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Unconditional Love
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Zz.ee.vV a répondu le Tue 18 Apr, 2006 @ 1:23pm
zz.ee.vv
Coolness: 193830
This has been written by a Montreal psychologist I have the pleasure of knowing and have the utmost respect for.

I pretty much share that exact same mindset.

Without further ado, I give you Amir:

--------------------
Unconditional Love

"I'm not like most people you know - in fact, you've probably never met
anyone like me. Because my capacity to love is unlike anything you've ever
experienced. Because, I don't think that people in today's society really
know how to love one another. Alot of people think they know how to love,
but they don't really. Love is not wanting anything FROM another person,
it's wanting something FOR another person. When I love someone, that's how
I love them. I only want what's truly best FOR them - even if it's not
what I want. I am complete and fulfilled on my own, so I don't need
anything FROM them. Alot of different things masquerade as love:
Alot of people think that love is trying to possess someone, to keep
someone all to themselves and deprive them of experiencing things without
them because they think they should be all that the other person needs. I
am not that conceited, I know that I cannot be everything that someone
needs and I would never deprive them of an experience that would help them
grow, enrich them in some way, or fulfill them. Anything else is not love,
it's possession. I don't want to own you.

Or they use love to negotiate - "I won't give you what you want till you
give me what I want". And often, the intimacy that men and women need are
different. Although its often untrue, it's stereotyped that women are
looking for emotional intimacy whereas men are usually looking for physical
intimacy and not much else. So a woman will say "I won't be physically intimate
with you until you are emotionally intimate with me." And men will say "How
can I open myself to you and be emotionally intimate if we don't even trust
each other enough to me physically intimate". Well that's not love either,
but each one is using love as a negotiating tool - as leverage.
Sometimes love gets confused for power, people withhold their love from
each other to control or manipulate the other person - that's not love
either, that domination.

Some people think that love is about losing yourself in another person -
needing the other person to complete you or to feel fulfilled, and they're
afraid to let that other person go. That's not love, that's codependence.
Other people are afraid that if the other person experiences things with
someone else, then that someone else might be better than they are, or else
their lover will fall in love with someone else because they weren't enough
to keep them around. Well, that's not love, that's insecurity, and it has
no place in love.

In fact, love is not possession, it's not domination, it's not
codependence, and it has no place for insecurity. When I love someone, it's
no small thing. Love doesn't come in 31 different flavours like Baskin
Robins - there is only one true flavour and that is unconditional love. The
quality of love that I offer is only the highest quality unconditional love
- that means I don't want to possess you or control you but rather want you
to experience the most enriching life you can and help you discover and
fulfill your complete potential, even if its not what I want in the moment.
I don't want or need anything FROM you because I am fulfilled on my own. I
only want the best FOR you. And that is also how I demand to be loved
because I won't settle for anything else."
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Touz a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 1:48am
touz
Coolness: 46150
a+
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» basdini a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 2:06am
basdini
Coolness: 145005
deep
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» moondancer a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 8:16am
moondancer
Coolness: 92070
I bet he yelled at his girlfriend for folding his socks wrong right after he wrote that.
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Zz.ee.vV a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 9:32am
zz.ee.vv
Coolness: 193830
Sophia, what makes you say that?
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» moondancer a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 9:53am
moondancer
Coolness: 92070
well I think he over-exagerates a little bit because I don't know if anybody is that perfectly self-less. I understand his point though, I agree with him and it's a good ideal to follow. I just doubt that anyone could follow it 100%. I mean we all have our limits of how much we can take from a significant other I think and usually compromise is involved and chances are that somewhere down the line he will let his emotions get the best of himself and want something that is only in his own best interest as well.
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Zz.ee.vV a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 10:21am
zz.ee.vv
Coolness: 193830
good thing i didnt give his last name or I wouldnt be able to say this..

the guy has several girlfriends and like ten other girls he sees.

they all love him to death, and he only loves the girlfriends but sees all. he even throws parties at his place where they all attend, and they are all friendly with eachother. i mean theyre probably jealous of eachother but they keep that down because he is such an awesome individual and they know if they get jealous he will stop seing them.

of course you cant follow it 100% if you arent ready to walk away at ANY point. it takes BALLS, confidence, and of course a good level of self-actualization.
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Mike_Stinger a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 10:27am
mike_stinger
Coolness: 51045
If that's your goal Ze'ev, best of luck. It just seems like a bunch of rhetoric to justify his harem/stable of girls he fucks (all of whom love him to death yet he's nonchalant about it all...). It seems like an ego thing....but none of us have likely ever met anyone like him, so what do I know? ;-)
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Zz.ee.vV a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 10:40am
zz.ee.vv
Coolness: 193830
if you knew the individual you'd know much better than t say its an ego thing, but im not about to get into arguments. the guy just wants the best for everyone, and you cant be like that if you dont want the best for YOURSELF first.

latching onto people is NOT wishing them well, and that is why he is ready to walk away if he sees the interaction does not benefit the girl, or him.

he is not nonchalant about it all, his heart breaks for the girls he is close to. yet he is still ready to let them go at any time.

who said thats my goal? :) i do agree with his philosophy on love, but have my own ideas how i like to run my life... and who said i need luck to achieve that? ;)

also, who said you never met anyone like him? ;) ;) ;)
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Mike_Stinger a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 10:43am
mike_stinger
Coolness: 51045
in his first line..."in fact, you've probably never met anyone like me. "

but i know you don't need luck, dude! :-)
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Zz.ee.vV a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 10:45am
zz.ee.vv
Coolness: 193830
hehe, word :)

seriously the guy is very introspective and spiritual and by all means not just about sex
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» moondancer a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 2:28pm
moondancer
Coolness: 92070
yeah but you see.. it's easy for someone to say that they love unconditionaly and always do whats best for them no matter what when that person is at the high-end of the deal. I mean if he has 12 girlfriends of course he is gonna say that cause he wants to be able to do whatever he wants. If they are jealous than how is having so many of them doign what's best for them? They know if they get jealous he will stop seeing them.. that's like blackmail or assuming that HE is what's best for them. How does he have time for all of them anyway?
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» moondancer a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 2:33pm
moondancer
Coolness: 92070
of course they stick with him because they "love" him but that doesn't mean it's best. It basically sounds liek he wrote this to show his girlfriends/recent break-ups what kind of attitude they should have for him.. which is to let him do whatever he wants or else they don't love him.
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Marie_Poppins a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 3:29pm
marie_poppins
Coolness: 38975
That's a very good text!
Thank you for that! It's good to see that I am not alone
in my unconditional loving!!!!! :)
What He wrote is real... for me.
Love is true and we love each other like we are.
We live our day for learn on ourself and grow in our life!
There is no limit in love!
Thats the more True I ever been in love!
I say EVERYTHING on my hart and in my head!
We respect each other!We don,t try to change the other one.
Because the truth is that when u fall in love with someone...
You fall in love with THAT person so you don't need to change him!
When you change someone you transform this person with your projection
of the perfect lover for you! So just take time to think that it's probably not the
person for you at this time! When you are in love
the other one is the best Like he is!
You are not shy to say everything that pass in you head..
You wanna talk about every feeling just for be sure that you are right
(because a lot of time the ego come give you wrong feeling...Fear
you talk about it (naturaly) for clean that from your head!

The key of a good relationship ( any kind.) Is The Communication!

I'M not affraid to say all the things who come in my head!
Sometime I know that it's stupid and not true but it stay in my head
So I talk about it anyway and I don't care if it's stupid.
I have to. :) And I do

Love is Loving someone and not expect from this person.
Give without waiting for a receiving!
Love is free.

Anyway... It's a good feeling! Good for any kind of relations (friend, lover...)

Love
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» mdc a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 4:56pm
mdc
Coolness: 148620
all i have to say is
balls

nothing further
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» moondancer a répondu le Wed 19 Apr, 2006 @ 5:38pm
moondancer
Coolness: 92070
I dunno, I wouldn't wanna be friends with someone who steals from me but I'd still love them unconditionally anyway. Losing friends is not what would be best for them but it would be something that would have to happen for my own benefit anyway. At that point that friend would have the option to decide if what he/she steals from me is better for them or if not stealing from me and having me as a friend is better for them. When I ask my mother to stop repeating herself it's not to control her, it's because it's annoying.
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» nothingnopenope a répondu le Sun 23 Apr, 2006 @ 2:39pm
nothingnopenope
Coolness: 201030
Loving someone, like being in love, is so much work there is no way you could have that love toward 10 people at once..
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» neoform a répondu le Sun 23 Apr, 2006 @ 8:53pm
neoform
Coolness: 339470
Originally posted by MDC...

all i have to say is
balls

nothing further


*dino hops in the car and starts honking the horn*
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» ParadoX a répondu le Tue 25 Apr, 2006 @ 7:34pm
paradox
Coolness: 43115
I didn't follow all the debate for this issue because I have no interest in winning or losing this debate ;)

Every people's point of view about this is good since we're all living with our conceptions.

I find it a good way to see love if not THE way. This is only based on my point of view and I force none to accept it. My point is that too often, I see people fighting each other in a couple, be it physically or emotionally to gain a kind of power over the other one. This is because of ego trips, no ? Unconditional Love is only given and should be given freely to everyone who exists. Deeply loving anyone has nothing to do with sex. It's a state of mind.

Anyway, what is bad in having a harem when everyone is EQUAL in it, where everyone is CONCIOUS that they can't expect an exclusive relationship and they are fine with it. Why should love be an exclusive thing ?

I understand all of you folks to whom this sounds like crazy hippie shit to have the most sex from any situation or to get the most... though try to open up your mind to objectively see this situation, free of what you've been taught. What is the result ?

Sorry for my English, my mind is too tired to efficiently write in this language. I feel the structure of my post is uber shitty ;)

And by the way, I am not in relationship because I know I haven't lost my Ego and that will prevent me from having a good relation.
Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AYkiN0XiA a répondu le Tue 25 Apr, 2006 @ 8:26pm
aykin0xia
Coolness: 166380
i like this text.
Unconditional Love
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