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Eight Things To Look For In A Partner
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Fri May 24, 2002 @ 1:02pm |
 Coolness: 2604035 | By Edith Ankersmit Kemp, L.C.S.W., and Jerrold E. Kemp, Ed.D.
You've been single for a while, and you've finally met someone of interest. How do you know if you're destined for a successful relationship? Consider these eight qualities. Empathy Does your partner have the ability to recognize and respond to your feelings? If so, you know you are really being listened to and understood. Can you speak of what bothers you and can your mate listen without being defensive? Is he or she there for you when times get tough or you are depressed? Research shows that knowing how a person reacts when a partner express sadness is the most valuable quality for a lasting relationship. Affection Actions often speak more loudly than words alone. Is your partner comfortable touching you? Can kisses be gentle at times, passionate at others? Can your mate accept your touch and kisses? Does the tone of his or her voice and the look in his or her eyes express affection? Does your partner do thoughtful things for you? Is kidding done lovingly rather than with hostility? Sexuality For a man, increasing age may mean a less firm erection and a longer arousal time, and a woman may have problems with vaginal dryness. But sexual satisfaction can be obtained despite these limitations. Are your preferences and desires important to your partner? Is he or she both tender and passionate? Playful? Inventive? Can you both talk freely about sex? Can your mate accept "no" when youÍre not in the mood? Reliability and Honesty Can you count on your partner? When he or she says that something will get done, does it get done promptly? A person with a passive-aggressive personality will promise to do a task, then put it off indefinitely. It is more honest to say, "I donÍt want to." Is your mate there for you in good times and bad? If you choose to remain together for many years, do you feel certain that he or she will care for you as you age? The answer to this last question will come to you gradually as your relationship develops. Neatness No two individuals have the same degree of neatness. As you visit each otherÍs homes, observe how your habits differ. How critical are you of the otherÍs habits -- and vice versa -- and how do you each respond to criticism? What accommodations can you make together? If you donÍt like the way he or she washes the dishes, for example, it might be best to wash them yourself. Your partner could then do another chore, thus avoiding a power struggle. The two of you can negotiate, but acceptance of each otherÍs ways is primary. Intellectual and Social Competency When you first meet someone, it is not too difficult to know if that person is intellectually stimulating. Does he or she hold your interest during a conversation, or do you find your mind wandering? Does he or she talk too much, particularly about himself or herself? The ability to listen is important. Also consider how well you interact with each other's family and friends. Are you proud to be with himor her? No couple is an island unto themselves. An interesting social life adds greatly to a relationship. Financial Security Finances might not be discussed early in your relationship, but it should not be too difficult to ascertain an individualÍs financial situation. Are you willing to accept a partner less well-off than yourself? Fairly early on, discuss how expenses for entertainment will be shared. Somewhat later, you might bring up travel and household expenses. Eventually, the question of inheritance must be examined. What will you leave to each other, and what to your children? Honest and frank discussions of this important issue are needed throughout your partnership. Acceptance of Your Children And are you comfortable with your partner's children? Getting along with each otherÍs kids -- and their acceptance of your partnership -- is important in a successful relationship. Communicate with your children as your union develops, and arrange pleasant activities together. Do not surprise them by suddenly announcing that you are living with or marrying someone new to them. If a child does not accept your new partner at first, remember that this may take time. Above all, loyalty to your new relationship should be primary. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» daFTWin replied on Fri May 24, 2002 @ 2:43pm |
 Coolness: 276485 | oh yea im reaaallly comfortable with my partners kids : .. that articles for like divorced people with children who want to start dating again but make sure they get it right this time.. noah ur silly |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Wed May 29, 2002 @ 3:59pm |
| Coolness: 2604035 | You and therry are almost married... The honeymoon is commin' soon and you'll finally have sex! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» daFTWin replied on Wed May 29, 2002 @ 4:18pm |
| Coolness: 276485 | yea and we'll get pat to take pictures and put them up on the net.. you'd like that wouldnt you.. tired of looking at the same one uh... |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» El_Presidente replied on Wed May 29, 2002 @ 4:36pm |
 Coolness: 299375 | honeymoon? :P |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PaT_ replied on Wed May 29, 2002 @ 5:08pm |
 Coolness: 116345 | ya...its when you go to the moon and eat hunny, |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» daFTWin replied on Wed May 29, 2002 @ 7:11pm |
| Coolness: 276485 | *lol* .. pat ur so silly .. well yea what do you usually do after a wedding sweety??.. wait arent I geting married to leelee??? |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» El_Presidente replied on Wed May 29, 2002 @ 7:14pm |
| Coolness: 299375 | sex? |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» daFTWin replied on Wed May 29, 2002 @ 7:15pm |
| Coolness: 276485 | *looks down at belly button*.. leads to freak child... |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» little_sarah replied on Wed May 29, 2002 @ 7:47pm |
 Coolness: 121490 | if neatness is even an issue, i should become a nun, coz i'll never find anyone ;) |
Eight Things To Look For In A Partner
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