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Jokes
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 8:58am |
 Coolness: 685500 | I'm bored again, so I'll lighten your day up with a funny I just got in my e-mail.
A 90 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No". The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear." "That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» da_instagatah replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 9:49am |
 Coolness: 144140 | *gets a sucpicious feeling fred is gonna bombard this thread with dead baby and satan jokes*
but it could be just me :P |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 9:53am |
| Coolness: 685500 | hahaha
Fred is slipping into unconciousness, yet everytime fred goes to bed, he remains awake. He has remained awake since waking up at 9:30 pm to go to bubblegum. I'm not really awake, and I'm not really asleep. Everything is just a copy, of a copy, of a copy. The doctor tells me: No, you cannot die from insomnia. *flash of tyler in a red jacket* I'm gonna stop reading and watching Fight Club now... |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» da_instagatah replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 9:55am |
| Coolness: 144140 | WHAT?!?!?!
you've been awake since saturday?? i jsut finnished giving eldar shit for staying up for days not you now. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 10:01am |
| Coolness: 685500 | I've had chronic insomnia since I was 10. Medication doesn't even work, and when I sleep, I don't feel "refreshed" from it (except for when it's sleep caused by exhaustion from speed at a rave)
Don't you know? He never sleeps  |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» da_instagatah replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 10:11am |
| Coolness: 144140 | OMG.
thats scary shit. shes evil that samara. so...go take some speed and get exhausted or something. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 10:16am |
| Coolness: 685500 | I'm broke and I ate all my speed at Secret Society. (The MDMA was telling me it was a Really Good Idea)
I can't even aford weed and I don't feel like leaving this place anyways. It looks cold out there and I'm whiny and cranky. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» da_instagatah replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 10:18am |
| Coolness: 144140 | Yeah me too.
im more whiny though. so jsut get drunk off listerene im SURE youll pass out. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 10:41am |
| Coolness: 685500 | I forgot to mention that my mother and her BF are raging alcoholics who are paranoid and lock their alcohol away. We have no listerine. We have barely any food. Yesterday, I ate macaroni and cheese. I finnished off the last of the non-condiment food in the place. They did grocery last week and only get paied every 2 weeks.
I think I'm gonna eat some pickles with mustard. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Agent_Yogurt replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 11:51am |
 Coolness: 133520 | i have the opposite of insomnia
i sleep too much. i cant help it. it's getting crazy these days. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» somekid replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 1:30pm |
 Coolness: 84915 | me 2 like 9-10 hours a night |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» ontheroadagain replied on Wed Mar 12, 2003 @ 3:01pm |
 Coolness: 54245 | I'm broke and I ate all my speed at Secret Society. (The MDMA was telling me it was a Really Good Idea)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH sometimes you reeeeaaalllly gotta think about what your "drug voice" is telling you....i almost walked out the window and DOWN the wall from a 4th story apartment once on shrooms 'cause the little drug voice convinced my brain that "we" had altered physics, and it was possible(Labyrinth style)...luckily i sat down and reasoned it out first hahah i just remembered...that was when those "stare through the design, it becomes a 3-D pic" things came out...2 of my friends were terrifed of a poster all night... |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Thu Mar 13, 2003 @ 1:40am |
| Coolness: 685500 | yeah, that voice and I have arguments all the time. I'm usually too fucked up to care what the "logic" is telling me I shouldn't do. Once, like, 7-8 years ago, a bunch of friends were on acid and they didn't tell me untill after that that was their plan for the night (Do acid while I stay sober and make sure they don't kill themselves 'cause I was the "responsible" person in our group)
So I put on the Marilyn Manson album, Smells Like Children. I haven't seen or spoken to them since that night. Hell hath no fury like Fred when he's anoyed. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Zz.ee.vV replied on Thu Mar 13, 2003 @ 1:43am |
 Coolness: 193935 | man its funny that u guys talk about this... i sometimes get those really stupid ideas when really stoned and the weed voice tells me to do em! like, it'd be really funny if....... i can control it most of the time haha but.... :smokin |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» PoiSoNeD_CaNdY replied on Thu Mar 13, 2003 @ 2:45am |
 Coolness: 91600 | get a second hand college textbook of some subject that doesnt interest you..
i'll garuntee that'll put you to sleep |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» mdc replied on Thu Mar 13, 2003 @ 12:44pm |
| Coolness: 148725 | So here's a funny joke...
A guy walks into a bar and sees Gearoge 'Dubya' and Tony Blair sitting at the bar. He walks up to the bartender and asks: "Is that George BUsh and Tony Blair?" "Yup," the bartender says, "they come here all the time!" So the guy walks up to them and asks: "So, what are you guys doing here?" Tony Blair turns to him and says: "Oh, we're just planning World War III..." "Really? What's gonna happen?" the guy asks. "Well," the British Prime Minister answers, "we're gonna kill 10 million Iraqis, and one bicycle repair man." "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repair man?" the guy asks. "See?" Mr. Bush turns to Tony Blair and says, "I told you no one would care about the 10 million Iraqis!" |
Jokes
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