MAN WHO RUINS POT PARTY PUTS GIRLFRIEND'S NOSE OUT OF JOINT

Dear Abby: I am 21 and my girlfriend, "Jody," is 19. The other day
she was invited to a party at which she told me she intended to
smoke marijuana. She knows I disapprove of drugs and alcohol. When I
became upset, she told me to "lighten up."

I love Jody with all my heart and want nothing bad to happen to her,
so I wrote an anonymous letter to her mother explaining the
situation. Jody didn't get into trouble, but her brother did because
he had marijuana on him at the time. Because I told her mother what
was going to happen, nobody was able to do what they intended at
the party. Now they're all mad at me. I have been getting hate
messages on my answering machine and via e-mail. Jody promised to
call me before the party, but she didn't and went anyway.

I visited her at work and tried to talk with her, but she isn't
speaking to me. I have apologized countless times, saying I didn't
mean for anyone to get in trouble. I love her more than anything,
but I don't feel any love in return. I am very shy, so I find
it hard to talk to her. What can I do? -- Hurting in Iowa

Dear Hurting: You have done enough. It doesn't take a crystal ball
to see that your relationship with Jody is over, at least for now.
Please forgive me for being a "downer," but it's time to accept the
fact that you and Jody are at different levels of maturity and
heading down different paths. When and if this girl matures, she
may realize the fine qualities you have to offer. But I have a
feeling that by the time that happens, you'll be long gone and in
love with someone whose values are more similar to your own.