STOP NEGATIVE TIDE ON YULETIDE

Happy Nondenominational Winter Holiday!

Actually, I was going to wish you Merry Christmas, but they won't let
me. You know who they are, don't you?

The "cabal of secularists, so-called humanists, trial lawyers,
cultural relativists, and liberal, guilt-wracked Christians - not
just Jewish people." That's who.

So says John Gibson, in his new book The War on Christmas: How the
Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You
Thought. (I don't come up these book titles, folks, I just report them.)

The plot against Christmas is the flavor of the month in certain
circles. Gibson's book is one example.

Others include the extremely Rev. Jerry Falwell with his "Friend or
Foe Christmas Campaign," which has threatened to sue public officials
and boycott private companies that attempt to de-Christianize Christmas.

There's the evangelical American Family Association, which has
boycotted selected retail chains for using "Happy Holidays" in their
advertising and store signs, instead of Merry Christmas.

There's Bill O'Reilly, who has used his TV show to lambaste retailers
for this Happy Holiday trend and who had Gibson on his show recently,
where they had this colloquy:

It's the liberals

O'Reilly: "See, I think it's all part of the secular progressive
agenda... to get Christianity and spirituality and Judaism out of the
public square. Because if you look at what happened in Western Europe
and Canada, if you can get religion out, then you can pass secular
progressive programs like legalization of narcotics, euthanasia,
abortion at will, gay marriage, because the objection to those things
is religious-based, usually."

Gibson: "You have France or you have... Holland, you have legalized
prostitution, you have drugs... Once you start taking out even the
secular symbols of religious holidays - Christmas trees, Santas, so
forth - refuse to use the word Christmas, you can shove this
religious stuff indoors, out of sight."

In addition to providing us with some laughs, all this raises
philosophical questions:

Can there be an oppressed majority? Can you claim victimhood if you
run the whole shebang?

I ask because about 77 percent of Americans are Christian and 90
percent of Americans say they celebrate Christmas, which means there
must be even some secular humanists out there who deck their halls
with boughs of holly. Fa-la-la-la-la...

If we wanted to retaliate against the 10 percent who are Christmas
refuseniks, it would be easy because we Christians control the state
legislatures, Congress and the White House.

My suggestion is that we pass a law that requires movie theaters and
Chinese restaurants to be closed on Christmas Day. That'll teach
them. Make them stay at home and stew while we have fun.

Ho, ho, ho

In America, Christmas exists on three levels: the cultural, the
commercial and the religious. Darned if I can see it in retreat on
any of those fronts. The icons of cultural Christmas - Santa Claus,
Christmas trees, wreaths, lights, yuletide carols - are inescapable.
Commercial Christmas is so robust that it threatens to eat the whole
holiday. Finally, when it comes to the religious part, this is the
one time of year when you are likely to see even the most lapsed of
the lapsed in a pew somewhere.

So what's the problem?

This happy tableau of peace on earth, good will to men lacks one
thing: a devil.

And Falwell, Gibson, O'Reilly et al. are perfectly willing to produce
one for their own ends, which are mostly commercial: to deliver an
audience, to sell a book, to tease out more contributions to their
organizations.

And if there is scant factual basis for it? Not to worry. An appeal
to prejudice rarely requires facts.

Unfortunately, their endeavor is as lucrative as it is ludicrous,
this business of manufacturing ill will.

To them, on this happy holiday, I offer this refrain: Shut up.

To the rest of you, allow me to wish you a Merry Christmas.