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Been Drugfree For A Year Now And...
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Mezion a répondu le Thu 4 Dec, 2008 @ 1:59am |
 Coolness: 45465 | it<s good for my body and mind I guess but, I seem to be lacking a lot of drive. It was a good thing to stop taking msuh/E and LSD but things arent the same, I feel like it<s been a realy boring year, things aren't has colorfull has they were. I kind of miss the ''melting walls'' on mush or the animate decorations on LSD ^__^
I don't think I'll start taking stuff again. Anyone have some advice about this? Is it normal? I only took stuff for a year (and that's like 2-3 time per month, more during summer). Maybe it's just my personnality (I then to be REALY passionate about stuff all the time, be it Games, Books, etc.) and I have some mini-depressions now and then, nothing realy big but, I don<t remember having lots of those before. Anyways, anyone got something to add? Some help would be great :) And if you want, share your stories! |
| I'm feeling ok ^_^ right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead a répondu le Thu 4 Dec, 2008 @ 2:08am |
 Coolness: 685620 | I sorta know what you mean. I was never into psychadelics, I much prefered weed and alcohol (with the occasional bit of K), but when I got chrons 2 1/2 years ago I went totally cold-turkey on everything..
It's totally affected my creativity and my motivation.. I used to come out with some of the sickest beats and synths when I was stoned or drunk, 'cause I would be just sitting there for hours tweaking shit and not noticing the time pass and being blown away by the new sounds.. now I can barely even make a drum loop before just closing the program without saving 'cause I just don't feel moved by anything anymore. When you're high or drunk on anything, it's almost like being a kid again; the world isn't the same as when you're sober: colours are different, sound is different, it's like being in a magical world that looks like the one you see every day.. When you see friends, you go on fun and exciting adventures, even if it's just walking down the street and checking out store signs or going down that alley to see how it looks.. things you don't think of doing (and aren't as fascinated with) when you're sober. Not doing drugs or drinking has really made life boring for me now. Since I've got health problems, it's not really a choice, it's more like something forced onto me.. It's like in peter pan, going to never-never-land and then one day you grow up, and you can't go back anymore, and it really feels like the world has lost all it's fun and it's magic. |
| I'm feeling older right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Gamos a répondu le Thu 4 Dec, 2008 @ 3:36am |
 Coolness: 93525 | E has had major effects on my life, but not in the way you talk about. For a couple weeks after I take it, there is a lack of ability to concentrate. It usually takes about 2-3 months to come back close to normal.
I also notice between my periods on and off E that emotions are remarkably changed. And it actually becomes slightly more "blah" everytime I quit. Highs aren't as high, but lows aren't as low. Its harder to feel all emotions on the spectrum - anger, euphoria, stress, sadness, love, irratibility - really just any emotion from the center is more difficult to get to. However, that shouldnt be confused with contentment. I feel content with life more than ever, and would say Im generally in more of a state of happiness and general well being after everytime I quit. Of course, this is just my personal experience, and it might have more to do with growing up and hormones and genes. But, for instance, I used to be very empathetic (true empathy for african children, hobos, war amps, ect). I use to have the odd "Cant sleep, Can't eat" infatuations with girls, and would fall "in like" a lot. I used to hate losing, and love winning with sports and video games. Gambling use to be fun. I'd feel sad when I got bad news in the family. Not so much anymore. I still think the state of africa and starving kids and child soldiers is sad, but i have trouble feeling it. I can't remember the last time I fell in anything close to love or like. I don't play video games or like gambling at all anymore - they bore me. With bad family news - again, I think its sad when someone dies or gets cancer, but I don't feel sad. It might be the E, it might be something else. For instance, I never use to study at all until I got to university (I studied for about 20 hours in all of high school, instead using all my free time to be a social butterfly). Now I study 8-10 hours a day. And I move around a lot. So I don't really get too much deep human interaction. Both probably correlate pretty close to what I've noticed, and so I couldn't definitively say, "its the E" or "its my change in lifestyle." It might be something different to, but I personally think its a bit of both. It kind of makes sense too. I remember from when I was in BioChem, that one plausible mechanism is that E permanently kills the seratonin uptake receptors when E is being broken down to be disposed of. If thats the case, then chronically using E should in fact make it harder to feel emotions that seratonin helps you feel. Granted dopamine is the reward center, but I think I liked the euphoria or winning over the reward of doing so - I dont have an addictive personality. It only seriously affects 2% of the population though (for the other 98%, the process still occurs but at a much slower rate, so there might be very little different after your raving career is over), so Im sure that many people on the board will call this post bullshit [like horus for example], but its truely how I feel. Sadly, I think im in the unlucky 2%. Maybe it will come back eventually, but I doubt it. That said, Im can't see myself quitting E permanently. Given that my abilty to feel emotion on a normal day to day basis may be permanently fucked already, taking E plays a bigger role in my life than ever. :) So yeah. I guess what I'll finish with is one of the most important lessons I've learnt while on E. Life is a one way journey. Make the most of what you have left, which is probably lots if your like me in your teens, 20s or 30s. And trust me, you're not really that far behind the herd, if at all. Take some time to figure out who, where and what you want to be, and just go become that person. Things like motivation are really just a facade - you battle through it if you do something that really interests you or your chasing a dream you really want. Its actually that simple. Theres no tricks. Life is whatever you want it to be. And don't forget to reflect all the time, because as you change, so will the person you want to be. Don't keep chasing a dream, life-style or career you're no longer interested in (the demotivation starts to creep up on you if you do) |
| I'm feeling empty right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» databoy a répondu le Thu 4 Dec, 2008 @ 9:03pm |
 Coolness: 106145 | Originally Posted By SCREWHEAD
When you're high or drunk on anything, it's almost like being a kid again; the world isn't the same as when you're sober: colours are different, sound is different, it's like being in a magical world that looks like the one you see every day.. When you see friends, you go on fun and exciting adventures, even if it's just walking down the street and checking out store signs or going down that alley to see how it looks.. things you don't think of doing (and aren't as fascinated with) when you're sober. Very well said. |
| I'm feeling love right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Psilo a répondu le Fri 5 Dec, 2008 @ 9:32pm |
 Coolness: 82710 | it is posible to see life this magical beeing sober, its just harder cuz u got to deserve it, work for it {drugz are a shortcut to hapiness, but it's not like taking the hard way he}..but dont worry yould be able to feel like that again. Give your brain time to reequilibrate all chemical stuff naturaly..
Have a nice and colourfull life! |
| I'm feeling the wind of change right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AYkiN0XiA a répondu le Sun 7 Dec, 2008 @ 3:00pm |
 Coolness: 166605 | wow i love this thread. Mise À Jour » AYkiN0XiA a écrit sur Sun 7 Dec, 2008 @ 3:09pm i can go temporarly insane when i don't take drugs. i go on a slipping slope of being 'too wise', eating right, sleeping good, etc... then my health is so good but i feel bored.
maybe it has to do with living in the city - we need to make the gray stuff go away. people are all so serious here and there is a pull to become one of them. drugs once in a while help us shake that pull out of ourselves and it's like a reality check. i've never been doing drugs abusively though, once a month or two... if i do it too much i feel like i'm stuck on the other side of the mirror and can't access properly what they call 'reality'. it's good when you can be active on both sides of it ;) |
| I'm feeling psy-minded right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Mezion a répondu le Thu 11 Dec, 2008 @ 9:18pm |
| Coolness: 45465 | wow thanks for sharing your stories and tips :)
I don't know what else to say... it's really inspiring |
| I'm feeling ok ^_^ right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Horus a répondu le Thu 18 Dec, 2008 @ 5:07pm |
 Coolness: 40780 | Interesting post Guys and Gamos. Glossing over the idea that you might think you know me - Interestingly, I also have a non-addictive personality and I am a lot less emotional since using E. I am still able to appreciate beauty, kindness, and all the good qualities that make life worthwhile though. So it does not seem to affect 'sensitivity' per se, but if anything, simply emotionality. I think most people could use a bit less emotionality, come to think of it.
For myself, and like you I can't say if it's the E or not, but I am able to have fun and laugh my head off with the most insignificant stuff, when sober. And when on drugs too, of course, but I find it interesting that this ability is there when sober. As such, I am very much a misfit in that I have fun ALL THE TIME. Anywhere I am, we will laugh our heads off and we're not making fun of anyone. Except on ravewave of course. But this is not a "Place"... I digress. I don't know if it's the drugs or not but I like it. I like it a lot and I would not trade places with any of concrete-faced people I meet, even for 100 million $. Would I have more fun without having take E? I think I would be one of them concrete faces, especially at 41 years old, when people take themselves AND THEIR LIVES¡ so seriously. This ability to have fun all the time stayed with me when I was drug and alcohol free for 6 years between 2001 and 2007. I think it's there for good. |
| I'm feeling calm right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Deadfunk a répondu le Fri 19 Dec, 2008 @ 9:59am |
 Coolness: 153035 | you still alive? you didnt die of a steroid and ghb mix overdose? |
| I'm feeling hardcore right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Horus a répondu le Sat 20 Dec, 2008 @ 12:22am |
| Coolness: 40780 | Originally Posted By DEADFUNK
you still alive? you didnt die of a steroid and ghb mix overdose? This thread was doing fine until you went full hater. The grown ups were discussing drugs, drug-free life, and their effects and such. |
| I'm feeling calm right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Turtle a répondu le Mon 22 Dec, 2008 @ 12:15pm |
 Coolness: 68335 | WAIIIIIIIIIIT for it Mise À Jour » Turtle a écrit sur Mon 22 Dec, 2008 @ 12:33pm BTW were both those comments really needed? |
| I'm feeling sad right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Deadfunk a répondu le Mon 22 Dec, 2008 @ 3:58pm |
| Coolness: 153035 | Originally Posted By HORUS
The grown ups were discussing drugs, drug-free life, and their effects and such. so, this thread EXCLUDES you? |
| I'm feeling hardcore right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Mezion a répondu le Mon 22 Dec, 2008 @ 6:06pm |
| Coolness: 45465 | A cmon guys, there's plenty of drama in the General zone lol :P |
| I'm feeling ^-^ right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» system_glitch a répondu le Tue 23 Dec, 2008 @ 12:52am |
 Coolness: 162530 | Mezion, sorry bro, but once a thread gets hi-jacked here on ravewave, there's no way back ... |
| I'm feeling in venomous bloom right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» madforbrad a répondu le Tue 23 Dec, 2008 @ 1:27am |
 Coolness: 44580 | i quit heroin and despite my hair growing back, i am considerably less cool. Probably about 35% less cool. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» databoy a répondu le Tue 23 Dec, 2008 @ 10:44pm |
| Coolness: 106145 | You should start again. |
| I'm feeling love right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» BOBDYLAN a répondu le Fri 26 Dec, 2008 @ 7:59am |
 Coolness: 148215 | Originally Posted By NAMASTE
can go temporarly insane when i don't take drugs. euh, thats all the time.... |
| I'm feeling brokeback rave.ca right now.. | |
Been Drugfree For A Year Now And...
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