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The Darwin Awards
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Holly_Golightly replied on Sat Feb 7, 2009 @ 3:27pm |
 Coolness: 158795 | The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of
the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it... some of the 2008 nominees : (2008) Darren was dumb even for a junkie, but what he lacked in IQ he made up in creativity. In the supermarket, he notice a bag labeled "Birdseed 100% Poppy Seed." He seized his chance to circumvent the stranglehold of the International Drug Cartels with the following logic: 100% Poppy Seed = 100% Opium! Figuring he was onto something good, he bought a bag of birdseed, boiled it into a thick black paste, and proceeded to inject it into his vein. Nothing happened, so he did it again. An hour later, he was brought unconscious to our Emergency Department, as sick as it is possible to be. His chest X-ray showed thousands of tiny seed-like objects scattered throughout his lungfields. Our working diagnosis was Milary Tuberculosis, so-called because the TB deposits resemble millet seeds. Little did we know! Only two weeks later, after he recovered from life-threatening septicaemia and multiple organ failure, did the true story emerge. Darren survived, but subsequently died of a garden variety overdose. ***** / (January 2008, Pennsylvania) A 23-year-old man with various body piercings decided to have some fun at work. He wondered, "What it would feel like to connect the electronic control tester to my chest piercings?" Several coworkers tried to convince him that it was a bad idea to wire himself up to the electronic device, but he ignored their pleas. He proceeded to connect two alligator clips to his metal nipple piercings, one on each side, and hit the test button... His coworkers were still trying to revive him with CPR and rescue breathing when police and rescue personnel arrived. They were not successful. **** \ (3 February 2008, California) Two dirtbikes, two drivers, two passengers. Zero helmets, zero headlights, and a new moon. Four friends were tearing around on private land, where helmets and lights are not required. The Highway Patrol said the two couples were killed when their bikes collided between 1:30 and 3:30 AM in Modesto. Emergency room workers have a name for people who ride dirtbikes without a helmet. They're called 'Future Organ Donors' and that is the only career now possible for Thomas, 33, Michael, 33, Kelly, 30, and Cynthia, 29. ***** / [ www.darwinawards.com ] |
| I'm feeling hitched right now.. | |
The Darwin Awards
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