made/ruined: 1607 pages, discovered at theirrys cottage

happy birthday Leelee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish you happiness and much much more

i love you *mouah!*mouah!*
i miss you so much

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
...i hope one day you see this... and you smile.

happy birthday you perv:)

being a lardass

and this fucking migraine

HAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY NIMI!!!!

people say nasty things to try to make people open their eyes because we don't like to watch people kill themselves

it's hard to believe you really care about your own feelings when you're so bent on self destruction

we love you and it hurts to see you forsake us in such a way, actively putting your mind so far away from us that i would worry about the damage that's happening when you can't see someone talking to you right in front of your face more then the damage from some easily ignorable words on the internet. you would rather die then look at me. ok i'll shut up but you're not the only one who feels fucking hurt... i realize i am hated. and i can't go take a huge fucking shot to put these emotions on a shelf and ignore them... i'm going back to bed to cry.

ruined: fukt up shit
ruined: myself
ruined: gaddam migraine

MADE: Liams talks

i am a junkie for life.
branded and condemmed. you all hate me.

made: got to rehab 1 minute late
made: i like and trust the therapist- really opened up
made: saw aaron for lunch (ruined: he's really upset)

ruined: no hope in the future
ruined: the friend who was coming to see me went to smoke meth instead... broken plans... nothin to do now on a beautiful day
ruined: now i'm sure i'm not worth hanging out with... i'm starting to get why my friends want to kill themselves instead of see me
ruined: i hate myself
ruined: crackhead tried to get with me on the metro... fuck we used be in the same artclass... now he's really scary, and after me!
ruined: saw that other crazy fuck that's after me fuck fuck fuck

have you tried psychonaut?
dre might be able to order some

mico! i learned the saaaame thing last weekend

bah.

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

sentence

^me too... i'm a fockin BEETCH

:(

MADE: random visit from Julian yayyyyy!
made: chess
made: talkin to Gar and Sharon on da phone

ruined: ah feel like pupu WHY WON'T THE MIGRAINE GO AWAYYYY?!!??!
ruined: missing out on seeing liam

i have pink glasses they fockin sock

woah that's intense... :(

i'll continue getting fatter

PUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJ!

eating painkillers so i can sleep again

hobby

what's yo secret cloudnine?

dark fucking glasses so i wouldn't have to see this fucking painful world

and some way to end the migraine would be good too

corners

if it were a chinese restaurant i would be all over the spoons

Best party i've been to in a long time.
The sets kept me bouncin the whole night despite being drunk and hungover and not having slept the day before. Just awesome. Couldn't stop dancing throughout Galaksy's and Nitrous's sets... just kept getting better. Thank you to the IDJ crew for a night where i never stopped smiling.

Was great to see so many beautiful people in one place. And Alex was in fine form on and off the mic *props!* - couldn't get enough of that smile.

Location was sweet... but packed. Some strange couch action goin on... anyhoo

BIG BIG UPS

i got off drugs by realizing i care about people more then my fix

yeah i often want to die now
i'll try again soon

nothing's overdone when you've got meth apparently

i wanna see Chelsea and Nat

meeting people and seeing old friends, chillin and swapping stories, props, dancing, dnb, beating fred at chess and checkers, playing games, being too hungover to worry about anything

migraines

everyone (odd but true)

...especially babies like alexis

:(sorry julie

wish you were happy! *plans trip*

made: fun last night
made: encouragement from people
made: people talkin on the bus

made/ruined: mike drenching me in champaign

ruined: killed muh shoes and clothes
ruined: being awkward and confused - bah

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds?

There are twenty of them!

i went to school with her... i'd like to see her again too...

bobo

soup

hmm i stopped drinking between the ages 12 and 16, and i rarely get on VIP lists so it isn't all true, but mostly accurate.

excuse me... i'm tired and emotional (so so true)

i looooooooooooove red wine

i'm getting fatter.

don't sleep!

good show:)