TONY & TACKY

The Grass Is Always Greener:

Looks as though scientists researching the medical benefits of marijuana
may have inadvertently hit on a way to discourage Americans from smoking
dope: Let the government grow it. According to the San Jose Mercury News,
participants in a publicly funded study into whether marijuana relieves
pain in HIV patients are complaining that the research joints -- grown on a
government farm in Mississippi -- are of low quality. "I couldn't smoke the
stuff any more," Phillip Alden told the newspaper. "I was disgusted with
the federal government."

Just Say No?

While we're on the subject of drugs, this week's Rolling Stone carries a
fascinating piece on Layne Staley, the Alice in Chains singer whose body
was found in his Seattle condo in April next to a syringe and heroin
cooker. The story goes into ugly detail about Staley's experience with
drugs, including the abscesses that covered his arms and the loss of most
of his teeth. But just so no one gets the wrong idea here, a few pages
later another piece describes how "hard-line judges" bent on upholding
random drug tests for students are about to make U.S. high schools "an
experience straight out of Orwell's 1984."