FORMER CRYSTAL METH USER RECOUNTS COST OF ADDICTION

In nine months, Lori Heggstrom lost everything because of crystal meth
- -- her car, her house, her family and her son.

Heggstrom, 33, told the audience at the Community Action Against
Crystal Meth Conference in Saskatoon that methamphetamine, or crystal
meth, "sucks the life right out of you."

"All you can do is think about it, where you're going to go get it. It
just totally consumes your life," she said Wednesday as part of a
presentation by the Metis Addictions Council of Saskatchewan.

She began using and dealing meth in Prince Albert in January, 2003.
But she never noticed at the time the impact the drug was having over
her life.

Physically, she was dehydrated, causing her hands to crack and become
infected. Her tongue had razor-like lacerations, her scalp had sores.

She admitted to staying awake for 21 days in May of that year, and
losing at least 30 pounds from not eating. She noticed friends pick
their skin or pluck all the hair from their eyebrows and arms. But not
her -- she pulled her hair out from the back of her head.

"My eyes were sunken in, skin yellow, hair greasy. At the time I
thought I looked good because I was so skinny," she said.

She noticed the paranoia associated with the drug, believing a
reflection outside to be a van of police.

Finally, Heggstrom displayed the violence associated with the drug,
becoming angry with friends, beating one up and pushing another
through a bedroom wall.

"My mom came into my house one day and said You better smarten up or
you're going to lose that little boy.' I took my mom's finger, I broke
it and I pushed her across the kitchen, which I would normally never,
ever do."

Life had not always been this way. She grew up in a middle-class home
on Saskatoon's west side. She was a figure skater, was in track and
field and made the honour roll at Mount Royal Collegiate, where she
graduated in 1989.

She had wanted to be an RCMP officer, studying criminology at Red Deer
College. Heggstrom returned to Saskatoon, though, to study psychology
at the University of Saskatchewan after she had her son in 1996.

In August 2003, her parents sold her house and her car, which were in
their names because of student loans. And she wasn't allowed to pick
her son up from his father's house, because Saskatoon police
intervened, saying she endangered her son's life and was an unfit
mother. "I didn't realize that I was doing anything negative," said
Heggstrom through tears. "Now I know that was the absolute worst
environment for my little boy. I put him through hell and the guilt I
feel for that is absolutely horrible." She was arrested and charged
the next month in Prince Albert's first case -- the province's second
- -- of trafficking methamphetamine.

"I wasn't scared. I couldn't scream, I couldn't cry.

All I could feel was relief."

Released on bail, though, she returned to her former life. Heggstrom
stayed at a friend's place, a friend who handed a pipe to her. And
because she did not "rat" on her suppliers, she got a half ounce of
meth and a half ounce of cocaine to sell.

But her daughter was her saving grace -- she learned she was pregnant
about a week after being released.

"My little girl is an absolute miracle, I have not touched meth since
that date. I have been clean now for 26 months."

She attended drug and personal counselling in Prince Albert. Heggstrom
was sentenced in February 2004 to a one-year conditional sentence and
six months of house arrest.

While coming off the drug, she felt a roller coaster of emotions, she
was happy one moment and screaming the next. But she didn't use
medication because, "I don't believe in coming off of one drug with
another."

She isn't sure why she began using meth, but depression and
self-esteem are contributing factors.

Although unsure of the future, she said she hoped to get a job and get
her son back. Although she speaks to other children about her
experience, she has yet to explain to her son what has happened.

"I'm not sure if his dad told him, but I need to speak to him to let
him know that I didn't choose the drug over him."