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Dealing With Failing
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» greatjob replied on Wed May 27, 2009 @ 3:22pm
greatjob
Coolness: 282560
Has anyone here failed at something they're passionate about, in school or anywhere else?
Someone close to me is having trouble coping with failing an important course.

What can I do to help them get their mind off it?
Thanks
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Blisss replied on Wed May 27, 2009 @ 3:36pm
blisss
Coolness: 129825
Tell him to study harder next time or maybe get a tutor

He can probably take the course again, definitely not the end of the world
I'm feeling sunshine right now..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» greatjob replied on Wed May 27, 2009 @ 3:37pm
greatjob
Coolness: 282560
an assignment wasn't handed in to the teachers standards, and she failed by 5%
the teacher is also vindictive
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Daf replied on Wed May 27, 2009 @ 3:43pm
daf
Coolness: 185460
outch

i don't think there is something to do or to say to that person who goes through this

since she probably won't hear it

just like when you lose someone you love and someone tries to cheer you up saying there are plenty others. they are right, but it doesn't change the fact that the pain you feel in the present is unbearable and because of that you don't give a shit what that person as to say.

so the best thing i think there is to do is to push her to do it again, since she failed just by 5% it's clear that she can succeed in that domain if she gave it another try
I'm feeling kiss me, im shitface right now..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» greatjob replied on Wed May 27, 2009 @ 3:46pm
greatjob
Coolness: 282560
It's a sad day, i'll tell you that
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Gamos replied on Wed May 27, 2009 @ 4:21pm
gamos
Coolness: 93600
I fail all the time. Heres a sampling, followed by a conclusion. :)

(1) I remember once I was cut from a competitive hockey team. I was so excited I got an invite to tryout that summer. I trained for 3 months for the tryouts. And then they came. The initial round was ok, I was decent and competitive. And then the first round of cuts came and I survived, so I was optimistic. But, after those cuts I quickly realised was totally out of my league - I was by far the shittiest player left on the team. I was obviously going to get cut in round 2. So everyday I would come to camp knowing I was eventually going to get cut, and basicly working my ass off for no reason.

I remember at the end of one practice, we had to do this drill where it was like crawling in push-up position from one end to the other. It was fucking brutal - I finsihed like 1 minute after everyone else, and was exhausted by the end of it. And just as I crossed the goal line and was ready to collapse the coach was like "OK now everyone go back again." It took me so long to finish, that they had a water break while I was finishing it.

And then finally when the 2nd round of cuts come, the coach called me to his office and was like "Have a seat. Yeah...you know what? When its all said and done, making this team doesn't really matter. But when your willing to work that hard knowing it won't change the outcome...it builds character. Never forget that. You amazed the entire coaching staff the way you never quit. If you apply that kind of work ethic to everything in life...one day, you'll be something special." And then he gave me my release papers. I dont think the fail hurt any less, but I moved on pretty quick after that. I gave it everythign I had.

(2) The first time I fell in love was an epic fail that I never want to relive. It was the worst experience in my life. I hated and blamed everyone for the way it worked out. The truth is that I was entirely at fault, but didnt want to face it.

(3) In my 2nd year of undergraduate studies, I got 26% in a core Organic Chemistry course. It was probably the single best thing to ever happen in my life...it woke me the fuck up.

Failing sucks. Theres nothing anyone can really say to make you feel better. The only things you can take consolidation in is:
(a) knowing that you left nothing on the table and had nothing left to give
or
(b) using the fail as motivation to make yourself a stronger (harder, better, faster) person when you pull yourself up from the ashes.

Given that (a) is an ex-ante behavior, the only way one is going to feel better is by using the fail as a catalyst to change your life for the better. And that comes from within when instead looking outward you look inward.
I'm feeling so long dental plan right now..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» v.2-1 replied on Wed May 27, 2009 @ 4:27pm
v.2-1
Coolness: 159225
Originally Posted By GAMOS

I fail all the time.


Well, at least you're open about that. :)

Being honest : WIN !
I'm feeling skate 2 right now..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Wizdumb replied on Wed May 27, 2009 @ 5:19pm
wizdumb
Coolness: 122415
being supportive and understanding is all you can do in such a situation

just do that and hope for the best pal
I'm feeling battery operated right now..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Blisss replied on Wed May 27, 2009 @ 7:10pm
blisss
Coolness: 129825
Failure is a part of life, get used to it, any successful person will tell you that. The trick is too learn from the situation and grow from it.

If the teacher is vindicative, that could be a problem, but he can probably protest the mark he got.

But he's gotta honest about it, if he really didn't study hard enough or didn't put the effort in then he's gotta accept the consequences and do better next time.

On the other hand if he personally feels like he did a great job but the teacher was a dick, then he shouldn't feel bad even if the mark was low.
I'm feeling sunshine right now..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DynV replied on Mon Jun 1, 2009 @ 1:17am
dynv
Coolness: 108910
Dealing with failure is in the "personal/self growth" experience, just like you deal with passions, hobbies, professional involvement, ... I doubt there's a classic method that would help with this.

I used to vent out my problems a lot more and would be very fearful of failure at the expense of having an (somewhat) interesting life as I would prepare much, my priorities have changed and I now see failure as part of learning just as preparing so much ; if something really important not allowing failure, like a one-time event or an exceptional opportunity would arise, I would resort to much preparation but otherwise I'd go with sufficient preparation.

I started to deal with failure in college but someone I knew only had to deal with it after a few years of very successful university, faced in same situation as you (helping someone deal with failure) the reply was that the earlier it's dealt with, the less devastating it is.
I'm feeling <3 sexi_babe_69 right now..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» nothingnopenope replied on Mon Jun 1, 2009 @ 3:51am
nothingnopenope
Coolness: 201330
I never get bad marks when I study hard and put in effort, but I failed lots of stuff when I didn't do that.

Lol my semester average was below 2.0 gpa and I was going to get kicked out of uni but I smartened up and worked harder (and switched to a program that was more interesting) and it's always above 3.5 now.
I'm feeling meow right now..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» MsShlee replied on Mon Jun 1, 2009 @ 10:03am
msshlee
Coolness: 50530
I havent been to school in years but I know a few people who had that situation and went to the teacher and offered to do extra work or something to make up for it. If you approach them in a professional manner it sometimes can help
I'm feeling jamaica right now..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» cutterhead replied on Mon Jun 1, 2009 @ 8:15pm
cutterhead
Coolness: 131700
.
I'm feeling snafu right now..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» greatjob replied on Wed Jun 3, 2009 @ 7:49pm
greatjob
Coolness: 282560
My friend got a second chance!!! :D
She's able to redo the assignment that made her fail in the first place - all hope is NOT lost :)

thanks for all the advice everyone - you're the best
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Blisss replied on Thu Jun 4, 2009 @ 3:35am
blisss
Coolness: 129825
There you go, tell her to ace that shit!
I'm feeling sunshine right now..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Rakoon replied on Thu Jun 4, 2009 @ 4:04am
rakoon
Coolness: 175545
I think you have to fail a lot to win
And the win never come as you expect

la lala lala chante la ta chanson
I'm feeling zen right now..
Dealing With Failing
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