dog, when he sullenly apologized a half hour later and went to the grocery store with her so he could get some "Mr. T Cereal", and when he set up a conference with some of his "k-phriends" so that they could exchange codes and info. He told AE to autodial the number again and resumed his task with a renewed vigor. This time when the login prompt appeared, he felt a cold chill and a single word materialized in his cranial passages ... Lucifer. Here is what happened when he logged on again... CONNECT Purgatory Systems, Inc. UNIX System V ;login: lucifer password: _ Getting worried, he hung up and thought. Small beads of sweat appeared on his white fulfillment. Although he had posted logins on boards all over the country he had never actually hacked one out. Nay. He simply "leeched" the logins from other systems and re-posted them saying that he had hacked it. Now he was worried. He had gotten through the first door. Now how to get past the second? "Lucifer," muttered Harry, "What word is akin to that?" "Satan? Belial? Beelzebub?" He dialed the number yet again... CONNECT Purgatory Systems, Inc. UNIX System V ;login: lucifer password: satan Last login: Fri Feb 12 08:05 $ _ "Oh my God," exclaimed Harry Poindexter, "I'm in!" With that, Harry tried the ever-useful who command... $ who am i lucifer tty08 Feb 13 02:06 For the next hour Harry played with the unusual UNIX system. By 3:30 AM he had created himself a super-user account. He hung up and dialed in again to test out his new account... CONNECT Purgatory Systems, Inc. UNIX System V ;login: sammy password: toyz Last login: Sat Feb 13 3:24 $ _ "Man," exclaimed Harry, "That's so K!" He hung up and went downstairs to the kitchen. His rummaging around in the refrigerator woke his mother up. She came downstairs in her bathrobe and went to the kitchen... "What are you doing, young man," she exclaimed. "You know it's way past your bedtime." "But mom," whined Harry, "I'm just getting some Kudos and a glass of milk." Harry poured his milk into his Superman glass and listened intently to his mother. "Son, it's 3:30 in the morning. Why don't you eat your snack, wash and brush, and go to bed. Please, son," pleaded his mother. "Okay, mom," said Harry, the resentment in his voice plain as day. With that his mother went back upstairs. A few minutes later Harry went back up to his room (which he called Pirate's Zone) and sat down on his bed to munch upon his Kudos and milk. After he was done eating, he set the dishes down in the corner and lifted up the mattress of his bed and retrieved a ragged, dog-eared issue of Penthouse. He sat in his bed and tossed off for a while. When he was done he just looked at the pictures for a while and wished that he could kiss a girl... He then fell into a deep sleep, his light and computer still on. The Next Day Is Not Always Brighter... On Sunday, Harry awoke with a start. He had had raving nightmares all night. In one particularly horrifying episode he had dreamed that he was tied and bound to a post on a ledge far above a vast cavern. Filling the cavern were hundreds upon hundreds of demons. In front of him was a large iron anvil and his limp cock was tied to it with a thong of black leather. In front of his sweaty face dangled a microphone with a small ID badge on it. The badge read "HBC Radio 666". He looked around the cavern. The reddish glow horrified him the most. He whimpered and was shocked to hear that such a small sound echoed throughout the dankness of the cavern at such a high volume. His mortal mind attributed that to the microphone that swayed gently before him. His fear grew stronger when he heard the thumping of footsteps to his right. He looked over his shoulder and saw a demon approaching him. The demon had the torso of a man and the legs of a goat. It had a pentacle burned into its hairy chest and wore both a headsman's mask and a necklace of linked golden discs. The masses cheered as this executioner approached poor Harry. Harry was confused and bewildered, that is until he saw what the demon cum executioner carried, a large sledge hammer. Harry glanced down at his dongle and choked back a scream. The masses were going crazy as the executioner hefted the sledgehammer up high. Harry screamed as the sledgehammer connected with his cock. That was when Harry awoke with a start... His mother was calling to him, telling him to come downstairs to eat his breakfast. Harry got up and slinked over to his computer, clutching at his crotch all the way. On the screen was printed something that horrified him. Here is what Harry saw on his monitor... Did you enjoy your nap? We're waiting for you to come and visit us..._ Harry stifled a gasp and flipped the ON/OFF switch at the back of his Apple. The monitor shimmered, flickered, and then went blank. Harry ran downstairs to eat his breakfast... When Harry had finished filling his stomach with eggs and pancakes we ambled back upstairs to get ready for church. He undressed and hopped into the shower. He liked to pretend that it was the transporter chamber on the U.S.S. Enter- prise^^ on StarTrek. As he turned on the water he heard a chilling voice... "Ready to beam down...energizing..." As Harry shrieked the water turned a crimson hue and he passed out. When he awoke he was in fetters and chains and naked as could be. He tried to hide his "manhood" as he stood before the great, iron-wrought throne of Satan, Lord of Hell. Satan smiled at him... all Harry could do was whimper. As Harry stood there, cringing before the might of Satan, he tried not to think of the dreams he had had the night before... Into the Lungs of Hell... "You are a pitiful sight, mortal. Had you not hacked your way onto one of my UNIX systems I might never have known of you," said Satan, "but the things that you have done to my Purgatory are great indeed. Do you know what trouble you have caused, boy?" A tear streamed down Harry's cheek, "But all I did was to create a super-user account. Honest. I swear to God...ulp." Satan bellowed forth with an intensity that shook the very foundations of this text file... rumble... rumble... rumble... "Enough!" screamed Satan. "I sentence you to never-ending aeons of punishment and torture! You will forever wish to die! Just when it appears that your mortal body can no longer take the punishment I shall give it you will be healed. Thus you will never die! In fact, I bequeath upon you that which man has sought for all eternity... immortality!" And with a mere flick of Satan's taloned hand Harry instantaneously reappeared elsewhere in Hell... Harry was sweating profusely when he found out what kind of predicament he was in. Lying on his back, the warm and rocky floors of Hell gave him little com- fort. He was still naked and he was in a spread-eagle position, hand and foot bound to an iron stake firmly implanted in the barren floor. High in the dim, reddish skies of Hell circled several vultures, eaters of carrion. He could hear the screams of anguish of his "neighbors". What was his fate? Less than a score of minutes later the punishment that Satan had ordered was brought down on him, never to cease. Four imps of Hell fluttered over on their small, membraneous wings. They landed to his sides and snickered in their evil and high-pitched voices. One of them grinned and bit his leg. Harry screamed. The gaping wound in his left thigh seemed a well of crimson. But as Harry was experiencing the pain of such a wound it miraculously healed up. Harry, fulfillment' no longer in pain from the bite, was still screaming his lungs out... It was then that another of the imps assaulted him. This one raised his iron pitch fork up high in the air and brought it downwards, mercilessly grinding its three forked points into Harry's crotch. The screams filled the air, the gore and blood welled, all to no avail. For as soon as the damage was done the wound healed itself back up. The Light is Always Darkest at the End of the Tunnel... Thus was Harry's fate sealed for all eternity. But what of his poor mother, you ask? Quite simply answered, friend. When she heard Harry's shriek while he was in the shower she ran upwards to see what was wrong. When she got to the shower where Harry had been she was greeted by an unpleasant sight. The body of Harry (or rather an imitation thereof, for the real Harry was in Hell) lay over the drain. His body was covered in lacerations and blood was splashed all over the place. And right in the middle of his forehead stuck out the handle of a knife, the blade buried deep within his cranium. Mrs. Poindexter screamed only once before she died of massive heart palpitations. Thus ends our wonderful excursion into the Lower Infernal Regions. Join me next time when we experience more demonic slaughter... =============================================================================== (c)1988 cDc communications by The Raver 2/25/88-47 All Rights Worth Shit |
| I'm feeling snafu right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» ashleypeace replied on Tue Apr 28, 2009 @ 6:58am |
| Coolness: 77770 | lucky charms |
| I'm feeling like a rockstar right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» MolocH replied on Tue Apr 28, 2009 @ 9:49am |
 Coolness: 226405 | The smell of napalm in the morning. |
| I'm feeling human candles right now.. | |
What Makes You Happy
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