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Electronic Avenue
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» da_instagatah replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:04am |
 Coolness: 144360 | stop changing the name noah!!!!!!!!!! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:05am |
 Coolness: 2604115 | i'm bored... |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Mali replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:05am |
 Coolness: 202245 | I also hate Electronic Avenue too |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» da_instagatah replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:06am |
| Coolness: 144360 | i also like...hmmm...lemme see...ravewave??? |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» neoform replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:11am |
 Coolness: 339795 | Gravewave sounds cool, you could put pictures of dead babies n such.. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:25am |
 Coolness: 685720 | Ian might be onto something here.
And now, to make Noah pee his pants laughing at what I found... (Oh and, btw, Dave, yes it's written by "THE" Mechanix :)) [%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%] [%] [%] [%] TPR/The Phrozen Realm [%] [%] Presents: [%] [%] [%] [%] The complete story of how to [%] [%] become elite in 514. [%] [%] [%] [%] Typed in by: [%] [%] [%] [%] Mechanix [%] [%] [%] [%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%] --------------------------------------------------------------------- NOTE: Even though this file is distributed with HDK #4, it consitutes a serious text, and I will once again stand behind everything said in it. Enjoy. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, this is the first HDK submission printing. I will continue doing this if people send texts in to me. Anyways, enjoy this, but I doubt you will, since most of you will feel especially targeted in this one. And also, no 'flipper' writting in this one, it's meant to be readable. %Introduction: Well, this file goes out to all you so called 514 elites out there. This focuses on you pirates, hackers, phreakers and others who basically have no idea how useless you really are. So if you feel offended by anything you read here, chances are I hit the nail on the head. For the others, keep reading, it should be great fun. %Credit: A lot of credit goes out to the following people and organizations for inspiring me through this text. All users on TPR for helping me make fun of the pirate scene, the Neon Knights, Metal Communications, VAS, and all the other groups who realeased files on the lamers of the world, it was great fun. .-------------------------------------. | The complete history of a 514 elite | `-------------------------------------' Well it all starts out on some special day like christmas. This is when all the little boys and girls get there presents. Well, in this story, let's take the example of a 15 year old boy, and let's call him Max. Ok, so it's december 25th, and Max is so happy, he just got a new computer that his parents gave him for school. It's probably something like an Amiga or IBM PS/1, one of those family packages they advertise on television for an outrageous sum of money. Anwyays, this is where our story starts, because with this nice computer, the company also included a super 2400 baud modem and a set of numbers to call. So Max says: "Woopee! Neeto!" and runs to his room to install his computer. Well after about 9 hours of hard work, the family finally gets the thing working, and Max is left to try out his new toy, since that's all this is for him, a toy. First thing Max does is call up a few of the numbers he got with the modem, most of them being the various Compuserve dialups in the country. So he dials the phone number. It rings, picks up, and Max lifts the phone and starts out: "Hello? Hello? I just got my modem and I..." "Wooosshhhhh", the modem blasts in his ears. Max drops the phone and runs crying to his father. They read the manual together, and Max realises the modem will pick up on it's own. Well, after a few days, Max has spent close to 24 hours a day on Compuserve, and spent close to $500 on his fathers credit card, with CIS billing. But one day, Max gets ahold of his first BBS number, most likely some public domain system that requires membership. So he calls up. Then he gets the all so famous Juxtaposition list. "Wowzerz, this is neet. Look at all the numbers I can call! Yippie!". So Max spends close to four weeks entering the complete Juxtaposition list in his Procomm dialing directory. Of course, the first systems he calls are the ones with 'XXX' in the description. Problem is that once he has all the GIFs, he has nothing left to masturbate on. So he looks for the ones saying 'Games'. "Damn! There aren't many". By this time, school is back on, so Max asks his friends for places to get neeto games for his computer. One of his friends gives him the number to a pirate board. Max can't wait, and almost wets his pants waiting for school to finish so he can go play with his modem. That night, Max dials up the pirate board. "Damn! It's busy". So he leaves the modem on redial for about 2 hours, waiting for it to ring. After 2 hours of staring at the Procomm redial box, it finally rings and connects. Max, once again, almost wets his pants. Soon, the screen clears and he sees: Enter user name or 'NEW' for new users: So Max types in: Enter user name or 'NEW' for new users: 'NEW' Unknown user, you may not access this system. Enter user name or 'NEW' for new users: Anyways, after 3 attempts at typing in 'NEW' with the quotes, he finally tries it without. It works. (It takes a while for the hamster in his head to start turning the wheel). Then he is prompted for a handle, or alias. "Hmmm! This is Neeto! I can use a cool name!". After thinking for 20 minutes, and being logged off for inactivity, he applies as Captain Cool. So then he leaves a new user message: Hey! Hi! This place looks real cool. I got your number from a friend in my class at school! Say's you have NEETO GAMES!!! I want them all! My father just bought me this swell computer! It's the best! I'm sure it's better than what you have! My dad is the best! he has lots of money to get me cool software. So if you want to be my friend, let me have all your games!!!! Captain Cool save end finish help sysop!!!!! Then he hits enter until the maximum number of lines is reached and the message saves itself. Well, most of the time, idiots like this get deleted, but sometimes, the sysop is stupid enough not to care, so they get on. Well Captain Cool calls back every hour until he is finally validated the next day. Then he goes straight to the files. After hitting '?' 300 times to figure out the menus, he downloads everything until his ratio explodes. Then he tries to chat the sysop 8 times for more file ratio, but no response. So he keeps trying to download, but it won't let him. "Daddy!!!! The computer won't give me more games!!!!! Sniff". Then finally, the sysop enters chat: The sysop will chat with you now. Sysop> Yes? CC> Hey! Dude! How come I can't get no more files? I still have 20 minutes left!!! Sysop> You're a 2400 lamer man!!! Get a real modem, and I'll give you no-ratio!!! Anyways, the sysop is as big an idiot as Captain Cool, but I did say this was a pirate board. So Captain Cool goes crying to his father that he has a shit modem, and that he can't play games and all. So his father goes out and shells out $1000 for a 16.8k USR Dual Standard with all the options imaginable. So after this, for a few weeks, Captain Cool roams through the pirate boards, calling others off the bbs list, and leeches his brains out. But now, it's summer, and Captain Cool can spend all day leeching everything he sees. He also posts messages like the following: Hi dudez! It's cool here! So what new games do you guys have?!!? I just got Elite War Beta version 4.3 Full Realease!!! I phoned my friends and they don't have it!! No way!!! It must be new!! And I have it! I'll send it here if one of you wants to trade for something I don't have!!! Please post me lots of mail!!! See ya dudezz!!! Captain Cool. Captain Cool also notices many 'warez' trends out there, and starts to modify his signature accordingly. Here are some of the signatures he goes through in a matter of days: Capatin Cool Kaptain Kool ---==== Kaptain Kool ====---- --=====%%%%>>> KaPTaiN K00L >> ]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» mdc replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:29am |
 Coolness: 148945 | ian.. that last post made me poo my pants |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» da_instagatah replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:35am |
| Coolness: 144360 | i think it should be ragewave |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» caro replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 11:38am |
 Coolness: 152070 | ragewave is like passé
it waqs already once that y cant we stick to ravewave its so simple yet so.........good !hihi! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Ama_ replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 11:41am |
| Coolness: 45645 | what a dumb idea. keep changing. it's funny. i laugh. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» caro replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 11:46am |
| Coolness: 152070 | dumb idea.....??...:(
i like ravewave it seems more real |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» da_instagatah replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 12:57pm |
| Coolness: 144360 | i like ragewave or ravewave personally |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Nuclear replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:13pm |
| Coolness: 2604115 | I think I'm the only one to read the whole story... XON/XOFF was the first bbs I called with MOD files ;)... After that is was all over... Now I have 75000+ modules... |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» G__ replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:15pm |
| Coolness: 141495 | you should make
Refugee Allstars - Electronic Avenue this sites theme for the time being |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:19pm |
| Coolness: 685720 | I downloaded most of my old mods from the House of the Rising Sun... :)
Put those mods online! :) I wanna remix! :P |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» OMGSTFUDIEPLZKTX replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:25pm |
| Coolness: 66645 | NOAH
CHANGE THE TITLE TO DIGITAL CAFE BBS!!!!!!! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» little_sarah replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 1:45pm |
 Coolness: 121570 | i like it *dances* "we gonna rock down to electric avenue, and then we take it higher" |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» G__ replied on Thu May 22, 2003 @ 2:06pm |
| Coolness: 141495 | that's what i likes to...have... seen, typed???
yeah...gettin' jiggy wit it NAW NAW NAW NAW NAWNAWNAW |
Electronic Avenue
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