POT SCHEME SILLY

Saskatoon StarPhoenix

Trust the federal bureaucracy to screw up a job that seems to pose so
little difficulty for countless drug dealers whose task is made no easier
by the need to keep an eye out for police.

Only an army of paper shufflers, policy drafters and derriere coverers can
grind to a halt what in essence is a government-sanctioned dope-dealing
operation to supply a handful of Canadians with marijuana for medical use.

That officials have been most diligent in quality testing the product from
the underground farm in northern Manitoba seems as a good an explanation as
any for the length of time it's taking them to develop a plan to get the
pot to patients. After all, time does have way of standing still ...

As usual, there are plenty of excuses as to why 250 kilograms of processed
marijuana buds are sitting in cold storage while nearly 800 people
authorized to use the drug to alleviate certain medical conditions either
go without or risk criminal charges by seeking relief through outlaw drug
dealers.

Nearly a year after the Liberal government announced the program, officials
have yet to resolve crucial details ranging from who among the patients it
approves would get the drug to whether the marijuana needs to go through
the same kind of vetting process that governs other pharmaceuticals
destined for public use.

As well, officials want to supply marijuana only to those participating in
clinical trials or monitored research projects, which means the government
won't be able to recoup its estimated five-year cost of $5.7 million to
grow the pot. Patients usually aren't charged the cost of experimental drugs.

It goes without saying that such concerns should have been addressed long
before former Health minister Allan Rock announced the medical marijuana
program in December, not after the growing contract had been let and the
product began to pile up in storage.

Now that the government has got the stuff in hand, however, perhaps what's
needed is a bit of imagination to make this all work out.

Given the Liberals' antipathy toward the sensible solution of revising
absurdly draconian laws on simple pot possession -- witness the fuss over
Alliance MP Keith Martin's decriminalization bill -- the alternative might
be to resort to trickery. After all, politicians are well-versed in the tactic.

Patients seeking relief from back pain to depression to AIDS symptoms can
be told that they can have the marijuana, but need to ingest it at official
dispensing centres where staff can monitor them. Cost recovery then becomes
a simple matter of locating nearby a concession stand with a supply of $10
chocolate bars, $5 bags of buttery popcorn and $15 bags of zesty chips,
just like at the movies, except cheaper.

Or, in the cause of eliminating horrendous waste, the bureaucrats in charge
of coming up with the pot regulations should engage in rigorous
self-medication. As the martinets mellow out, Canadians will be surprised
to find that they no longer have a huge pain in their collective behind.

So much for doubts about the medical benefits of pot.