st-leo :P

hehe i'll try, though i'm transit-bound so when the last metro is gone i'd have to be gone with it :)

its not nice to call homeless people pigs. he's a paranoid schizo who used to be homeless but now he's just your common lunatic with access to irc.

oh wow umm.. Fred? whoa.. haha.. whats goin on at cafe chaos.. and when on the weekend?

i wasnt the one who banned him, i dont ban people.
i actually live on the 1st floor not the basement.
i did give credit to the guy (his name was before each one of his statements). i just found it funny/interesting/weird and didnt know what do do with it so might as well post it here since i never post here ever... :)

i go out everyweekend when i dont go to work.
it's not prose. its one of many real life stories from the ircer [Edgar] that i find in my irc buffer when i come back home (he usually goes on rambing alone to himself for most of the early morning when everyone else stops talking until someone bans him)
I actually had to edit this one down because it was preceded by a different (equally long) story about a different subject

[07:08:23] [Edgar]: when i was
[07:08:26] [Edgar]: HOMELESS
[07:08:29] [Edgar]: INSANE
[07:08:32] [Edgar]: HUNGRY
[07:08:35] [Edgar]: DESPERATE
[07:09:04] [Edgar]: in my insanity
[07:09:08] [Edgar]: i had made some "NEW" freinds
[07:09:14] [Edgar]: who were as INSANE or CRAZY as me
[07:09:17] [Edgar]: but thats okay
[07:09:21] [Edgar]: when your insane and crazy
[07:09:27] [Edgar]: you look at the world DIFFRENTLY
[07:09:35] [Edgar]: ..
[07:09:39] [Edgar]: so there was this homeless guy
[07:09:42] [Edgar]: who always seemed to be
[07:09:46] [Edgar]: where ever i was
[07:09:50] [Edgar]: sorta spooky
[07:09:55] [Edgar]: but i called him "MUMBLES"
[07:10:00] [Edgar]: mainly because he didnt talk
[07:10:06] [Edgar]: he just wandered around MUMBLING
[07:10:11] [Edgar]: but no matter how far i walked
[07:10:15] [Edgar]: or where i went that day
[07:10:22] [Edgar]: he would almost always
[07:10:24] [Edgar]: weridly
[07:10:27] [Edgar]: seem to be in the same place
[07:10:30] [Edgar]: right ahead or right behind me
[07:10:33] [Edgar]: MUMBLING away
[07:10:38] [Edgar]: ..
[07:10:42] [Edgar]: i dont know if mumbles even spoke english
[07:10:49] [Edgar]: but its not something i really questioned
[07:10:54] [Edgar]: after all at the time i was INSANE and CRAZY
[07:10:54] [Edgar]: ..
[07:11:06] [Edgar]: i was pretty good freinds with MUMBLES
[07:11:15] [Edgar]: for as much a freind you could be with somebody
[07:11:21] [Edgar]: who didnt speak just sorta MUMBLED
[07:11:32] [Edgar]: but as a homeless person
[07:11:37] [Edgar]: you do ALOT OF WALKING
[07:11:42] [Edgar]: after all you dont have a home
[07:11:47] [Edgar]: and you always need things
[07:11:49] [Edgar]: that you find in a home
[07:11:51] [Edgar]: like food or what not
[07:11:53] [Edgar]: ..
[07:11:56] [Edgar]: and you cant even get water locally
[07:12:01] [Edgar]: because eventaully you get /banned
[07:12:07] [Edgar]: from every where thats walking distance
[07:12:12] [Edgar]: and since you still want a "HOME"
[07:12:15] [Edgar]: or a place to return to
[07:12:20] [Edgar]: the longer your homeless
[07:12:24] [Edgar]: the farther and father you have to walk
[07:12:29] [Edgar]: just to get the basic essentials
[07:12:33] [Edgar]: like food.. and water.. and stuff like that
[07:12:34] [Edgar]: ..
[07:12:41] [Edgar]: so my HOMELESS home at the time
[07:12:47] [Edgar]: was this abandoned bank
[07:12:51] [Edgar]: pretty nifty actaully
[07:12:55] [Edgar]: it was probably built in the 50's
[07:13:06] [Edgar]: and abandoned or bankrupt in the 70's or 80's
[07:13:11] [Edgar]: ..
[07:13:15] [Edgar]: so it had OLD FASHIONED security
[07:13:23] [Edgar]: after all banks dont have cameras in the 50's
[07:13:26] [Edgar]: thats TOO HIGH TECH
[07:13:32] [Edgar]: they have SNIPER TOWERS
[07:13:36] [Edgar]: so that when you ROB them
[07:13:39] [Edgar]: they just kill you
[07:13:44] [Edgar]: before you get half way across the parking lot
[07:13:53] [Edgar]: and they pay armed security garuds
[07:13:55] [Edgar]: to sit up there all day
[07:13:58] [Edgar]: in case the bank gets robbed
[07:13:59] [Edgar]: ..
[07:14:01] [Edgar]: real intresting setup
[07:14:06] [Edgar]: it has a (BLUFF) or false wall
[07:14:10] [Edgar]: that looks like its part of the bank
[07:14:15] [Edgar]: then these little SNIPER STEPS
[07:14:23] [Edgar]: like oOo
[07:14:28] [Edgar]: so they can SNIPE ya
[07:14:35] [Edgar]: after you rob their bank
[07:14:40] [Edgar]: plus since the security has to sit up there all day
[07:14:42] [Edgar]: bored to death
[07:14:45] [Edgar]: they have LOCKERS
[07:14:49] [Edgar]: so you can put your clothes and stuff in them
[07:14:54] [Edgar]: or i guess your packed lunch i guess
[07:15:03] [Edgar]: even a drinking foutain in case you get thristy
[07:15:14] [Edgar]: and a bathroom (both are broken)
[07:15:14] [Edgar]: but
[07:15:19] [Edgar]: you can see how it was built
[07:15:21] [Edgar]: as a (SNIPER TOWER)
[07:15:23] [Edgar]: just the way its setup
[07:15:26] [Edgar]: which i found intresting
[07:15:33] [Edgar]: for a bank probably that was built in the 50's
[07:15:34] [Edgar]: ..
[07:15:40] [Edgar]: its got a real clear view
[07:15:42] [Edgar]: of everything around you
[07:15:48] [Edgar]: yet.. is all behind this cement BLUFF
[07:15:58] [Edgar]: that looks like its part of the building
[07:16:03] [Edgar]: rather than covering you sitting on the roof
[07:16:08] [Edgar]: because from the ground
[07:16:10] [Edgar]: it looks like the roof is FLAT
[07:16:16] [Edgar]: but in reality the sniper tower
[07:16:18] [Edgar]: is setup like that
[07:16:28] [Edgar]: so it doesnt look like there are armed security on the roof
[07:16:31] [Edgar]: real smart tech
[07:16:33] [Edgar]: for its time frame i guess
[07:16:34] [Edgar]: ..
[07:16:40] [Edgar]: in any case this bank has been abandoned
[07:16:50] [Edgar]: and some homeless freind of mine
[07:16:53] [Edgar]: figured out this SETUP
[07:16:57] [Edgar]: and arranged some rope
[07:17:00] [Edgar]: on a tree and this and that
[07:17:06] [Edgar]: to get to the top of the bank
[07:17:10] [Edgar]: (how he figured this out is beyond me)
[07:17:12] [Edgar]: but irrelevent
[07:17:16] [Edgar]: i certinly wasnt smart enuf to anyway
[07:17:19] [Edgar]: but for now
[07:17:21] [Edgar]: this was "HOME" for me
[07:17:22] [Edgar]: ..
[07:17:34] [Edgar]: now my freinds got it setup real sweet up top
[07:17:40] [Edgar]: wall to wall capreting and everything
[07:17:45] [Edgar]: like a tree house fort or hut
[07:17:48] [Edgar]: when i say wall to wall
[07:17:52] [Edgar]: i mean ceiling and sides
[07:17:55] [Edgar]: for insulation
[07:18:01] [Edgar]: hes a real construction/carpeter and a half
[07:18:02] [Edgar]: but i admit
[07:18:04] [Edgar]: the sniper tower
[07:18:05] [Edgar]: makes it easy
[07:18:08] [Edgar]: cuz it was already built
[07:18:15] [Edgar]: for gaurds to sit up there all day anyway
[07:18:18] [Edgar]: but making it into a home
[07:18:21] [Edgar]: took a bit of extra work
[07:18:24] [Edgar]: and my homeless frind
[07:18:27] [Edgar]: sorta setup "homeless apts"
[07:18:29] [Edgar]: on that roof
[07:18:33] [Edgar]: for his invited homeless guets
[07:18:37] [Edgar]: which i guess i was lucky enuf to be one
[07:18:38] [Edgar]: ..
[07:18:51] [Edgar]: ok thats irrelevent to this next song and dance
[07:18:55] [Edgar]: so let me try to get to the relevent part of it
[07:18:56] [Edgar]: ..
[07:19:01] [Edgar]: i am homeless
[07:19:06] [Edgar]: but this abandoned bank roof top
[07:19:11] [Edgar]: is still my home for the moment
[07:19:22] [Edgar]: so its my static address i guess
[07:19:28] [Edgar]: at least for these next few months
[07:19:29] [Edgar]: ..
[07:19:39] [Edgar]: now surrounding this bank
[07:19:43] [Edgar]: are lots of resturants and bussinesses
[07:19:46] [Edgar]: never eat where you shit
[07:19:51] [Edgar]: but im new to being homeless
[07:19:53] [Edgar]: i dont know this yet
[07:19:56] [Edgar]: ..
[07:19:59] [Edgar]: so i pan handle locally
[07:20:06] [Edgar]: get aressted and chassed away
[07:20:13] [Edgar]: i try to use the bathroom locally
[07:20:18] [Edgar]: of course im a face they see everyday
[07:20:22] [Edgar]: call the cops and chasse away
[07:20:27] [Edgar]: im also lazy
[07:20:30] [Edgar]: i dont want to walk any further then i have to
[07:20:31] [Edgar]: but..
[07:20:33] [Edgar]: ..
[07:20:37] [Edgar]: i keep getting banned
[07:20:40] [Edgar]: now i cant get water
[07:20:43] [Edgar]: or use the bathroom
[07:20:49] [Edgar]: in a 3 mile radius
[07:20:53] [Edgar]: without risk of getting arrested
[07:20:57] [Edgar]: now the bank is my static home
[07:21:01] [Edgar]: so when i wake up in the morning
[07:21:03] [Edgar]: i gotta make my way
[07:21:05] [Edgar]: 3 miles from home
[07:21:11] [Edgar]: like any other comutter
[07:21:15] [Edgar]: so i can get food. water.. pan handle
[07:21:18] [Edgar]: and i guess back home again to sleep
[07:21:19] [Edgar]: ..
[07:21:29] [Edgar]: since i can walk in any direction
[07:21:31] [Edgar]: in a 3 mile radius
[07:21:34] [Edgar]: to clear my ban zone
[07:21:42] [Edgar]: it doesnt really matter which direction i walk
[07:21:49] [Edgar]: and i rarely walk in the same direction everyday
[07:21:50] [Edgar]: ..
[07:21:54] [Edgar]: so this brings us to MUMBLES
[07:22:01] [Edgar]: maybe i walk 3 miles east today
[07:22:04] [Edgar]: to clear my /BAN zone
[07:22:08] [Edgar]: and waht the fuck
[07:22:12] [Edgar]: is that mumbles diggin thru the trash
[07:22:19] [Edgar]: why the fuck is he this far out here today!?
[07:22:22] [Edgar]: ..
[07:22:24] [Edgar]: so tommrow or a few days later
[07:22:29] [Edgar]: i walk 3 miles NORTH
[07:22:31] [Edgar]: and what do you know
[07:22:35] [Edgar]: man alive its MUMBLES AGAIN!!!
[07:22:40] [Edgar]: how come every where i walk today
[07:22:42] [Edgar]: MUMBLES is already here
[07:22:48] [Edgar]: ..
[07:22:54] [Edgar]: probably cuz he is as banned as me
[07:22:58] [Edgar]: in that 3 mile radius
[07:23:02] [Edgar]: and his home is some where near mine
[07:23:03] [Edgar]: like the bank
[07:23:07] [Edgar]: just some place i cant see
[07:23:09] [Edgar]: but thats irrelevent
[07:23:09] [Edgar]: ..
[07:23:25] [Edgar]: so i run into MUMBLES alot
[07:23:30] [Edgar]: and in sign language
[07:23:32] [Edgar]: we sorta talk
[07:23:35] [Edgar]: mumbles mumbles
[07:23:37] [Edgar]: i ramble
[07:23:41] [Edgar]: and once in a while
[07:23:46] [Edgar]: we share a random facial expression
[07:23:50] [Edgar]: im not saying mumbles is like a dog
[07:23:54] [Edgar]: but its kinda like how a boy behaves with one
[07:23:56] [Edgar]: ..
[07:24:08] [Edgar]: soemtimes mumbles will be real upset
[07:24:13] [Edgar]: and ill try to comfort him
[07:24:16] [Edgar]: but since he doesnt talk
[07:24:20] [Edgar]: all i can do is ramble to him
[07:24:22] [Edgar]: while he MUMBLES
[07:24:25] [Edgar]: sobbing his tears
[07:24:29] [Edgar]: trying to explain something to me
[07:24:31] [Edgar]: which i cant understand
[07:24:34] [Edgar]: but sorta nod and pretend i can
[07:24:35] [Edgar]: ..
[07:24:44] [Edgar]: thats the kinda freinds me and mumbles are i guess
[07:24:49] [Edgar]: mainly we walk together thru the streets
[07:24:52] [Edgar]: me rambling.. him mumbling
[07:24:55] [Edgar]: neither of us paying attention
[07:24:57] [Edgar]: to what the other is saying
[07:25:03] [Edgar]: but thats not why were freinds
[07:25:04] [Edgar]: ..
[07:25:21] [Edgar]: in any case
[07:25:24] [Edgar]: my truck is abandoned
[07:25:30] [Edgar]: about 5 miles down the road
[07:25:33] [Edgar]: becuase im not smart enuf yet
[07:25:36] [Edgar]: to pan handle for gas
[07:25:39] [Edgar]: no money for gas
[07:25:42] [Edgar]: no way to move the truck
[07:25:44] [Edgar]: its just abandoned there
[07:25:46] [Edgar]: out of gas
[07:25:47] [Edgar]: ..
[07:25:58] [Edgar]: in some random doughnut parking lot
[07:26:06] [Edgar]: doubnut store knows who i am
[07:26:09] [Edgar]: sez its cool if i keep my truck there
[07:26:15] [Edgar]: its not like their parking lot is over flowing with customers
[07:26:16] [Edgar]: and well..
[07:26:20] [Edgar]: i dont have proper pan handle skills
[07:26:26] [Edgar]: to get money for gas
[07:26:30] [Edgar]: so that will have to do
[07:26:35] [Edgar]: once in a while ill put a little in the tank
[07:26:42] [Edgar]: to turn it over so the battery doesnt die
[07:26:45] [Edgar]: but i dont have enuf money or skills
[07:26:49] [Edgar]: to move it from the parking lot
[07:26:50] [Edgar]: ..
[07:27:03] [Edgar]: anyway im good freinds with mumbles now
[07:27:06] [Edgar]: good enuf where i can trust him
[07:27:14] [Edgar]: ]so i take him to my abandon truck
[07:27:20] [Edgar]: to show him and stuff
[07:27:23] [Edgar]: which is easy with mumbles
[07:27:27] [Edgar]: because if i walk in one direction he follows
[07:27:33] [Edgar]: if he walks in another direction i follow
[07:27:34] [Edgar]: like a dog
[07:27:38] [Edgar]: we dont need alot of communication
[07:27:40] [Edgar]: ater alll
[07:27:43] [Edgar]: he is always mumbling
[07:27:46] [Edgar]: and im always rambling
[07:27:52] [Edgar]: its not about "LISTENING"
[07:27:55] [Edgar]: me and mumbles dont care
[07:27:57] [Edgar]: about that kinda thing
[07:28:01] [Edgar]: he mumbles to be mumblin
[07:28:04] [Edgar]: i ramble to be rambling
[07:28:09] [Edgar]: and we just enjoy each others company
[07:28:15] [Edgar]: even if neither can understand
[07:28:18] [Edgar]: what the other is saying
[07:28:19] [Edgar]: ..
[07:28:28] [Edgar]: so im gonna take him to my truck today
[07:28:33] [Edgar]: cuz i got about 75 cents
[07:28:36] [Edgar]: and i want to put it in my truck
[07:28:41] [Edgar]: so the battery doesnt go dead
[07:28:44] [Edgar]: with this gas can i got
[07:28:52] [Edgar]: so i fill up the gas can
[07:28:56] [Edgar]: and sorta motion mumbles like lets go man
[07:29:03] [Edgar]: 5 miles down the road
[07:29:06] [Edgar]: to the direction of my truck
[07:29:13] [Edgar]: ..
[07:29:18] [Edgar]: when we get to my truck
[07:29:22] [Edgar]: MUMBLES face just lights up
[07:29:26] [Edgar]: he CANT BELIVE
[07:29:31] [Edgar]: this is *MY* truck
[07:29:36] [Edgar]: as i pour the gas into it
[07:29:40] [Edgar]: hes real IMPRESSED
[07:29:44] [Edgar]: (keep in mind mumbles doesnt talk)
[07:29:49] [Edgar]: so everything is done by facial expression
[07:29:53] [Edgar]: or tone or inflection in his mumbling
[07:29:56] [Edgar]: but i can tell he is IMPRESSED
[07:29:59] [Edgar]: he seems very excited in any case
[07:30:07] [Edgar]: so i ramble explain my situation
[07:30:10] [Edgar]: even thogh i dont even know
[07:30:13] [Edgar]: if m umbles knows english
[07:30:18] [Edgar]: i figure he can make it out
[07:30:23] [Edgar]: by my tone and gesutres
[07:30:25] [Edgar]: just like i do his MUMBLES
[07:30:26] [Edgar]: ..
[07:30:37] [Edgar]: its an intresting realtionship
[07:30:40] [Edgar]: beause me and mumbles
[07:30:43] [Edgar]: never share 2 words of english
[07:30:49] [Edgar]: yet we seem to communicate
[07:30:53] [Edgar]: like homeless cave men just fine
[07:30:54] [Edgar]: ..
[07:31:02] [Edgar]: i dont know what race mumbles is
[07:31:09] [Edgar]: but im pretty certin its not american
[07:31:12] [Edgar]: althogh which i am not sure
[07:31:14] [Edgar]: something european
[07:31:15] *** Mode change "+b *!*@02-165.018.popsite.net" for channel #_ by _ .
[07:31:15] *** [Edgar] has been kicked from _ by _: idiot

i'll be there...
anyone have any ideas how to sneak in cameras? (like all metallica shows, any cameras, tape recorders or camcorders are strictly forbidden)

you'd figure with that amount of money they'd afford a real domain instead of the shitty surf.to crap... i mean even tipsy has his own domain and he spins for booze... ;)
j/k
oh and it's "expensive" btw...