E-MAIL ATTACK: READERS READ A LOT INTO POT COLUMN

Ah, the good old days.

It seems like only yesterday I was a left-wing wacko.

One column later -- one column siding with cops against Initiative 75 to
keep marijuana illegal but make police ignore the law -- and I'm a
right-wing, Bush-hugging, flag-waving conservative. Worse, I've hopped into
bed with U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft, Seattle Police Chief Gil
Kerlikowske and City Attorney Tom Carr.

And I can tell you it's dang crowded in here and the guys are hogging the
remote.

Out of the more than 75 e-mails that had already smacked me upside the head
by lunchtime on Wednesday, only one both grasped and appreciated the gist.

"Your point -- that if we (adults or young people) don't like the rules,
work to change them, don't just pretend they don't exist -- is right
on-target," Terry Seaman wrote.

For the rest, the only thing right on target was my posterior for, among
other atrocities, opposing marijuana for medical use (I don't). And
favoring a fascist state. (I haven't voted fascist in ages).

Jeez. I thought marijuana made you mellow, dude.

"Dear Reasonable-Yet-With-Proper-Family-Values-Columnist,

"Far be it for our country to really be a democracy ... far be it that we
should actually enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness," Rick
Kelly wrote. "We get a lot of flag wavers these days who think what's
important is the flag, not the values that stand behind it. And any
criticism of Bush is unpatriotic."

(See, right off, you've got to figure Rick doesn't read me real often.)

"Good, foursquare moms like yourself, no doubt between martinis, want to
downplay the FACT that a lot of people support marijuana use or at least
are not bothered by it!" Rick accused.

Hey! I'm saying that legislation to keep pot a crime but mandate looking
the other way is a mixed message that breeds contempt for the law. And make
that a single malt Scotch.

"You lack rationale, the big picture, and you are narrow-minded. I am tired
of reading slop like I read from you ...," wrote Brent Woods, one of many
to romantically link me with Ashcroft.

Brent suggested I save my "bias for fools and idiots that watch Fox News."

And no sooner had Harry Fisher charged me with painting "florid, extreme
scenarios," but there was this from Richard Nielsen:

"Do you really want to put millions of Americans, including your children,
at risk of the horrors of our medieval jails and prisons, to be sodomized,
to lose their teeth and their citizenship and voting rights forever and be
infected with the AIDS virus ...?," he asked.

At least he said, "Thank you for keeping us thinking."

Many readers cited studies "proving" the harmlessness of cannabis compared
with alcohol, which wasn't really the issue I'd bitten off to chew on. But
Scott Burke's assertion sure got my attention.

"Studies have shown that high school students who smoke marijuana are
statistically, significantly more socially adjusted than their peers who
have never smoked," he said.

And Pam may have a news story on her hands. "Jack Cole of L.E.A.P. (Law
Enforcers Against Prohibition) signed up three Seattle Police officers at
Hempfest," she said.

Cool. And, if true, I'd like to be the first to request an interview,
please, officers?

In fairness, a gratifying number of calls and messages from readers such as
Peter Toliver, thoughtfully proposed that parents convey the hard and
complex truth, not dogma, to kids sorting out a daily barrage of
intoxicating messages about tobacco and alcohol. I agree.

The truth, Mark Panitch wrote, is that, "as a prosecutor and public
defender, I handled scads of violent crimes and I estimate that at least 90
percent of them involved alcohol. I never saw any marijuana users hurt
themselves or others except by accident."

"You're right. Rather than looking the other way and still having a law on
the books, we should remove the laws that govern marijuana use," Tim Mendes
wrote. "But then we'd have to actually take a reasonable look at a
substance that is no worse, and in some respects better than alcohol."

Then there was this cheery postcard from a Brit who's moving to Seattle
next week:

Don't fret, Brian Esler soothed. The "wink, wink" policy, known as "softly,
softly" in London, works swimmingly over there. "Seattle residents have
nothing to fear."

And neither do you, dear reader. I'll be my old lefty wacko self before you
know it.

Susan Paynter's column appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.