Got a leaky roof? Call Drug War Roofing Company.

In keeping with the war on drugs theme, Drug War Roofing Company
reminds all customers:

Ninety percent of your leak will continue indefinitely.
DWR can't stop the leak. You know it. We know it. Heck, we
admit it in advance. You insist on paying us anyway.
Our motto: "If it keeps just one kid from abusing a leaky roof,
it's worth it."

Federal law dictates that you use our approach to roof repair.
There is only one way to fix a roof. All loyal Americans know this.
Go ahead and complain. DWR will ignore your complaints and hire
more people to produce the same results - all the while charging
you a higher rate than we did last year.

Employees taking bribes? Corruption? Murder? Innocent by-standers
caught in the cross-fire? It's all in a days work at Drug War Roofing.
Don't you worry. DWR will bend the U.S. Constitution like a
mud-stained rainbow and place the U.S. military right in your own
backyard. The military isn't trained to repair roofs, but it
sure looks good on our resume.

We at DWR firmly believe that it is our moral duty to escalate
our efforts no matter the fee, regardless of the consequences.
We are going to stop the rain at its source.
We're just a phone call away. That's 1 (800) GET SOAKED.

John Wilson