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Wikileaks recently revealed that the CIA where engaging in PSYOPS in France and Germany in an effort to change public opinion regarding the war in Afghanistan. If they're doing that over in Europe, then they're doing that in Canada. We've got American spies trying to change domestic policy through subversion and deceit. Lubbly. You can read more about it over on Slate:
Anyhow, the entire farce reminded me of this quote from the movie The Spy Who Came In From The Cold...
"What the hell do you think spies are? Moral philosophers measuring everything they do against the word of God or Karl Marx? They're not! They're just a bunch of seedy, squalid bastards like me: little men, drunkards, queers, hen-pecked husbands, civil servants playing cowboys and Indians to brighten their rotten little lives. Do you think they sit like monks in a cell, balancing right against wrong? "
Listening To: Futen - Steppin Out
Where do you go
When your tides get low
In the summer dress
Of your drunkenness
I go far from here
Where the silence sleeps
In the very deeps
Of the holy blue
And I dream of you
And I dream of you
Dream of you
Dream of you
What do you say
When the rotted day
Is around your feet
In the noisy street
And your eyes fall rain
From pain from pain
I say never again
Why do you wander
So light though falling
In the underwater calling
I skate like a bird
Drunk on a word
Almost in love
If I only knew
But the best will drive
Through me and you
Why don’t you ask me
How long i’ve been waiting
Set down on the road
With the gunshots exploding
I’m waiting for you
In the gloom and the blazing
I’m waiting for you
I sing like a slave i know
I should know better
I’ve learned all my lessons
Right down to the letter
And still i go on like this
Year after year
Waiting for miracles
And shaking with fear
Why don’t you answer
Why don’t you come save me
Show me how to use
All these things
That you gave me
Turn me inside out
So my bones can save me
Turn me inside out
You’ve come this close
You can come even closer
The gunshots get louder
And the world spins faster
And things just get further
And further apart
The head from the hands
And the hands from the heart
Dark matter is stupid, the real reason the Universe seems to be expanding is that the infinite nature of the Universe causes a constant gravitational pull in every direction at all times. It's naive to think our known universe is the only light out there, just because it's the only light we can see. Our Universe began as infinite nothingness; there was nothing anywhere, but even nothing is space, and out of space came relativity. Relativity created a neutron and an anti-neutron, two particles that were split from nothingness, if ever to meet, would again become space, but even space is nothing. Infinite nothing existed for an infinite time, always the same but still relative. Relativity created a progression, when nothing split, something was created and space had become even more relative, to infinity.
We are possible only in an infinite universe progressing through infinite time, we are what has always been and always will be, a pattern in space time. Celebrate our ability to celebrate!
Listening To: nothing
Here is a little poem that I wrote for my English class.
I hope that if you take the time to read it, you will enjoy it.
Phil made me post it xD.
THE RAVE GENERATION
A world of violence,
pain, suffering, and inequality.
A world where people don’t have personalities.
Teenagers are all the same,
They like the same music,
They dress and act the same way.
But there is us, the party people,
We live in a different world
And we create our own dimensions,
the psychedelic dimensions.
We perceive life in a revolutionary way
and we don’t care about the rules of the universe.
While red and blue gangs kill each other,
we just smoke dope and believe in peace and love,
we live united as a big family and we respect each other.
We are the Ravers,
The kids that bring back the beliefs of the hippies,
today in the two thousands,
under the black lights and the lasers
in the beats of loud techno music.
we don’t care about your rules
Because we are the new generation,
The rave generation.
We are the night-life birds,
The kids who are free to explore their own minds
And who don’t care what the others have to say.
Our lives are fast,
Just as our music is.
We don’t worry about the consequences
Because tomorrow is too far,
We value what we have today
And we’re party all night long.
While people argue
if the new president is gonna be a black or a woman,
or how much money they can make off the oil in Iraq,
We organize crazy parties and don’t care
about politics, or race, or whatever it is,
Because we’re all the same,
We’re Ravers and we have fun together,
And we don’t fight, because our hearts are open only for love.
Some people say we’re in for the drugs…
Yes, we’re all addicts,
But not drug addicts,
We’re people, who can never stop dancing,
We’re the party addicts.
We throw underground parties,
And the police is after us
because we don’t obey their rules.
We just wonna have some fun!
You stare us down,
and say that we dress like clowns
or that we look like insane people,
But let me tell you something,
we wear colours because we’re happy
and because we love our lives.
We wear home made clothes
And don’t care about the designer brands;
We wear plastic bracelets
And don’t care for all the gold we can buy;
We look funny to you
because we don’t own expensive garbage;
But we laugh at you
because your lives are turning around possessions and money
because you don’t understand the real value of life.
We are the Ravers.
The new generation.
The party kids.
We are the people who you fear
because you can’t have the fun we do
and you care what your parents think of you.
Il était une fois, ya de ça pas vraiment longtemps..
En fait c'est la semaine dernière!Je le sais parce que la semaine dernière c'était la fête a mon copain fictif qui à pour seul raison d'être la présente anecdote, qui mit a part le fait que c'était sa fête n'a rien a voir avec tout ça.
Quoi que, si je me rappelle bien..
Il y avait un ver vert portant un autre ver dans un verre, qui se promenait avec un soulier en moins.
Du coup, j'ai pas porté attention, faut dire que ses lacets était bien attaché en velcro.
C'est la que j'ai compris!
Le ver dans le verrre sur le dos de l'autre ver, sortait du bar d'en face.
Le Gars De La porte, lire ici un door man.
Vous savez, le frigidaire de 7 pied devant l'éntré qui sent l'eau de cologne et qui vous empêche d'entré?
Bah je sais pas pour vous, mais moi ils ont toujours une bonne raison du genre "EILLE le saoulons ta pisser sur mon soulier ost!"
C'est pas de ma faute si sa silhouette me rappelle celle d'un conteneur a déchets ou il est bon de se soulager en tout quietude ..
En plus, j'ai mal viser a cause que Monsieur-je-surveille-une-porte-pis-tu-m'énerve me cachais la lumière du lampadaire ..
Pas très brillant, vous en conviendrez?
C'est a ce moment la que le ver et son ver dans un verre on profité du fait que le Gars De La Porte testais le coéficient de pénétration de ses bagues dans ma face, pour filer en douce.
Mais moi, j'ai tout vu! Ouais, c'était du 18 carats ..
Le ver dans l'verre sentait la boisson! Je le sais parce que l'autre puait des pieds étant donné son soulier manquant...
Le Gars D'la Porte , qui est PAYÉ, je tiens a le dire , pour surveiller cette dernière, n'as pas pu évité le gars qui sortait a toute vitesse par la dite porte négliger, soulier a lacet de velcrot en main.
Le Gars de La Porte est devenu Le Gars De La Porte dans la face.
Le Gars De la porte Dans La Face s'étant retrouver par terre , le lampadaire en a sournoisement profité pour me lancer à la vitesse de la lumière un faisceau lumineux qui eu pour effet de m'aveugler!
Et l'autre, celui qui a causé toute cette catastrophe en sortant tel une tank a gaz percé fuyant une arène d'allumette, poursuivait le pauvre ver vert qui trainais l'autre ver dans le verre!
C'était la soirée téquila gratuite ce soir la..
C'est la que j'ai compris que le ver dans le verre n'était pas saoul! Il était destiné a mon marathoniens!
Voyant son amis ainsi sacrifié cruellement , le ver vert à lancé son soulier a lacets de velcro au visage de notre médailler olympique afin de le distraire pendant qu'il sauvait, AU RISQUE DE SA VIE, son chum, le ver dans le verre.
Ce soir la, j'ai appelé un taxi..
Parce que j'me suis finalement rendu compte que peu importe ou j'aurais souhaité aller avec cette histoire, j'irais pas plus loin que vers le ver vert .
So I just had a weird fucking dream, and after waking up, it's like the dream was giving me a message; it wanted me to get something off my chest that's been bothering me for a while now.
I AM A DRUM AND BASS DJ!
Not just any kind of DnB, either;
HARD DnB, AKA Skullstep.
I like dubstep, I've even made a bunch of dubstep tunes and mixes, but that is NOT what I'm into mixing. 99% of every other DnB DJ in the city is suckind dubstep cock for gigs, and I'm part of that one percent that's not going to get down on his knees and follow the fucking trend.
Now don't go mistaking this for an attack on dubstep; it's not. There's some good music coming out of the dubstep camp, but it's not what I'm feeling.
The key word here is FEELING.
I've tried to always play/mix what I am FEELING. I'm not a jukebox standing there to play your favorite tunes or the current trendy style-of-the-year. I've always tried to play what I was feeling.
Much as DJing means playing other people's music, I've never been into it to be just a beatmatching robot; I put myself into a set as much as a guitar player puts themselves into a solo or a singer puts themselves into their lyrics.
When I started mixing, I was into mostly the Trance 'n Bass, some jump-up, and what I called "Big Tunes" (Pendulum, Concord Dawn, really high-energy stuff), and I played that not just because it was music I liked, but because it's how I felt!
Despite having come out of a relationship really bad and being depressed about things, I was still fairly positive and optimistic; I'd discovered a whole new scene and music that I loved, had a ton of new friends, and I was pretty stoned every waking moment. Despite being depressed about some shit in my life, I was still looking up, and it reflected in what I mixed; upbeat feel-good music and huge energetic anthems.
Then some more shit went down, things took a bit of a dip for me; I was living in a stressfull situation, I was poor as hell and could barely afford food and spent every day worrying about how long I was going to be able to live where I was and what I'd do when that ran out..
But I was still smoking weed, still going to see friends, going out to parties and clubs.. I still had some good despite the bad shit that was going down, but the bad took it's toll; I wasn't as into the up-beat, trancy, "happy" DnB anymore. I got into Noisia, Evol Intent, Ed Rush + Optical, The Upbeats; stuff that's still got some energy behind it, but that's decidedly darker than what I used to mix.
Then about 4 years ago shit took a nose-dive; WAY too much stress at home, barely eating 'cause I couldn't afford food, and I ended up wit chrons. At the time no one knew what it was; I went to the ER three times because I thought I was dying, the doctors I saw treated shit like it was all in my head and that if I stopped being stressed out and ate properly it would just "go away".
It went undiagnosed for about 2 1/2 years, and I had to give up EVERYTHING; the food I loved, everything I loved to drink (alcoholic and non), couldn't smoke weed, my gut was too unpredictable to really take gigs (I must have missed about 2/3 of what I was booked for) and the gut unpredictability also kept me from going out (also, almost no one ever fuckin' came over to see me and hang out, watch movies, play videogames, whatever, despite EVERYONE knowing that I couldn't go out because of my health, so THANKS EVERYONE for showing some support for your friend when he needed it most)
So despite being on medication now that the chrons has been diagnosed, that's still the head-space that I'm in, and it's pretty well reflected by what I play and by my bookings; dark, evil, alone, frustrated and pissed off.
Now to take a quick side-step from the main point I'm trying to get to and go on a bit of a tangent (that will eventually weave back into my original point):
I believe that music is a powerful thing. I may be mixing electronic music, but I'm still very much a metalhead at heart, and I've always had a 'goal' or a 'belief' (dunno what would be the proper word to describe it) about musical performances; they have the power to influence people's emotions and their state of mind.
The dark and heavy and evil music I'm into now even more so than what I used to play; like I said I'm a metalhead at heart, and most metal concerts aren't playing radio-friendly, happy, 'safe' music. They play hard, dark and aggresive music. People go crazy and throw themselves at each other in what is essentially a controlled riot.
The music pulls up all their hate, their frustration, their anger, and lets them get rid of it, and at the end of the show, it's like you just stepped out of Fight Club; it feels like everything else in your life got the volume turned down. Nothing matters; you could have someone yelling at you, you don't hear them. For a short period of time, it's like all your anger and aggression has been exorcised from you, and that's what my goal is when I play out.
I don't just want you to dance, I want you to let go. I want you to bring up all your hate, your fears and insecureties, and spend an hour thrashing around like a lunatic, slamming into walls and people, so that by the end of the set you feel like you're about to die; you're exhausted, covered in sweat, sore everywhere, but at the same time you're washed over with a complete feeling of being at one with the universe.. I want you to feel at peace with everyone and everything around you by indulging in your hate and anxieties and aggresiveness and exhausting your supply until you have none of that left.
Anyone that's got a crate full of "big tunes" can just take the easy way out and play some dancefloor smashers and get everyone dancing, hell they don't even have to beatmach shit together, just as long as the follow a 'safe' formula and play what all the blogs are telling them are the hottest thing around and not take any risks.
Cheezy mid-range lead, two-step beat, BLAM you've set the dancefloor on fire, playing the exact same thing every other DJ that plays your style is playing.
Any DJ can take the easy way out and set a dancefloor on fire, but I've never been into the 'easy' way of doing things, and my goal isn't as simple as "I want everyone to dance and have a good time".. I mean yes, I do want people to dance and have a good time, but that's not my main goal. My main goal is to do what no one else is doing, to play what no one else is playing, and to give you something that no other DJ can give you; release.
Release from your stress, your anxieties, your frustrations.. not just a one-night-only escape; I don't want you to excape anything. I want you to confront your dark side. I want you to let the beast we've all got gnawing away in the dark recesses of our minds loose. I want you to stop repressing your dark and aggresive emotions and indulge. Let loose. Go fucking crazy. FEEL something that you normaly don't let yourself feel, indulge it, revel in it, and get it out of your system.
It's amazing how scared people are of those feelings, but it's something we all have. Everyone has a dark side, and it's usually repressed; it's the unwanted family member you hide in the basement when your friends come over; you just put on your smile and pretend it doesn't exist, but it's there, and it's chipping away at you whether you realise it or not, and if you don't let it out to play once in a while, eventually it'll come out when you don't want it to.
So, back to what I'd started off with:
I AM A DRUM AND BASS DJ.
I'm not a dubstep DJ, I'm not a breaks DJ, I'm not an electro DJ, I'm not a fidget DJ.
I look at lineups for nights and parties, and all I see anymore week in, week out, is the same DJs playing the same styles of music that everyone else is playing, and I know I'm not getting a booking there; I don't "fit", I'm not "club-friendly", and honestly, that's just the way I like it.
Would I love to have more gigs? Fuck yeah. But I see so many DnB and hardcore DJs switching off to dubstep, electro, breaks, fidget, and that's what they're all playing.. and if that's what they're really FEELING (there's that word again), sure, go for it!
But let's face it; everyone and their dog is into dubstep, fidget or electro these days. It's what's "expected" at clubs now. It's all about what the blogs are telling you is the Next Hot Thing that you're going to hear at next week's iPod battle, where you can watch people that shouldn't be alowed to go shopping for their own clothes tell you what they think the next hottest tunes are and that if you're not playing their style, you're not cool.
Well, fuck that. I'm not cool, and I'm not getting down on my knees just for a few more gigs.
I've never been about fame, I've never been about money; I'm all about staying true to yourself and bringing people something they're not going to get from 99% of the other DJs out there; passion.
I don't mix with my brain, I mix with my soul, and it's dark and lonely as hell in there.
Choking Victims - Suicide
Sippin on the dragon the other day,
Tompkins Square Park up by Avenue A.
Halfway down the forty and a pig come up to me,
said listen here boy, gotta show me yer ID.
Well living in a police state,
I tell you man, it ain't that great,
I know it doesn't even matter what I say,
but don't ya know there's gotta be a better way?
I'm all alone, I'm feeling bad,
I'm by my self, all I ever had.
I hate my life, I'm such a mess,
I wanna die, I'm so depressed.
And every time I look at you,
I know exactly what to do.
I didn't want to be born, the pleasure all has died,
so now I'm gonna snuff it with a suicide.
Suicide (anok?), it's a better way.
Sit in a hot bathtub, raise a blade
and slit your wrists, watch your life fade to black.
You have this power to kill yourself, it's suicide,
and no one can take that back.
There is no better death than suicide, suicide...
There is no sweetter way...
Listening To: Choking Victims - Suicide