'TOON IN, TURN ON, GET SENT TO JAIL

A marijuana delivery service dubbed the "Cartoon Network" brought
high-grade pot to the doorsteps of thousands of clients, including
sports stars and celebrities, the feds said yesterday.

A dozen members of the ring, including reputed leader [Name
redacted], of Queens, have been rounded up in the past month on
money-laundering and drug conspiracy charges, authorities said.

Agents from the Drug Enforcement Administration identified 50,000
phone numbers of customers who placed orders at a call center, using
the password "cartoon," and then waited for dealers to show up with
their Canadian-grown weed.

"We go to MTV, we know comedians, we know celebrities, so you might
meet a rapper, a singer; you know MTV - we go to a lot of people,"
accused dispatcher [Name redacted] told a courier in a conversation
intercepted by the feds.

Sources said a former professional baseball player from the New York
area, whose name was not released, is suspected of being a past
client. Other famous customers were not named.

[Name redacted] also owned a company that made plastic vials in which
the marijuana was packed. Recent samples bore a character resembling
McDonald's Hamburglar, offering the yuletide greeting, "Happy
Holidays from Your Friends at Cartoon."