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Clowns Are Evil
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» neoform replied on Thu Mar 26, 2009 @ 12:18am |
 Coolness: 339810 | There once was a man who loved the circus.
He loved watching the elephants when they paraded into the tent, and they were coaxed to stand up on their hind legs, balance atop of giant balls, trumpet on command. He loved the lion tamers. He loved watching these enormous beasts leap about and stand upon large stools all at the behest of a man with a small whip and a chair. Heck, the man even would put his head in a lions mouth, and he'd never get bit. He loved the acrobats as they cavorted around the ring and leaped from swing to swing daring gravity to take them to their deaths. He loved the circus. One day he saw the circus was in town. And boy was he excited. He immediately purchased a ticket for the first show and though all about how much he loved the circus. He loved watching the high dive act. How could one man jump from such high a place only to land in a tiny pool of water without hurting himself? Amazing! He loved the horse riders as they sped around the ring at breakneck speed. They would stand in the saddle or hang on by only a foot and lean precariously off the horse. Unbelievable. Well finally the day came. He woke up at the crack o dawn and hopped a bus to the circus. They didn't open until 10, so he had several hours to wait, but he NEEDED to get the perfect seat. He sat in front of the gates waiting those long hours until finally the performers awakened, took their showers, did their morning exercises, and began to practice. He quickly closed his eyes so as not to spoil the performances. FINALLY, the ticket taker came out and took his ticket and he went inside the tent and sat down, front row center. The BEST seat in the house. He waited a few more hours as more and more people filled the tent. This was going to be a good show. The lights went down and a single spot light lit the center ring. The funny man in the hat came out and spoke, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN..." and began to welcome the crowd. The circus loving man was giddy as a schoolgirl, crying and laughing and clapping with such ferocity, he never heard the rest of the introduction. The elephants came out and they paraded into the tent, and they were coaxed to stand up on their hind legs, balance atop of giant balls, trumpet on command. The lion tamers came next. He watched these enormous beasts leap about and stand upon large stools all at the behest of a man with a small whip and a chair. Heck, the man even would put his head in a lions mouth, and he never got bit! The acrobats cavorted around the ring and leaped from swing to swing daring gravity to take them to their deaths. There was the high dive act. How could one man jump from such high a place only to land in a tiny pool of water without hurting himself? Amazing! The horse riders sped around the ring at breakneck speed. They stood in the saddle and hung on by only a foot and leaned precariously off the horse. Unbelievable! Then came the clowns...he hated clowns. He forgot about the clowns. One clown saw the man sitting front row center and singled him out. The terrible clown, went to shake his hand. Grudgingly the man grabbed the clowns hand to shake it...but the hand came off! It was fake! The crowd laughed. The evil clown then brought out three cream pies and began to juggle. The crowd "Ooo"ed at the stunt...then that clown mashed all three pies into the mans face. The crowd hooted with glee! The clown then produced a lovely bouquet of flowers. He sniffed them mightily and make a huge smile. He then encouraged the man to sniff the flowers...and a stream of water squirted into his face! The crowd howled for more. The circus loving man left in tears. He missed all the other shows that week he was so depressed. He never left his bed and cried nonstop. Then suddenly, he had an idea. He was going to get that clown. He was going to teach that damned clown a lesson. All he had to do was wait. He knew that circus well, it would come around in another 5 years or so. So the man waited and waited...and plotted his revenge. The clown would pay. Eventually 7 years later, that same circus returned. The man immediately bought his ticket for the first show and cackled in glee when he thought of the clown's possible reactions. Well finally the day came. He woke up at the crack o dawn and hopped a bus to the circus. They didn't open until 10, so he had several hours to wait, but he NEEDED to get the perfect seat...he NEEDED to make that clown pay. He sat in front of the gates waiting those long hours until finally the performers awakened, took their showers, did their morning exercises, and began to practice. He remembered how much he loved the circus and figured he might as well enjoy the show too. He quickly closed his eyes so as not to spoil the performances. FINALLY, the ticket taker came out and took his ticket and he went inside the tent and sat down, front row center. The BEST seat in the house. He waited a few more hours as more and more people filled the tent. This was going to be a good show...and COLD REVENGE. The lights went down and a single spot light lit the center ring. The funny man in the hat came out and spoke, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN..." and began to welcome the crowd. The circus loving man laughed like a maniac when he once again thought of the clown and what he was going to do. He was laughing and clapping with such ferocity, he never heard the rest of the introduction. The elephants came out and they paraded into the tent, and they were coaxed to stand up on their hind legs, balance atop of giant balls, trumpet on command. The lion tamers came next. He watched these enormous beasts leap about and stand upon large stools all at the behest of a man with a small whip and a chair. Heck, the man even would put his head in a lions mouth, and he never got bit! The acrobats cavorted around the ring and leaped from swing to swing daring gravity to take them to their deaths. There was the high dive act. How could one man jump from such high a place only to land in a tiny pool of water without hurting himself? Amazing! The horse riders sped around the ring at breakneck speed. They stood in the saddle and hung on by only a foot and leaned precariously off the horse. Unbelievable! Then came the clowns. He hated clowns. But sure enough, he saw the very clown he was after. That same clown saw the man sitting front row center and a glint of recognition shone in his eye. The clown singled him out. The terrible clown, went to shake his hand. Once again, grudgingly the man grabbed the clowns hand to shake it...but the hand came off! It was fake! The crowd laughed. The man only smiled grimly. The evil clown then brought out three cream pies and began to juggle. The man waited. The crowd "Ooo"ed at the stunt...then that clown mashed all three pies into the mans face. The crowd hooted with glee! The man just wiped his face patiently. The clown then produced a lovely bouquet of flowers. He sniffed them mightily and make a huge smile. He then encouraged the man to sniff the flowers...and a stream of water squirted into his face! The crowd howled for more. The man was nonchalant. The circus loving man, then stood up slowly in front of the clown. The crowd went silent, wondering what was about to happen. The man took a step forward, pointed his finger into the clowns face...and yelled: FUCK YOU, CLOWN! |
| I'm feeling almighty right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Ashigaikha replied on Thu Mar 26, 2009 @ 12:58am |
 Coolness: 73980 | lawl! unexpected ending =D |
| I'm feeling raped by entities right now.. | |
| Neutral [0]Toggle ReplyLink» cutterhead replied on Thu Mar 26, 2009 @ 2:33am |
 Coolness: 131740 | pff who cares about your blocks of text.
try to type it down instead of blattantly copy pasting neophorm |
| I'm feeling 4hz even if you dont right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Blisss replied on Thu Mar 26, 2009 @ 2:35am |
 Coolness: 129865 | Originally Posted By NEOFORM
FUCK YOU, CLOWN! Lol... |
| I'm feeling like the good guy right now.. | |
| Neutral [0]Toggle ReplyLink» cutterhead replied on Thu Mar 26, 2009 @ 2:37am |
| Coolness: 131740 | hun ? |
| I'm feeling 4hz even if you dont right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» neoform replied on Thu Mar 26, 2009 @ 10:13am |
| Coolness: 339810 | Long read, but funny joke. :D |
| I'm feeling almighty right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» JasonBeastly replied on Thu Mar 26, 2009 @ 11:16am |
 Coolness: 76855 | I like the part about your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air. |
| I'm feeling mighty frisky right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AlienZeD replied on Thu Mar 26, 2009 @ 1:54pm |
 Coolness: 509705 | its' long, but good :) |
| I'm feeling will dj for money right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PonChalice replied on Thu Mar 26, 2009 @ 2:04pm |
 Coolness: 76400 | haha, the best part is when Frodo dies! |
| I'm feeling the re-lol right now.. | |
Clowns Are Evil
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