My Wife Left Me Because The Dolphins At Sea World Gave Me An Erection
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Holly_Golightly replied on Thu Jul 17, 2008 @ 8:43pm |
 Coolness: 158745 | I thought I could reunify the family with a trip to the aquarium -- but after my mishap, she kicked me out.
July 15, 2008 | Dear Cary, Two weeks ago I took my wife and kids on a vacation to Sea World. It was the first thing we had done as a family since my wife and I decided to give our marriage another shot, and things seemed to be going pretty smoothly. We were all just so happy to be a family again. You should have seen the looks on my kids' faces when we told them that I was moving back home; it was like watching them open gifts on Christmas morning. My wife and I were happy too. We had finally turned a corner, and we'd started making progress. We were going to couples therapy and all that jazz. We had decided, though, to hold off on the lovemaking for a while until we felt comfortable being physical with each other again. Anyway, we were all at Sea World and it was hotter than hell, so we decided to go to a show to cool off for a while. It was one of those shows where the dolphins jump up and do tricks and then the big killer whale splashes everybody with water. And at this show I started watching the dolphins jump around, and it just captivated me. I admired their soft slippery skin. It was just so exotic; I had never felt that way before. Looking at those soft underbellies and long slender fins was like seeing the face of God. I came out of my dolphin-induced trance and wiped the sweat from my brow. It was then that I realized that I had an aching erection. I became alarmed, but that only made it throb harder. For the entire rest of the show I tried my damnedest to keep my arousal in check, but every glance I took at the cetaceans in the pool below induced a surge of hormones from my perspiring testicles. When the show ended and my erection still hadn't subsided, I began to panic, because soon we would have to stand up to leave, then my family would see my shame. So when people began to stand, I stayed put. "Daddy, let's go," my kids said. "Just a minute," I said. "Daddy has to rest for a minute." "James, you've been sitting the whole show. The kids want to see the shark exhibit," my wife said. "I know, honey. Just give me a minute," I pleaded. "James, are you OK?" she asked. "Yeah, I'm fine." I could feel the sweat streaming down my face, and I was sure that my eyes looked glazed over. My wife came and sat down next to me to try to comfort me. "Honey, what's the matter? You look -- " She stopped when she saw the bulge in my pants. "Is that ..." The look in my eye must have said it all. I gave a look back at the pool, and she must have understood because she stood up and addressed the children. "Let's go on ahead, kids, Daddy's not feeling well." Then she looked back at me with venom in her eyes and said, "He's sick." Eventually the erection subsided and I met them back at the car. None of us spoke the entire ride home. When we got home my wife simply packed two suitcases for me and told me to leave. There was no use in saying sorry. So right now I'm living down at the Super 8 Motel and I'm afraid. I'm afraid for my marriage, I'm afraid for my kids, and I'm afraid for myself. I just keep thinking about that day and I wonder what I've become. PLEASE HELP! Roy |
| I'm feeling hitched right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Strik_IX replied on Thu Jul 17, 2008 @ 8:51pm |
 Coolness: 88650 | Ouch! Damn that sucks for him... But that dolphin arousal part is quite bizarre. |
| I'm feeling dancehall thrilla right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Thu Jul 17, 2008 @ 8:57pm |
 Coolness: 685600 | maybe he just finally found his porpoise in life?
 |
| I'm feeling sick like a dog right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PaLy replied on Thu Jul 17, 2008 @ 11:40pm |
 Coolness: 51730 | porpoise as in purpose :P that was kinda cute though! |
| I'm feeling w00t! right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» MolocH replied on Thu Jul 17, 2008 @ 11:52pm |
 Coolness: 226285 | Best story ever.
Even tough I met a drunk psychiatrist who told me about this guy having actual sex with dolphins he took care of. AND HIS FUCKING WIFE JOINED HIM. Anyways, sick story. Strik-9 actully knows thw psychiatrist involed. Just because he worked at saine with her, )hehe expectiong a pv reply from Pat anytime now... P.S: Patm you ass-clown, when are you gonna accept the honor for me to cook food for yoo. .. |
| I'm feeling "10:12. press return right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» rawali replied on Fri Jul 18, 2008 @ 5:46am |
 Coolness: 140695 | how the fuck do you fuck a dolphin... what the fuck |
| I'm feeling dope right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Samwise replied on Fri Jul 18, 2008 @ 7:33am |
 Coolness: 133035 | wow...
well... although its kinda twisted to get a boner over a dolphin exibit, seriously... if the wife truly wanted to give their marriage another shot, she would've at least gave him a chance to explain himself and if the guy was smart, he would've come up with a "it reminded me of your curves of back in the days, bla bla bla..." so it probably would've went smoothly and poof! marriage AND sex life would be back on track. or may be that episode was just the perfect excuse she was waiting for to dump him and get child support without feeling guilty about it... who knows? in any case: poor guy :/ |
| I'm feeling wemf!! right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» ufot replied on Fri Jul 18, 2008 @ 9:02am |
 Coolness: 93110 | Originally Posted By RAWALI
how the fuck do you fuck a dolphin... what the fuck pffft... through their blow holes, obviously... Ufot-aheh, your sick man... no no, like you are a sick man... ohhhh..... |
| I'm feeling lies wif da hax!! right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Rakoon replied on Fri Jul 18, 2008 @ 9:05am |
 Coolness: 175450 | Please! Don't make that thread a whale penis thread :D |
| I'm feeling yaaaaaay! right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Fri Jul 18, 2008 @ 9:08am |
| Coolness: 685600 | What's wrong with whale penis?
 |
| I'm feeling sick like a dog right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» kwickStah replied on Fri Jul 18, 2008 @ 9:49am |
 Coolness: 65555 | Loll Julien!! If the guy was smart, y dira pas sa m'a rappeller les curves de back in the days it can be worst... what does it mean about her curves now. y aurait été mieux de dire que y regardait pas le show mais qui pensait a elle tout le long. |
| I'm feeling dizzy right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PonChalice replied on Fri Jul 18, 2008 @ 10:46am |
 Coolness: 76265 | lol!
"Dear Carey, ..." thats some top trolling |
| I'm feeling emboldened right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» v.2-1 replied on Sat Jul 19, 2008 @ 12:58pm |
 Coolness: 159130 | It's a bit harsh. Any man will tell you : in times of physical effort or anything else that raises blood pressure, you may get an erection. It's a bit normal seeing as how the penis gets hard through blood engorgement.
The guy did mention he was hot as hell, something else that raises blood pressure. As for the wife, well, if she feels her marriage is threatened by a boner ( towards dolphins, of all things ), she needs counselling too. :) |
| I'm feeling dancehall thrilla right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Holly_Golightly replied on Sat Jul 19, 2008 @ 1:17pm |
| Coolness: 158745 | believe me i would feel threatened by my husband's boner towards dolphins. but hey, i need therapy. |
| I'm feeling hitched right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Sat Jul 19, 2008 @ 1:19pm |
| Coolness: 685600 | You ALL need therapy!
|
| I'm feeling sick like a dog right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» MURDOCK_ROCK replied on Sat Jul 19, 2008 @ 1:41pm |
 Coolness: 83885 | whatever...
i get boners for everything. fried chicken, camper vans, hedge hogs etc. it doesn't mean i wanna fuck those things.... does it? |
| I'm feeling republican right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» GODISDEAD_ replied on Sat Jul 19, 2008 @ 1:51pm |
 Coolness: 77300 | yes.
i think it might. |
| I'm feeling nkotb right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Strik_IX replied on Sat Jul 19, 2008 @ 1:57pm |
| Coolness: 88650 | What about pogos, do those give you an erection? |
| I'm feeling dancehall thrilla right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» v.2-1 replied on Sat Jul 19, 2008 @ 2:02pm |
| Coolness: 159130 | Originally Posted By STRIK_IX
What about pogos, do those give you an erection? Oh. Tough one. |
| I'm feeling dancehall thrilla right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Rakoon replied on Sat Jul 19, 2008 @ 2:30pm |
| Coolness: 175450 | Men are like pogos
Only the real ones have "pogos" writed on the stick! |
| I'm feeling yaaaaaay! right now.. | |
My Wife Left Me Because The Dolphins At Sea World Gave Me An Erection
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