Bees! Bees!! Aahhhhhhhh!!!!
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Screwhead replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 7:07pm |
 Coolness: 685530 | Found this on another board 
I am visiting my family in Florida for the holidays. I was chillin at my sister's house when we looked out back and noticed a swarm of honeybees congregating on their swingset. There are a lot of kids around, including my sister's 3 kids. They were inside at the time, fortunately. Fuckin Bees! 
A few minutes later they had calmed down. We were guessing they were disturbed from their hive and decided to come here, or something. 
This is where the bees were coming from. A hole in the house behind my sister's place. We told the landlady about it and she didn't seem to care or want to be bothered that she was renting a house to people that had fucking BEEES living inside it. The neighbor called a bee removal company and they said they wouldn't come out unless we paid a hefty fee, but he did recommend waiting until dark and go buy some stuff from Home Depot and squirt them with it and that should kill them off. Well that plan was OK except for 2 things. 1 was that my sister's husband is crazy. The 2nd thing is we didn't want to wait that long nor spend any money. So we did the next best thing. Started fucking with the bees. 
My bro in law chucks a tennis ball at the clump of bees, that was the size of a basketball. He knocked off a fist sized clump of bees, which eventually just flew back up into the main clump. That was pretty boring, so we decide to try something a little bigger.... 
Yeah, a 40lb trailer hitch for a Dodge Caravan. 
INCOMING! 
CLANG! We have bees in freefall! Did I mention he is severely allergic to bees? 
RUN FORREST! 
Pile O Bees 
The bees dust themselves off, and resume taking over the swingset. Every single one pretty much flew back up into a ball of bee death. At this point it was clear these little assholes weren't getting the message. Their arrival in my sister's property was an act of agression, and we weren't going to stand for it. So it was time for some redneck engineering: 
Bee incinerator contraption: - 30 feet of rope - 1 large fire pit - 1 science project board - miscellaneous rags and a bedsheet - gas 
Fill 'er up! Slide the incinerator under the bees and.... 
IGNITION! 
OH THE BEEMANITY 
CARNAGE! 
Amazingly some bees still survived the first wave. What should we do next? 
The next ingredient is 1.5 quarts of PAINT THINNER 
OH YES!!!! 
12/23 NEVER FORGET 
THERE WERE STILL MORE BEES ON THE SWINGSET. CALL IN REINFORCEMENTS. 2 QUARTS OF 87 OCTANE GASOLINE REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR! 
OH DEAR LORD ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN RIGHT NOW. 
Tonight we are having Roast Bee 
The Aftermath. 
Number of allied casualties (er, stings): 0 Number of bees killed: est. 10,000 Number of bee survivors: about 25 or so FOR GREAT JUSTICE! |
| I'm feeling craptacular right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» greatjob replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 7:11pm |
 Coolness: 282395 | YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!
FUCK THE BEES!! WHO NEEDS HONEY ANYWAYS????? FTW!!!!!!! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Lone_Star replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 7:14pm |
 Coolness: 152995 | I hate bees. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AlienZeD replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 7:23pm |
 Coolness: 509500 | i love honey |
| I'm feeling sober right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» flo replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 7:55pm |
 Coolness: 146265 | i love bees and honey too |
| I'm feeling the pain !!!! right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AlienZeD replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 8:22pm |
| Coolness: 509500 | I love honeys as well, bees sting... :\ |
| I'm feeling sober right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» no.name replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 8:26pm |
 Coolness: 129130 | he just fucked the swing.... |
| I'm feeling pissed.. right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Lone_Star replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 9:11pm |
| Coolness: 152995 | I'd rather fuck my swing up than get my house infested with bees. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Rakoon replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 9:42pm |
 Coolness: 175380 | HAHAHAAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAA
Burn!!! |
| I'm feeling ok, i think right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» AYkiN0XiA replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 9:46pm |
 Coolness: 166515 | this is hilarious |
| I'm feeling the moment right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Trey replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 10:59pm |
 Coolness: 102705 | Very interesting and hilarious. Wonder why the bees are on the swing set though. |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DrGonzo replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 11:40pm |
 Coolness: 265895 | loves it. |
| I'm feeling pixelated right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Wizdumb replied on Wed Jan 10, 2007 @ 11:42pm |
 Coolness: 122250 | bahahaha nice, fire cleanses all |
| I'm feeling disgusted right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» DJ_DTM replied on Thu Jan 11, 2007 @ 12:02am |
 Coolness: 86795 | GOLD |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Hoover replied on Thu Jan 11, 2007 @ 12:52am |
 Coolness: 38920 | nice!...would've been better with Napalm!! |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» flo replied on Thu Jan 11, 2007 @ 1:33am |
| Coolness: 146265 | bees sting only if you mess with them... they're my friends :)
*plurs bees* |
| I'm feeling the pain !!!! right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Bleeding_Through replied on Thu Jan 11, 2007 @ 3:11am |
 Coolness: 53755 | i did that with a wd40 can... right on the fucking bees |
| I'm feeling stfu right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» cvxn replied on Thu Jan 11, 2007 @ 3:02pm |
 Coolness: 178585 | funny... but poor bees... |
| I'm feeling fucking horny right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» neoform replied on Thu Jan 11, 2007 @ 3:06pm |
 Coolness: 339605 | Why destroy the swingset like that? just call an exterminator or go after them with some toxic spray of some sort.. |
| I'm feeling internet-less right now.. | |
| Good [+1]Toggle ReplyLink» Amp_Up replied on Thu Jan 11, 2007 @ 3:07pm |
 Coolness: 83275 | Like a gay would do.... |
| I'm feeling sucré right now.. | |
Bees! Bees!! Aahhhhhhhh!!!!
[ Top Of Page ] |
Post A Reply |
You must be logged in to post a reply.
[ Top Of Page ] |
