How To How To Be A Drum & Bass Junglist
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nitrous_N2O replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 11:51am |
 Coolness: 125575 | How to How to be a drum & bass Junglist
Kids, worried that scary junglists will show you the screwface when you step inside the dance? Don't worry, as these style tips will help you fit in, and soon you'll be begging for Grooverider to rewind 'the Odyssey' just like everybody else. Bo! Steps 1. Boys: shave your head. It will better accentuate your fierce scowl and, if you like drumfunk, hide your imminent balding. Also, don't forget to grow a soul patch. 2. Girls: doesn't matter what your hair looks like. You will be heavily outnumbered and therefore in high demand. If you should find this is not the case, post a picture of yourself on a D&B message board, and watch the replies roll in. Hint: your acne and fat-ass are meaningless in the dnb world. 3. Clothes for boys: include hoodies, t-shirts and baggy trousers , no matter what style of D&B you prefer. Alternatively, if you and your crew all reach the club wearing rockports and burberry caps, the DJ will probably play some hilarously-titled wobble tune for you, and rewind it five times. Proper, proper, proper. 4. Clothes for girls: see number 2. Just make sure that it's obvious you are a girl. 5. Rewinds: if you particularly appreciate the DJ's selection, make a funny gun-shape with your fingers and shout at him/her. Do not do this in any other circumstance, or it might lead to trouble. In any case, the DJ will undoubtedly rewind the biggest tunes anyway, even if the crowd were to sit there in stony-faced silence. 6. Your upbringing: Even if you grew up riding ponies and shooting peasants on an estate in Buckinghamshire, or eating grilled-cheese in a trailer in Kansas, you still have bare love for all the mans in Brixton town. Practice teeth-sucking. Represent. 7. Mock everything. 8. Your musical background: you were born into this world to the sound of 'Amen Brother' by The Winstons, the mobile hanging above your cot was built by King Tubby, and you were the first kid at school to own signed copies of albums by NWA, 2Pac and Demon Boyz. The copies of "Please Hammer Don't Hurt Em" and the first Ugly Kid Joe album must have appeared in your record collection by mistake. 9. If you're from the UK, you have been around since day one, cause we invented this music, OK? If you're from the U.S., you heard it on a mixtape in the mid-nineties, and don't forget we invented hip-hop, you busted-teeth haters. If you're from anywhere else: STFU. 10. Everything started in 1992. That's all anyone cares about. 11. say any of the following in a sentence: "Seen, innit, mate, oi, innit, oi,oi, oi, ello, hello, seen" automatically qualifies you as a junglist too. congratulations. Tips * Whatever you do, pay close attention to whatever style it is currently trendy to claim influenced you to begin listening to drum and bass. This varies as rapidly as the British weather, so watch out. A sudden switch in the mood of D&B could leave your knoweldge of the lyrics to 'Incredible' looking rather old hat. Likewise, the inexplicable nostalgia for mid-nineties techstep may die a death very soon. In 2005, you will invariably be down with the "liquidy dub" styles. * If in doubt, you and your bredren hung out at Speed, but you met your current crew on teh dancefloor at the Blue Note in '95. * Be sure and put down anyone that doesnt roll with your kru even if (esp. if) they are into the same things you are. You want to make sure that everyone knows your are the original elite junglist Example: Some guy says he likes an artist who's music you've included in a mix. Immedietly tell him how wack he is and that said artist was a lot cooler a few years ago. * Even if you are paralysed from the neck down, front like you are a DJ waiting for your big break. You have an enormous collection of dubplates back at the lab (ie. your mum's gaff, where you are known as "Raymond" rather than "RuffJunglist92") and have mastered a triple drop with the three most obscure Metalheadz b-sides outside of London. In reality, you have spent the last three years vainly attempting to beatmatch 'Bad Ass' with 'Bodyrock' in preparation for the day Helter Skelter call you because Nicky Blackmarket has a flat tire on his BMW. * Be sure to flex your internet gangsta abilities at any given moment; be sure to reference commonly used Internet Relay Chat channels as who you rep: case in point #iamdnb, #dnbmonstertrux-- for the young ones being tuff please start in rooms like #dnbcarebears. * Be ready to use the term "roller" as if you actually know what it refers to. * Clownstep is in the eye of the beholder - don't be afraid to deploy this term against any artist who dares to play any tune that offends you and your spotty, virgin mates hanging out at the back of the club. Maybe a girl will hear you slagging off said big name artist and invite herself back to your flat to debate the merits of the No U-Turn back catalogue. Alternatively, you could just slag said artist on the DOA forum and be forced into an embarassing climbdown when they threaten you with a kicking after somebody forwards them your post. * Junglists constantly design record sleeves/name labels after special forces/modern day wartime references, but dont let this fool you, anything other than a staunch liberal stance on any issue is not acceptable. Warnings * I'm shutting you down! Where's my 20% ? * When Grooverider waves his flag... duck? * Quit hating - it's bad for your health. * Andy C will always be voted Nr. 1 DJ on the Drum & Bass Arena.* * If you are ever caught posting on the DNBArena msgboard, you will be regarded to as 'batty'. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» blop replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 12:07pm |
 Coolness: 200680 | 12) only wear camo. every item of clothing you own must have some camo on it. this is how people will know you're a junglist massive bibbitybo.
13) be incredibley pretentious, all the time. talk about respect a lot, even when you're not talking about anything at all. respect! 14) make fun of anyone who quotes freaky flow's infamous drive through track. cause it's like.. SO 2000. 15) pretend to know the difference between good dnb and bad dnb. when you hear good dnb say ill, mad, or bomb. 16) when promoting your own event in a thread on the internet, try to continue a dialogue between your fellow promoter with one wordbigups. this can go on for pages. bo! can't wait! yes! see you there! massive! rrrrespect! try to include a wide array of smiley faces. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» El_Presidente replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 12:20pm |
 Coolness: 299475 | 16) when promoting your own event in a thread on the internet, try to continue a dialogue between your fellow promoter with one wordbigups. this can go on for pages. bo! can't wait! yes! see you there! massive! rrrrespect! try to include a wide array of smiley faces.
Sharon you just made my day! Biggup to that! :) |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nitrous_N2O replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 12:22pm |
| Coolness: 125575 | eh eh good follow-up |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Bunnytronix replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 12:37pm |
 Coolness: 152660 | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nitrous_N2O replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 12:39pm |
| Coolness: 125575 | Bo ! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» cactain_steef replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 12:59pm |
 Coolness: 154825 | selektah brrrbopbopbop gwan seen? |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Mico replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 1:15pm |
 Coolness: 150610 | Big up yo' Chest! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Mali replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 2:05pm |
 Coolness: 202265 | brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrboppppppppbrrrrrrrop!!!!!!! or whatever that Andrew says |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Suckballs_bebe replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 2:15pm |
 Coolness: 66635 | I own limited edition camoe steez phat farm high tops!
brop brop guyyyyyy. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Suckballs_bebe replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 2:16pm |
| Coolness: 66635 | ps, guys sporting doggy tags are hot. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PitaGore replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 2:42pm |
 Coolness: 471955 | thats cool this one's a joke
but anyways seriously ; most junglists are assholes |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nitrous_N2O replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 3:00pm |
| Coolness: 125575 | I wanna see those limited edition camoe steez phat farm high tops |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Bunnytronix replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 3:00pm |
| Coolness: 152660 | who is the premier indian dnb dj?
ghandi c who is iraqs premier dnb dj? saddam f [ www.streamload.com ] |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» clown replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 3:14pm |
 Coolness: 221915 | ATTEND THE IDJ EVENTS TO BECOME A TRUE JUNGLIST.. ;) |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 3:23pm |
 Coolness: 685740 | seen. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» basdini replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 4:36pm |
 Coolness: 145350 | damn i hate jungle,
to bad i love iDJ |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Mico replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 4:47pm |
| Coolness: 150610 | Originally posted by PRO PAIN...
who is the premier indian dnb dj? ghandi c who is iraqs premier dnb dj? saddam f Haha! Seen? |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PitaGore replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 6:29pm |
| Coolness: 471955 | hilarious one Simon tha Lion :lol
idj features drum&bass-jungle music ; but all sorts of peeps , not only straight junglists |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PitaGore replied on Thu Feb 24, 2005 @ 6:29pm |
| Coolness: 471955 | premier chinese drum&bass dj ?
Woni Sang |
How To How To Be A Drum & Bass Junglist
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