Displaced Azure Ray It's just a simple line I can still hear it all of the time If I can just hold on tonight I know that nothing Nothing survives Nothing survives I think I'm turned around I'm looking up Not looking down And when I'm standing still Watching you run Watching you fall Fall into me Am I making something worthwhile out of this place? Am I making something worthwhile out of this chase? I am displaced I am displaced And she's my friend of all friends She's still here when everyone's gone She doesn't have to say a thing We'll just keep laughing all night long All night long Am I making something worthwhile out of this place? Am I making something worthwhile out of this chase? I am displaced I am displaced It's just a simple line I can still hear it all of the time If I can just hold on tonight I know that no one No one survives No one survives. « Only fools fall in love. » -Me. Oh... and also, one part of this song is for Dee. Because she's the greatest of all friends and I don't know what I'd do without her sometimes. Like... most of the time. So there. I love you Dee.<3<3

Listening To: "Displaced", Azure Ray

to be melting down like the ice on the poles.
to seep into the ground.
to be the carrot you eat, to make a trip into your digestive system,
to be the food in your blood, to become pure intelligence.

to be a red leaf from the magical tree.
to be the light that makes you see.
to touch people who feel, senses heightened.
to be all consciousness, presense, now.

to go beyond habits.
to be the ever-new water fresh from the stream.
to drip down on your skin, to dry in the blazing sun, to become a cloud and to be rain again.
the light to go through me so you can see rainbows.

to want, red, silk, liquid.
to dance in the rain, the butterflies of a first kiss, when you never know.
to be the buds, green spirals of life.
to be the earth, the mud, and the people dancing.

no competition please no possession.
not in the world, and not in my mind.
no war, only peace, only enjoy moments.
be greater than men, be the divine within.

Listening To: ibojima

Ce discours est la réponse du Chef Seattle en 1854 au gouvernement américain qui lui proposait d'abandonner sa terre aux blancs et promettait une réserve pour le peuple indien. À la lumière des problèmes écologiques, ce texte est à la fois prophétique, poétique et éclairant.

Comment peut-on vendre ou acheter le ciel, la chaleur de la terre ? Cela nous semble étrange. Si la fraîcheur de l'air et le murmure de l'eau ne nous appartient pas, comment peut-on les vendre ?

Pour mon peuple, il n'y a pas un coin de cette terre qui ne soit sacré. Une aiguille de pin qui scintille, un rivage sablonneux, une brume légère, tout est saint aux yeux et dans la mémoire de ceux de mon peuple. La sève qui monte dans l'arbre porte en elle la mémoire des Peaux-Rouges. Les morts des Blancs oublient leur pays natal quand ils s'en vont dans les étoiles. Nos morts n'oublient jamais cette terre si belle, puisque c'est la mère du Peau-Rouge.

Nous faisons partie de la terre et elle fait partie de nous. Les fleurs qui sentent si bon sont nos sœurs, les cerfs, les chevaux, les grands aigles sont nos frères ; les crêtes rocailleuses, l'humidité des Prairies, la chaleur du corps des poneys et l'homme appartiennent à la même famille.

Ainsi, quand le grand chef blanc de Washington me fait dire qu'il veut acheter notre terre, il nous demande beaucoup...

Les rivières sont nos sœurs, elles étanchent notre soif ; ces rivières portent nos canoës et nourrissent nos enfants. Si nous vous vendons notre terre, vous devez vous rappeler tout cela et apprendre à vos enfants que les rivières sont nos sœurs et les vôtres et que, par conséquent, vous devez les traiter avec le même amour que celui donné à vos frères. Nous savons bien que l'homme blanc ne comprend pas notre façon de voir.

Un coin de terre, pour lui, en vaut un autre puisqu'il est un étranger qui arrive dans la nuit et tire de la terre ce dont il a besoin. La terre n'est pas sa sœur, mais son ennemie ; après tout cela, il s'en va. Il laisse la tombe de son père derrière lui et cela lui est égal !

En quelque sorte, il prive ses enfants de la terre et cela lui est égal. La tombe de son père et les droits de ses enfants sont oubliés. Il traite sa mère, la terre, et son père, le ciel, comme des choses qu'on peut acheter, piller et vendre comme des moutons ou des perles colorées. Son appétit va dévorer la terre et ne laisser qu'un désert...

L'air est précieux pour le Peau-Rouge car toutes les choses respirent de la même manière. La bête, l'arbre, l'homme, tous respirent de la même manière. L'homme blanc ne semble pas faire attention à l'air qui respire. Comme un mourant, il ne reconnaît plus les odeurs. Mais, si nous vous vendons notre terre, vous devez vous rappeler que l'air nous est infiniment précieux et que l'Esprit de l'air est le même dans toutes les choses qui vivent. Le vent qui a donné à notre ancêtre son premier souffle reçoit aussi son dernier regard. Et si nous vendons notre terre, vous devez la garder intacte et sacrée comme un lieu où même l'homme peut aller percevoir le goût du vent et la douceur d'une prairie en fleur...

Je suis un sauvage et je ne comprends pas une autre façon de vivre. J'ai vu des milliers de bisons qui pourrissaient dans la prairie, laissés là par l'homme blanc qui les avait tués d'un train qui passait. Je suis un sauvage et je ne comprends pas comment ce cheval de fer qui fume peut-être plus important que le bison que nous ne tuons que pour les besoins de notre vie.

Qu'est-ce que l'homme sans les bêtes ? Si toutes les bêtes avaient disparu, l'homme mourrait complètement solitaire, car ce qui arrive aux bêtes bientôt arrive à l'homme.

Toutes les choses sont reliées entre elles. Vous devez apprendre à vos enfants que la terre sous leurs pieds n'est autre que la cendre de nos ancêtres. Ainsi, ils respecteront la terre. Dites-leur aussi que la terre est riche de la vie de nos proches. Apprenez à vos enfants ce que nous avons appris aux nôtres : que la terre est notre mère et que tout ce qui arrive à la terre arrive aux enfants de la terre. Si les hommes crachent sur la terre, c'est sur eux-mêmes qu'ils crachent.

Ceci nous le savons : la terre n'appartient pas à l'homme, c'est l'homme qui appartient à la terre. Ceci nous le savons : toutes les choses sont reliées entre elles comme le sang est le lien entre les membres d'une même famille. Toutes les choses sont reliées entre elles...

Mais, pendant que nous périssons, vous allez briller, illuminés par la force de Dieu qui vous a conduits sur cette terre et qui, dans un but spécial, vous a permis de dominer le Peau-Rouge. Cette destinée est mystérieuse pour nous. Nous ne comprenons pas pourquoi les bisons sont tous massacrés, pourquoi les chevaux sauvages sont domestiqués, ni pourquoi les lieux les plus secrets des forêts sont lourds de l'odeur des hommes, ni pourquoi encore la vue des belles collines est gardée par les fils qui parlent. Que sont devenus les fourrés profonds ? Ils ont disparu. Qu'est devenu le grand aigle ? Il a disparu aussi.

C'est la fin de la vie et le commencement de la survivance.

Listening To: par 4 chemins

je pensais qu'a ca allait etre funky, disco, house.....finalement cétait du tech house....pas trop de monde, mais super crowd qui dansait au fond la caisse...et y'avait des bons danseurs et surtout danseuses et cétait cool....... ben du fun, autant qu'a Farina....c'était super.

A quiet Paris morning.... Coffee and Cannabis for breakfast. I'm forever comtemplating this summer. At the end of last summer, my life underwent an immense quantum shift. Simple part-time work with lots of party. Then I Whirlwinded off to this city... which is like FranceLand-3D.

I had to learn to be alone. Of course I've got lots of good company here... but the undeniable effect of living in a mega-urban center where most people live in tiny studio appartments is a whole new level of alone.

I wouldnt describe it as loneliness but mass scale solitude. My place is the local Rainbow Family's mush box. So much growth and beauty packed into a 26M(2) box... we can run our psy power within any babylonian system.

I'm ready for another quamtum shift. It's coming up June 15th. I return to Montreal with almost no money to my name and the guitar on my back. I'll need a place to sleep and somewhere to work and spread love. This is a little scary, but I have faith the universe will guide me.

Manifestations are becoming more and more instantaneous and it seems the world is concressing to a whole new point of consciousness. Canada.... I can't wait to live it up with you guys real soon.

Eternal Unconditional Love.

I went to a party last years,during the summer.Expecting to see three well known internationnal artist do their live set.

they dont need to be named,but the fact is that they disapoint me.

this party started like no other.but then came theses guys.


there was a nordlead keyboard on stage and I saw the guy setting up a computer.

the first dude started is set.and remained still for half an hour.

I started to doubt that he was doing anything at all.So me and my ninja freinds all hoods up ,went backstage to see if he was doing anything.and then,one of the most disapointing thing I ever saw.

His so called live set was a big playlist in cubase...hoooo...What with the keyboard?I doubt it was plugged in the sound system...

My point is that this is fraud.

You cross over an ocean,pretending that you will do a live set,wich mean that you will interact with the sequences.that you will do something.

theses ppl tought we were stupid and that they could rape us of our 35 bucks at the door.

I dont say their music was bad,but at least they could have mixed their trackk..ye know..you put them on cds...then you mix them..it is better then faking.

you fake bitch make me sick.

Back in the days,doing a live was the real deal.now ppl think that because its on your pc its a live..

WAKE UP you dumb fuck!!!!

WE kicked out ppl from the stage because they were doing lipsync.

and these fuckers just want the fame..



TO BE CONTINUED...

Listening To: the wind of change

ive been schemeing of tings.
Places to go things to see
that is all.

Jérémie voulait savoir notre top ten! Alors voici le mien...
Les meilleurs endroits ou buzzer... (ou plutôt pour débuzzer...)

1. Dans ma chambre avec des amis de longue date, des coussins, des couvertes et des toutous!
2. Dehors sur la balançcoire dans ma cour (clin d'oeil à Jérémie et Loof ici)
3. Chez Sab à Québec! (Elle est juste trop cool quand elle nous accueille après les partys) ... ou chez Marlène (elle a un superbe petit coin de paradis)
4. Dans mon char (mais là je l'ai fait trop souvent)
5. Dans une arcade en jouant à DDR
6. Au Mont-Royal par une journée ensoleillée!
7. Dans ma douche en me disant qu'il faut pas que je mette l'eau trop chaude
8. Dans un rave avec les meilleurs potes du monde!
9. À l'Authentique, tant qu'le proprio est pas là
10. Dans ma tête, parce que là j'peux être n'importe ou...

Et maintenant, je vous repasse la question de Jérémie,
Et vous, quel est votre Tp 10?

Il est Minuit et demi tapant, en trois jours j'ai eue 10 heures de sommeil... et en tombant dans un état étrangement nostalgique mais pausitif jme dit... quelles sont dont les meilleurs endroits pour Buzzer?

Voici ma première version du top 10!

1 - Sous une montagne de doudous dans un lit chaud une nuit d'hivers... Wooha!
2 - Couché sur un quai flottant la nuit à Boucherville, avec un très ancien pote.
3 - En plein millieu d'un excellent rave dans le gros peak de la soirée!!!
4 - Dans une forêt calme et qui sent bon au printemps.
5 - Dans un bain chaud après un rave éprouvant en me disant : Oh qu'il est tout propre maintenant le Jérémie!
6 - Sur une balançoire une nuit fraîche. Lysandre et Loof peuvent me comprendre là dessus :P
7 - Dans un cadre de porte entre deux pièces qui ont une dynamique totalement opposée.
8 - À la sortie de Twisted Wave à 7h du mat l'hivers, la neige immobile ou qui semble tomber à l'horizontale.
9 - Dans un café Shisha 10 minutes après son ouverture, avec l'air climatisé bien sur ^^
10 - Dans un restaurant funky, à se demander pk tu est pas tout simplement allé bouffer dla poutine.
100 - Dans une chambre de bain de rave humide et sale, ish.
1000 - Dans un char l'été a 40 degrés, ouf mauvaises mémoires ici!
10000 - À un party d'après rave, avec des gens peu plaisants.

Et vous, quel est votre top 10 ;)

Listening To: Three Days Grace - Gone Forever

All the white of God in the skin of a boy

All of hell's temptation in flesh his hair his bone

Your sun shines gold for me tonight

May the clouds part so i can taste your light

Remember that night

I nearly touched your flame

That time was ours

And i fuckin' turned away

How could i be so swayed by earthly guilt, my heaven knows no sin

And the sky was black and dead as a skulls eye

And as cold and lifeless as a corpses touch

The wind whispered... Nothing at all.

I can feel it, loneliness, bitterness

The taste of hollow breathes

And misery

Despair came and crept into me

Becoming me - was sadness and hate

Eating at me - was pessimism

AND THEN IT CHANGED

I met you and all the stars revealed themselves

The sky ripped off her skirt and revealed a sea of lights

You pointed to the moon...

You made the night SING!

Your luminous beauty spread to the sky

For the first time, the night came ALIVE

For the first time, i saw lights in the sky

And the heavens rejoiced and danced for us

Accepted and found - held UP

Special... ALIVE

And no one else could steal or claim the fact that i was like a GOD in your eyez

Man we were ONE!

Connected for that split moment in time, it's like a picture, a mental object i can summon up at will, a feeling i can recall so crystal clear and just as SHARP!

All of God's light in the body of a boy

All of Satan's temptation in his skin his hair his tongue

I burn up in your fire

Your aura's a flaming sun

Blinded by it's light

Drunk off your beauty

I willfully ignite

DISENTEGRATE

Into your skin - into your soul...

Enveloped by the fold.

I am the voice calling from beneath the waves,
I am the ghost imbrued within the flesh,
I've been pulling at these strings but to no avail.

Now it's time for them to see what you can really do,
Now it's time for them to see your true nature
Don't silence yourself this time

I've been blackness slowly consumed by the fog,
I've been a lonely star,
Sparkling in my solitude
Oblivion to my left
Oblivion to my right
I've dreampt empty dreams
Cut down by obsidian nights

With eyes reborn in furious flame
My soul ablaze
New life has been granted
The waves will crash and make way,
Tonite,
As i emerge and slice through the ether,
This time, this time, this time is MINE

I'm the sanctuary to which you run,
No need to follow the end of the rainbow when you can just follow ME,
I am the flames from which you flee
Ever dancing, embracing the frenzy

This You Are
This You Are
This You Are

A God amongst the dead and dying

I've bathed in tears of self-pity,
Crucified myself for the wretched,
It will not happen again.

I've suffered religiously,
If i would pull back the skin from the meat you'd see my vessels are empty.
Blood's been lost, but now replaced, with something darker, ever greater.
No longer human, no, yet to much avail i shall arise.

I've hated myself more than my enemies,
Cut myself for everyone else,
A pumpkin carved and gutted - left to rot,
And all it took was an eruption, to rock my world, now i am reborn.
For this insanity has come forth,
I've heard it beckon before, seducing with it's sweet wet tongue.
No longer will i deny it's call.
I am now, more than ever.
alive

No one came to help me the day i hit the ground,
No - not even 1.
Too pitiful to watch and too ugly to help.
God, i was such a mess.

My funeral was desolate and destitute of friends.
No sympathy, no prayers, no memories...
A forgotten ghost,
Damned and cursed and all alone
Nothing at all.

A plain old tomb,
Deader than dead,
Without a tear to summon my heart,
Not a flower, not a note, not a word,
No, not a soul.

And i cried in purgatory,
Avenge Me Avenge Me,
Yet no one did come.

But now in my darkest hour, On your COLDEST nite, here, tonite, under the radiating moonlight

The Misfit King will arise

Listening To: MYSELF

Finally! FUCK!

Taking a much anticipated PISS after running away from a short lived "party". Pissing at 1:54 am on a Tuesday night. Pissing after an excruciatingly long, 45 minute bus ride (come on! come on!), holding the tide in as my bladder rips at the seams. Pissing after fidgeting and twitching and generally pressing my legs together in a futile attempt to hold the forces between my legs at bay. Pissing after clenching my fists, holding it in through gritted teeth. (hurry hurry!) Pissing after jumping out of the barely parked bus. Pissing after 3 and a half bloody minutes spent running in the blistering cold to find a suitable spot (privacy, privacy at all times). Pissing after nearly peeing myself on the run, bolting to the nearest industrial sized garbage can. Pissing after clumsilly popping my fly down in violent urgency. And it doesn't come out, or "whip" out - it fucking EXPLODES from my trousers.

Aaaaaah.

Pissing like all my problems are emptying out into this forgotten corner. Pissing. Sublime. Pissing. Numbing any and all of my existential demons with this physical crescendo. This is just, aaah. ZEN! The last few drops bring closure to this wonderful cleansing and then it's back to the bleak, black nite. Silence. There is no wind. No cars. No people. Just buildings, streets, and the sound of blood pumping through my head. Just darkness. And it's cold. Cold like paralysis, like i don't wanna move, like i wanna lay down and sleep right here and never wake up. I wish for my bed and my covers and not having to walk 25 minutes to get to them.

Cold like i don't wanna walk home, i just wanna pee forever. Peeing as a state of inebriation. Altered consciousness. Complacency. Contentment. Denial.

I zip it up. My hands are are already freezing. Cold, rigid, pink fingers stare up at me, useless and vulnerable. I stuff them in my pockets and get a move on.


It's the simple things in life. It really is.

***

Another night.

I'm high, high up on this bridge and looking down at my sad, quiet, sedated town. Looking at the lost cars coming and going like aimless bugs in this darkness. Looking down, i see it all. Street lamps glowing yellowish orange. I imagine this whole city aflame. Safe, up here. I watch it all go down. There is no sound except for the flames licking the air, eating and grasping to consime the very sky. I'm listening to "Tales of a Scorched Earth" by the Smashing Pumpkins. I feel larger than life, bigger, stronger and more powerful than reality. I give in to my fantasies, like a junkie seduced by another hit.

And now i see you crawling to me, crawling up this bridge, my bridge. Your scared, don't wanna burn like the rest. Death is now a mist that you can taste, and death is now a bomb and you got only moments left. And here you are, calling to me, wanting to spend these precious last seconds with me. 3.. 2.. 1.. Stop. This town burning to a morbid end, your world dissolving - you need someone, like a helpless dying dog. I knew when the apocalypse came you'd come to me. I always new it. It might be over. but finally your mine. A thing to be remembered and held on to in the lonely labyrinth of eternitiy. Remember your pleading eyes and desperate hands. That kiss i cast on your angelic head. Beautiful hair. You smell like... I hope it stains you well, forever embedded in you - like you in me. Somehow twisted, entwined, i want us bound, the forever damned. Think of me like i think of you. Die for me like i die for you.

It's the end of the world as we know it, and i feel fine. All it took was death to bring you closer to me. The end is our beginning. You and me. The city crumbles in the fire, and i just stare, enthralled. Here on this birdge, i am God.

INTRAGENISIS

The headline basically refers to the constant evolution of all this is me - me and my ever growing universe. I'm sure if i keep unfurling like this, i'll end up in my very own savage garden amongst the stars one day.

As you know, i basically believe that we are all our own Gods living in our own world's - my last blog aimed at impressing this fact using the example of religion. A Christian will see and experience Christian phenomena just like a Wiccan will see and experience Wiccan phenomena - both live in the same world and both will try and negate each others experiences but the fact remains that each person has been touched by something that is true to them. Each person has their "christian" or "wiccan" goggles on respectively, and each lives in their "christian" or "wiccan" realities. So we all have the choice of how to live our lives. Whereas most seem complacent in this pseudo-culture we call North America, i choose to live in my magical sphere where every mystery is upheld and explored to the fullest. I personally could never confine myself to any religion, doctrine or body of thought for my beliefs and ideas are constantly changing, my world is ever shifting - the only thing that remians somewhat stable is this linchpin we call consciousness, and even that comes and goes. I lose myself in sleep, in pleasure, in many things. I've always tried to hold on to the little things that mean so much, little things that should never be overlooked. The way a particular place will make me feel, the way that everytime i think of someone they seem to somehow get a hold of me that very same day, the way that when i'm attracted to someone they're probably attracted to me too, the way my friends are ALWAYS there for me, the way things sometimes fall into place to reveal a glimpse of that "bigger picture".

I've come to a new personal conviction - that not everyone will be granted an after-life. I truly believe we are blessed with this animating presence that inspires movement, thought and creativity - and i also see a lot of people who are too lazy to harness it and self-actualize. Which is fine, to each his own or whatever - but i just feel like, as a human being, as a conscious essence, it is my duty to cultivate my spirit and try and suck up all the energy i can. The more i probe and think and define what it is i believe, the more i can feel my soul gaining density. And i believe that it is this action, this "gathering-up-of-the-self" that will grant me some kind of after-life. I can't help but feel that without a strong sense of self and without potent soul, one cannot survive death. When you know yourself well enough, your consciousness develops a gravitational pull that binds itself together in a big ball of mana. Strong people have strong souls and weak people have weak souls.

The flip side would be the dull and lifeless masses who are content with the mere facade of things. Those who don't think, and don't feel and don't truly live - they are the ones who are doomed to be spiritual fertilizer. Their souls are so empty and filled with pocket's of air, they have no gravitational pull, so the moment they die - their soul will dissolve into spiritual dust and fertilize Mother Earth with pure mana; whereas the dense souls will live on (because they have such a strong sense of self) and maybe even feed on the essence of the dissipated ones.

I don't know if our personal energies will have any form of consciousness - who really does - but i think that those who have harvested themselves throughout their lives definately have some kind of compact, albeit ethereal form waiting after this fleshy shell gives out.

This whole concept came to me as i started noticing the internal "highs" of self discovery, and the way that everytime i gained some real life "experience points" i felt fuller and more REAL.

I am fully aware that my concept sounds self centered and egotistical as i'm basically glorifying those who are like me, intellectual and inward-looking - but whatever! This is how we grow, or at least how I grow. I jot down ideas, scrutinize them, and watch as they either bloom and expand or fizzle out and fade. LET NO STONE BE LEFT UNTURNED, sayeth I!

It'd be interesting to hear what others think of this "theory". I discussed it with a friend (Jason) during our last Rave and, being on e, everything sounded even more grandiose - so we were in total life-and-death territory with this here topic. After we'd hit any sort of intellectual plateau, meaning after any sort of meaningful discussion, we'd celebrate our philisophical victory with some high powered dancing, which totally enhanced the experience by making it so multi-dimensional. We celebrated ourselves, our intellects, the universe for inspiring us, our friends and each other.

Yes, i am still as enchanted with raves as i've ever been. I feel as though most people should experience one rave in their lifetime, just to get a taste of what an egalitarian/celibratory society could be like. Where people of all ages and all walks of life actually come together to dance and be joyeous. That's one aspect i love about Afro-American churches - they truly CELEBRATE life and love and God.

Our society is sooooooooooo lacking; PAINFULLY lacking in the celebration domain. And it's amazing how jamming to music with people all around you can actually bring you together. Anyone who's been to a live concert has tasted it. But at raves, it's so much more intens. It creates this sense of comeraderie that you don't experience everyday, walking down the street. It creates a sense of communal LOVE.

I don't know why singing/dancing and reverly has been pushed away from our culture and deemed "savage". The daylight world, the realm of work/school/money has no time for such celibrations. It's all been pushed into the night-time world. We've been polarized. We have our politically correct selves that don't acknowledge each other when walking down the street, and then we have our night-time selves where we can really let loose the animal inside us. And when i say animal, i mean that NATURAL part of ourselves that needs sex and dancing and drinking and fun and friends and stupidity and togetherness and revelry. We NEED it. But it's been confined to out sub-cultures. Those who are looking to fulfill these animalistic needs have to go searching for outlets... Whereas, say - in American Indian culture it's part of daily life! They have pow-wow's, and festivals, and talking circles - activities to bring people closer together. They were a true tribe, a true PEOPLE who cared about one another. A people who partied together and felt for one another the way brothers and sisters should.

Another thing i find enchanting about ancient cultures is the way they connect with the natural mystery of the universe. And the way they connect with each other. And the way life was art, and life was ritual, and life was grand and beautiful. Can you imagine living in a monolithic city? Surrounded by megalithic buildings that wrap you inside a gigantic world of AWE inspiring AWESOMENESS! If you've ever stood next to a monolithic statue or an ancient ruin - it feels surreal. It adds a touch of magic to everyday life. Waking up to the sun rising between two gigantic pillars? Dancing around a bonfire, surrounded by huge columns that protect you like force-field made of stone. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah - those were the days!
Besides life and death and ancient civilizations i've also been thinking a lot about LOVE. That's right boys and girls, the big elle oh vee ee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been hit by a crimson arrow and have fallen INFATUATED with this angelic creature wrapped in the skin of a beautiful earthen boy! I'm too pussy to ask him out cuz it would break me to hear him say he doesn't like me... And when i break i SHATTER, and it hurts way too much to be broken to pieces. When i see him it's like this, a violent twist of the heart/a furious gush of blood/a profusion of warmth/and a feeling that i'll never go hungry again.

So the thing is i love so many people, and so deeply, that when i go to heaven, i want to be with everyone FOREVER! Do you guys ever get selfish like that? I guess we'll each have to spend time with different people at different times in heaven, sort of take turns. But without a BODY and without SEX, what will differentiate the different types of love?

I mean, what'll be the difference between your love for your husband, your friends, and your family when your a ball of light floating in heaven...? Know what i mean?

We basically define romantic love according to one thing: sex. Which isn't right, but it's the way our society has grown to see it.

And without sex we can probably love so many MORE people!

Also, i often wonder... When a religious person loses their husband or wife, and they remarry - who are they planning to spend eternity with? Husband number 1, or 2, or BOTH!?!?

There is a quote from Nietzsche that i would like to invoke at this moment and time and here it is:

"Love for one is a barbarism; for it is exercised at the expense of all others. The love of God too."

And lastly, i have two poems to offer. One of them is more of a feeling, it's more of an excercise in verbal aesthetics... Which i rarely do. But the other one is dear to me. It's like my "Great Inversion" except less Martyr and more Messiah:

Dead St@r Lament

Lonely stars flicker out and fade
In the oily black of night
So sick in their celestial graves
So dead, so cold, so frail

Shooting stars commit suicide
Jumping off into oblivion's mouth
All they get is a flash and some fairy dust
And then the rest is silence...

One by one they'll all explode
Spilling their shiny guts in outer space
It's grizzly, sick and hopeless, and i can't bear to face:

We can't save the stars
That are so remote
So desolate in their place
It's a black winter everyday for the silent ones
(how they dazzle and amaze)

Wish for change and wish for fortune
It's all just lost in vain

13 Everyday
13 Everyday
We don't dance/We just writhe in pain

Scroll

Burn the "Books"
Bury your senes
And we'll summon the waters down

Torrential rains breed purple stars that blossom in your hearts.

The powers that they call upon are no longer strong enough
The powers that they call upon have been ravaged by orange RUST

I've been ripped apart and sewn back together
Vivified by the work of the fire

And now we'll dance, dance the primal dance
Shake the cosmos far and wide
Dance, dance the feral dance
We'll deify ourselves

Halos bloom like tongues of flame
Flickering above our heads

Let me be your guide
If you'd just follow me down,
Secret things, hidden things have yet to be found.

We are the wandering ones, ever searching for our little piece of light

Now here i am

Engulfed
Enraged
Imbued with Promethian Flame
Bale-fire Boy ignites!

Traversed the violet streams that exists only in our dreams,
The truest place, the only place - where ones like us can meet

Third eye pride, we stand demarked - NOT stigmatzed
Cocked and loaded, Alchemized,
Here is what i've learned...

Where you see walls
I see doors

Where you see walls
I see doors

Where you see walls
I
SEE
DOORS


*AND LASTLY I WANNA SHARE MY EXCITEMENT FOR ALL THE COOL NEW CD'S BEING RELEASED THIS SUMMER BY - Courtney Love, Tiger Army, Marilyn Manson, NIN, MIA, The White Stripes... Omg - it feels like the 90's again... Cuz i'm actually EXCITED about new music. WOOOOOOOOOOH! Ice cream and out-door parks and STUFF!

Listening To: Courtney Love

Deviens-tu c'que t'as voulu?
Deviens-tu c'que t'avais vu?
Deviens-tu c'que t'aurais pu?
T'as-tu fait c'qu'y aurait fallu?

Mais qu'est-ce qu'es-tu, mais qu'est-ce que t'es?
Mais qu'est-ce qu'es-tu, mais qu'est-ce que t'es?
Ma moman pensait, mon popa aussi
Que pour être aimable et aimé d'autrui
Pour aimer c'qu'on fait, pour aimer sa vie
Faut faire c'qu'on aime, c'qu'on a envie
Pis l'faire à fond, pis y mettre le prix
Pis être dur parce que c'pour ça qu'tu vis
Pis quand t'aimes pour vrai, quand t'aimes la vie
Dis qu'est-ce tu penses, pis pense donc qu'est-ce tu dis, t'sé...
C'est là qu'on s'rend compte si t'es t'un front
Ou bedon si t'es t'un roadie

Deviens-tu c'que t'as voulu?
Deviens-tu c'que t'avais vu?
Deviens-tu c'que t'aurais pu?
T'as-tu fait c'qu'y aurait fallu?

Ma moman l'pensait, mon popa me l'a dit
C'qu'y a d'plus dur c'est d'être simple dans vie
T'auras beau dire non, t'auras beau dire oui
Y'a du monde qui aime pas ça que t'aimes ta vie
Y'a du monde qui va peut-être te traiter d'pourri
Parce que tu passes, parce que tu choisis
Tu peux rien faire si y ont pas compris
Que t'es aimes pareil même si t'es parti, t'sé?
Ça va t'arriver d'pas dormir
Ça va t'arriver d'avoir le goût d'haïr
Ça va même t'arriver de douter
De douter d'toé

Deviens-tu c'que t'as voulu?
Deviens-tu c'que t'avais vu?
Deviens-tu c'que t'aurais pu?
T'as-tu fait c'qu'y aurait fallu?

Ouin, Back to the Groove on peut pas dire que c'était la soirée de l'année...
J'ai vu des bons commentaires pourtant... et je suis surprise!

J'suis arrivée là-bas relativement de bonne heure parce qu'un ami avait pas de cash pour son billet et il voulait que je le rencontre tôt... résultat, on a attendu dehors parce que les portes ont ouvert en retard. En rentrant, ils nous ont dessiné un happy face sur la main au crayon indélébile, c'tait ben cute, mais j'suis tannée de me faire demander c'est quoi à la job! (même avec une laine d'acier j'arrive pas à le faire disparaître!)

La salle était super cool, avec les rampes de skate, la piscine de toutous (dans la salle hardcore), la mezzanine et le petit escalier... Ouais, le maudit escalier, genre un trou dans le plancher avec un escalier pas très large dans lequel les gens manquaient de se péter la gueule en voulant descendre. Jusque là, c'était encore pas si pire, jusqu'au moment où ils ont peinturé le tour avec de la peinture orange pour qu'on voit mieux. Ouais, on voyait mieux, mais on s'est surtout beurré les mains et les pantalons de peinture orange fluorescente!

Mais attention, c'est pas tout! La musique, personnellement, j'ai pas trouvé ca débile... Mais le problème, c'tait pas tant la musique en elle-même, mais plutôt le fait que les deux salles n'étaient pas vraiment séparées, ce qui faisait en sorte qu'on entendait les deux DJ en même temps et que le style musical était clairement pas le même! C'était atroce de ce côté là! Clairement débuzzant, surtout pour les gens qui avaient un minimum de sens musical...

Après ça, ben, tout le monde le sait, la police a débraqué et ils ont busté l'party. Moche... très moche... Ils ont aussi réussi à disperser le monde assez rapidement, résultat, les groupes ont été séparés pis ça a encore plus fait chier!!!!!

Pour notre, part, comble de malchance, ma gang a voulu aller dans un autre party, dans un afterhour (opinion personnelle: beurk!!!!). Et imaginez vous donc qu'en plus... La police a débraqué pis ils ont busté ce party là aussi!!!! Come on!!! Quelles sont les probabilités que la police buste 2 party où je me trouve dans la même nuit!

Ca ressemblait à une mauvaise blague du poisson d'avril, du genre: "Cette nuit on fait une joke à la populace noctambule de montréal, dans la nuit du 31 mars au 1er avril, YAURA PAS DE NIGHTLIFE DANS LA MÉTROPOLE!!! MOUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Anyways, j'espère que les prochains party vont se passer sans anicroches! J'ai hâte de pouvoir tripper moi!!!