MAKE SURE YOUR KIDS NOT CRUISIN' FOR BOOZIN'

Without realizing it, adults are selling alcohol to young children by
glamorizing its use.

That was the message sent loud and clear to parents of
Dover-Sherborn students in kindergarten through eighth grade last
Tuesday evening in the Mudge Auditorium.

Renee Soulis from Freedom from Chemical Dependency was the featured
speaker. The presentation was a joint effort of the Substance Abuse
Roundtable at the Dover-Sherborn High School and ReachOut, a
community based human services organization.

Soulis began by saying that by the time children reach high school,
many parents feel it is too late to change their children's
attitudes about underage drinking. She stressed education about
alcohol should begin in elementary school. "Early is a good thing,"
Soulis said.

She reassured the audience that her intention was not to judge
parents' habits, and that every family makes its own personal
decision on alcohol. She said it would be very difficult to get the
audience to all agree. "If we want children to drink, at what age,
and under what circumstances ... we all will disagree what age is
appropriate to have a drink because right here there in this room
there are all different backgrounds and a vast array of attitudes
around alcohol," she said.

Using the concept of anticipatory socialization, Soulis explained
the further away children are from a certain grade, the more likely
they will exaggerate that grade's behavior. Thus, a kindergartener
may think all teenagers drink. Fact vs. perceptions She reviewed
statistics showing that 33 percent of the U.S. population doesn't
drink at all, and only 10 percent of adults drink 90 percent of the
booze. "Using these can reduce false perceptions," Soulis said. On
the other hand, she also believes, "Every time we mention that
college drinking is out of control, we are telling our kids to drink."

She said the earlier a child starts to use alcohol or drugs, the
greater the chance of their becoming a substance abuser. Soulis
said, "Before 15, the risk of getting into trouble increases tenfold."

She described her shock at going into an elementary classroom years
ago and asking the students what they drank at lunch and receiving
typical answers such as chocolate milk and apple juice. When asked
what adults drank and expecting answers like coffee and tea, Soulis
instead heard gin-and-tonics, wine and even names of specific Mexican beers.

On further questioning, the children, many said they believed adults
drink "as soon as they take their coat off," "after a hard day at
work" and "to have fun at parties."

Again, saying the choice to drink is a personal decision, she
suggested parents think about how alcohol is portrayed in a home in
the eyes of a child. She asked the audience questions: "Do they
connect stress relief and anxiety to drinking? Where is the alcohol
kept? Is a wet bar a sort of shrine?" Show early Soulis offered
parents concrete suggestions, such as showing our children we can
have fun without alcohol and delaying drinking for as long as
possible. If a child asks for a sip of an alcoholic drink, she said
it is natural curiosity. Whether or not a parent decides to grant
permission, a parent must always have the conversation that alcohol
is not good for young, growing bodies. "You don't give them the
taste without the conversation that goes with it," she said,
and suggested they taste something like tequila, not something
palatable. As for families with teenagers, she brought up a common
misperception that many families are serving alcohol to teenagers at
parties. This is actually a very small percentage. Heavy teen
drinkers believe they are in the majority, but in reality are in the minority.

A question-and-answer period followed. Many parents agreed it is
their responsibility to stop and respond to any overheard
conversation concerning inappropriate behavior.

Otherwise children and teenagers assume approval. One parent, Amy
DiSanto, also suggested, "Most parents remain silent and cross their
fingers. We must also show our approval" for good behavior and "use
positive reinforcement with our children."

Parents are invited to Substance Abuse Roundtable meetings held five
times a year. Joanne Kenney, director of the Guidance Department,
said, "It is a great way to voice opinions and consists of students,
parents and faculty." To sign up for the next meeting, parents
should contact Kenney at the high school or Jane Biagi of ReachOut,
reachoutinc.@rcn.com.