|Posted On:||2006-05-02 01:41:34|
I didn't quite believe it at first.Listening To:
"I'm dating Tim" you said.
Then I knew it was true when my heart sank down into my gut and the full meaning of what you said became painfully clear.
I was shocked but not suprised... I had secretly been slightly jealous that Tim and Charlie were living with you. I knew something might happen as things do between boys and girls. It scared me a little bit from the second they moved in.
I wasn't scared when you told me though, I had to leave and no time was better than right as Tim was walking back into the room. I got up, too confused to ask if you might want to talk about it for a minute or two. And I left. I tried calling and wish you had answered because there's so much I wanted to say instead of 'bye'.
Don't get me wrong though, I am happy for you. I could not ask for anything but your happiness. Bull shit you say? Well believe me. In my way I will always love you and I am sad about these circumstances but please know that I am happy if you are happy.
I am writting to tell you something though, so this message isn't only my emotions going nuts. I know this is the wrong time to tell you but I want to be honest so...
For the last couple of weeks I've been thinking about doing something for you... to win you back perhaps... I wasn't seeing you very much and I missed you... Now I can't have you back though and worse, I can't be your friend. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. Just ask Yanny what I've been saying to him about you recently...
I'm sure you can understand that I can never be around you and Tim at the same time. And unless there's even more that no one has told me I will be working with Tim almost every day soon enough. That's going to hard as fuck, but looking into Tim's eyes will be 20 times easier than looking into yours again.
I guess I can still send this to you, maybe with a disclaimer at the top. I'm going to miss you a lot. And baby, I loved you just as much as you loved me for 99% of the time. I've being so stoned and oblivious to the world around me that I didn't realize what I was losing by breaking up with you. I didn't actually lose you until you told me what you told me last night, when 'you' became off-limits to me. I'd ask you not to date him, but it's none of my business anymore...
Persevere my dear Megan! You're better than you know.
Love Forever, Michael Schmid