Je joue de la cuillère pour des extraterrestres, qui eux, préfèrent le trombone. En écoutant cette histoire, j'ai réalisé qu'il y avait anguille sous roche. En un éclair j'ai tout compris. Je jouais seul dans la rue quand soudain, une branche me tomba sur la tête. Une branche de bananier... Les papillons se sont alors envolés, l'arbre déversant ses fruits, libérant des ondes d'odeurs sucrées tout au long de l'écorce. Mon tablier orné du logo de Monopoly et d'une brûlure de cigarette - ce tablier qui me donne des airs de sorcier brûlé sur la croix - était dû pour la poubelle. Cette dernière était déjà remplie de rognures d'ongles et de plumes d'autruche trouvées sur mon gazon. Tout un pot-pourri! Les odeurs qui s'en dégagèrent chatouillaient mon cerveau et me firent tomber sur le plancher de mon atelier de soudure. Ayant percuté une manivelle lors de ma chute, j'hallucinai un tourbillon d'étoiles. Étant velu comme un ours, on avait de moi l'image d'une brute. J'étais un sans-papiers...

"la rupture est un sujet que j'aime bien traiter en relation avec celui de la renaissance: la pulverisation du connu qui est si securisant en un monde hostile ou l'etre doit ... OH HORREUR ... se devoiler devant les autres pour ... OH PUDEUR ... savoir s'ils sont compatibles avec soi!"

Que repondre apres une telle eloquance emplie de sagesse.
Merci?

Just placed a record order.

Callide
Calibre
DJ SUV
DJ Zinc

And a couple compilation LPs

The forecast calls for sexy.

Listening To: raiden

** Version feminine ---
L’attente est une partie nécessaire
À l’amorce d’une relation d’amour
Au temps des écris embrasés de Voltaire
Une missive non livrée pour faire la cour.

Lors des tendres romances médiévales
Les belles guettaient l’arrivée de leur cheval
Avec la réponse ardemment désirée
D’un noble, ou non, du royaume d’à côté.

Puis les technologies changèrent la donne
Et ce fut la sonnerie d’un téléphone
Qui a un moment opportun fait sursauter
Le cœur de celles qui se croyaient détestées.

Aujourd’hui, nous sommes à l’ère du virtuel
La séduction survient entre deux courriels
En regardant milles fois par jour son Hotmail
Pour une invitation au septième ciel !

Inspiration F.B.

** Version masculine --
Le rejet est une partie nécessaire
À l’amorce d’une relation d’amour
Au temps des cris embrasés de Voltaire
D’une exhortation non livrée pour faire l’amour.

Lors des interminables romances médiévales
Les gueux guettaient l’arrivée de leur âne
Avec les chèvres ardemment désirée
D’un noble, ou non, du royaume d’à côté.

Puis les technologies changèrent la donne
Et ce fut les professionnelles du téléphone
Qui a un moment opportun fait éjecter
La semence de ceux qui seront facturées.

Aujourd’hui, nous sommes à l’ère du virtuel
L’assouvissement survient entre deux courriels
En regardant milles fois par jour son Hotmail
Pour une photo a caractère charnel!

heu... Merci Jose Manuel pour cette correction plus virile!

Toutes ces trépidantes photos ont été prises par Doc Funk, notre photographe national! Merci Gilles! XX

Mon portrait caractérologique


Vous êtes un individu extrêmement difficile à définir, car votre personnalité est fluctuante, variable, en laquelle le meilleur et le pire peuvent se côtoyer, se succéder. Mais si l'on vous trouve difficile à comprendre, vous ne vous comprenez pas bien vous-même.


Bien souvent, vous éprouvez une sorte d'écartèlement entre des tendances contradictoires qui sont en vous : aspirations sublimes et réalités banales. De ce fait, on vous reproche souvent votre ambiguïté et votre versatilité, qui peuvent vous faire vous rallier alternativement à des thèses opposées, ainsi que votre manque de goût pour les solutions tranchées

Pour vous, le raisonnement est beaucoup moins important que la sensation ou l'émotion. Vous ressentez en vous des résonances qui échappent bien souvent aux autres. Cela vous donne un don de visionnaire, qui est toujours plus ou moins latent chez vous.


Les esprits méthodiques pourraient vous reprocher de procéder souvent à d'invraisemblables amalgames. C'est que votre imagination vous rend sujet à des visions, des aspirations, des pressentiments et des prémonitions qui vous font vivre souvent dans une sorte de rêve éveillé.


Il existe chez vous cette perception intuitive des êtres et des choses, cette sensibilité, cette émotivité, que l'on taxe souvent de sensiblerie, mais peuvent être compassion sincère. De là aussi votre faiblesse, car à force de recevoir toutes les empreintes, votre personnalité propre risque de devenir indiscernable. C'est pourquoi une sensibilité aussi vibrante constitue, selon l'usage que vous en faites, soit un avantage réel, soit un inconvénient majeur.


Votre âme rêveuse, sensible à toutes les concordances, établit facilement une relation magique avec l'Univers. Cela peut vous valoir des joies extrêmes dans la contemplation des spectacles de la nature ou cet embellissement que cette manière de sentir apporte à tout ce qu'elle touche. Mais cette sensibilité rend également votre âme très vulnérable, portée à ressentir douloureusement toutes les laideurs, physiques et morales, du monde.


Votre timidité réelle, si elle n'est pas maîtrisée, risque de compromettre votre intégration sociale. Vous vous sentez souvent plus ou moins démuni, désemparé, face à des êtres mieux ancrés que vous-même dans la réalité, et avez d'autant plus besoin de vous sentir épaulé et sécurisé.


Plutôt indolent, vous aimez vivre au jour le jour et au gré de votre humeur changeante, sans vous faire trop de soucis, sans vouloir vous imposer une ligne de conduite bien précise. Votre vie imaginative recèle des illusions de toutes sortes. Vous ressentez toujours un vif désir d'échapper aux réalités, qui vous font peur ou vous ennuient.


Cependant, vous êtes capable de vous plier avec bonne grâce à une discipline imposée de l'extérieur. Votre bonheur dépend en grande partie de la bonne volonté des autres : vous aimez qu'on s'occupe de vous, qu'on vous chouchoute, conseille, guide, qu'on prenne des décisions pour votre compte.


Il est dans votre intérêt de veiller à une prise en compte des réalités matérielles, des efforts quotidiens, afin d'équilibrer vos perceptions, vos intuitions, voire vos prémonitions.

Listening To: www.asiaflash.com/

heres to seasonal
madness, part-time
relatives and
substitutes for love

Listening To: hawthorn heights

___________________


Rien ne paraît inaccessible au Dragon de Feu. La difficulté le stimule et l'amuse. L'ardeur qu'il met à accomplir un projet est proportionnelle au caractère grandiose que ce projet offre. En outre, il aime mener cent combats à la fois, même s'il sait que le risque d'épuisement l'attend en permanence.
Ce qui est vrai de l'homme l'est aussi de la femme Dragon de Feu. Homme ou femme, ce Dragon est obsédé par la volonté de puissance dans le domaine de l'amour. On voit sans peine que cette stratégie de vie ne peut apporter au natif de réelles satisfactions: il cherche une fausse compensation pour un vrai mal qui est son manque de confiance en lui-même.


La règle d'or que le Dragon de Feu devrait suivre pour trouver le bonheur serait de travailler pour le bien de la collectivité. Il a toutes les conditions requises pour y parvenir. De nombreux Dragons de Feu, en effet, ont su exploiter leurs immenses capacités à des fins constructives et se sont taillé une place honorable dans l'histoire.

Le natif doit se méfier d'une certaine naïveté dont il fait souvent preuve. Il a tendance à être trop idéaliste, voire utopiste, à évoluer dans les nuages — ce qui peut l'amener à perdre le contact avec la réalité et à avoir des jugements superficiels. On ne saurait trop lui conseiller de mener une vie moins tumultueuse et de s'accorder régulièrement des moments de recueillement et de réflexion.


Il faut avouer que le Dragon de Feu a d'excellentes qualités de cœur. Malgré sa puissance, ses ambitions démesurées et ses manières flamboyantes, c'est au fond une créature tendre et chaleureuse. Ceux qui ont accès à son cœur peuvent s'estimer chanceux.

La sensualité du Dragon de Feu est à la hauteur de toute espérance. Ses prouesses sexuelles sont dignes de Casanova (ou de Lucrèce Borgia, s'il s'agit de la femme Dragon de Feu). Un conjoint (ou un partenaire amoureux) serait bien avisé de chercher à enchaîner son Dragon de Feu en lui faisant croire qu'il est l'homme le plus merveilleux du monde. Car le natif n'est généralement pas volage par nature mais plus simplement par soif d'attention et d'admiration.


A part son côté donjuanesque, ce Dragon a une bonne moralité. Il a le sens de l'équité, de l'honneur et du devoir. C'est surtout grâce à ces qualités qu'il est aimé de tous.


Le Dragon de Feu est incontestablement le Dragon des Dragons, c'est-à-dire un Dragon chez qui le côté actif, dynamique, atteint son paroxysme. Son caractère est riche de potentialités surprenantes.

Listening To: www.asiaflash.com/

Montreal is a city with a lot of djs. While everyone wants to be a dj, there just aren't enough party to have all of them play. On top of that, the style of music a dj plays will have a huge impact on the gig he or she gets. This one is for you, the new djs who want to make it big on the rave scene.

Lately, I got a lot of emails/private messages/comments on my profile from djs who want to get booked. I am flattered by the attention. Of course, I won't be able to book them all. To be honest, most of them probably won't be playing at any of my parties any day soon. It's not that they suck, but I can't give everyone a gig. I have different reasons why I'll book a dj or not, same goes for every promoter out there. If you are one of those djs and you're reading this, don't despair. I NEVER say out loud who I'd book and who I'd never book. It gives me the freedom to change my mind. Now, I'm gonna start with what makes me book a dj. I can't speak for every promoter out there, but this is what I like personnally.

First, there's basic dj skills. We can split that between technique and track selection. The point of it all is that people dance. You can be the most technical dj in the world, but if people can't dance to your music, you're not getting my vote. On the other hand, if you're just playing one track after the other with zero technique, you're just being boring, and I'll probably choose a better dj over you. Track selection, now, is probably the most important thing. Don't play the same thing over and over again. On the other hand, having your own sound that people recognize can be pretty good. I personnally like djs who innovate. Knowing what kind of sound a promoter likes can help you promote yourself.

Second thing is popularity. Let's face it, promoters want to sell tickets. If you're popular, then people will be willing to pay to hear you, and you might get more gigs. Not everyone is good with people, and not everyone has charisma. This is the sad reality of the scene. Charisma is an important part of djing. If you don't have it, you're missing one of the skills. Whatever people say, it's more fun when the dj is smilling at the crowd and talks to ravers before and after his or her set. In some cases a dj with no skills other than charisma will make it big. As a promoter, I personnally value Charisma a lot.

Overall, If you want me to book you, you have to either impress me with your skills or bring a fuckload of ravers to my party. Of course, if you can do both, you get even more chances of playing.

Finally, let's talk about attitude. This is where the "cool" comes in. First, don't be pretentious, ever. Djs who start acting like they're better than everyone cause they play records are just annoying. We don't care if you think you're better than other djs, or if you're too cool to dance. I'm personnally more inclined to book a dj who still believes in the scene. Just cause someone is spinning doesn't mean this person can't contribute. By now, you probably have all realized that I believe in old school rave values. I believe every one should contribute to the party in a small way. New djs included.

Attitude is also important when looking for gigs. This is very personnal, but I absolutely hate it when a djs asks "you want to book me?" On the other hand, if you send me a demo at infoprojectmayhem@gmail.com and ask me what I think I'll probably be more inclined to listen to it. The difference is that instead of asking directly for a gig, you're giving a mix you did as a gift, and just reminding the promoter that you exist, without asking anything.

Now, there's asking to be paid. First off, you're absolutely within your right to ask to be paid. It's ok to play for free as a favor, but you still invested money in your records and equipment. However, think about the size of the party you'll be playing at. It's unrealistic to ask for 100$ if you're playing at a small 100 people party. You should also think about how much you're worth. I personnally like paying djs in function of how many ravers they'll get me. Bigger, more popular names, should get paid more than new djs. It's all a question of experience and quality of the service. These are basic laws of capitalism.

For now, I suggest you think about all of this when looking for gigs. While this was intended for new djs, experienced djs can learn someting from it as well. I really hope that reading this was useful to all you djs out there.

Listening To: Rave music!!!!

Summers in the sand. Or is it those sticky summer nights with a 40 in hand. No matter how many games this wild mind of mine may play with me, I've still got those memories. I'll never forget mush tripping in the forest with Katie. That very well might have been one of the most magical mush trips I've ever had. Rare moments like that, where certain factors come into play so perfectly are so fleeting. They're over before you know it, yet they still reassure. I wish i could live in certain moments forever. Ignorance truly is bliss. I wish I could know less, think less, exist more, But that throws into jeapordy the whole nature of existence. But i must remember that living is easy with eyes closed. We musn't ignore, but what the fuck am I ignoring? Melting into hallucinations is such a blissfully perfect escape from anything. All troubles can dissapear and nothing exists but the colours before you. I like colours.

I first heard about L.S.D. when I was about eight. I was riding in the back of my parents car listening to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by The Beatles. When I asked my parents what the song was about, they informed me of what I now understand to be the 1960s psychedelic revolution. They told me of the thing the Beatles took which made them feel like they were in a dream when they were in reality. When my interest peaked, I said that sounded amazing and my parents told me acid was the worst thing on the face of the earth. So i put it out of mind.
-"Yo man, Josh told me once, when he took acid, he thought he was in two rooms at once!"
-"Ha. Acid. Josh is jokes man, I dunno about taking acid."
And like that I started looking into acid seriously. When I learned of the influence and potentiel is had for music, art, psychology, psychosis and self-exploration I right away knew this was a psycotrope unlike any other. My kinda of psychotrope. After much comtemplation and alot of looking around i got my hands on some mild acid. But it was acid nonetheless.

I can remember that evening with complete and utter clarity. It was Katie's birthday, everyone was celebrating, getting smashed and i dropped secretively. At least at first. Nothing much happened, until I got to the piano. I just understood it in a way i never had before. The keys stopped being keys so much as an interface that I used to directly tie emotion into music. I understood music in a visual and graphic sense and have expanded exponentially ever since. I remember lying down on Billy's roof listening once again to Lucy with Diamonds staring up into the stars. This was the first time I experienced the psychedelic void.

The stars started all melting into each other and dancing with the music. All concepts of my location, my surrounding, time and space vanished. The music of the Beatles became my universe. There was no need for war, hate and anger in this world. If everyone understood that, the world would be a much better place. The Beatles filled me with all five senses. I even tasted their music in this divine overstimulation of all of my senses. That was true bliss, and that song still carries me there. There is something deeply and unbelievably satisfying about the simplicity of that existence. You don't know what responsibilities are, you are simply content with being alive and that is something I feel every human being should experience.

Not that its all spiritual enlightenment, of course. Alot of laughs, good times and great memories with people you love, memories that you will carry for a lifetime.

Listening To: Liszt Hungarian Rhapsodies

well i just made my account here on rave.ca because my friends convinced me its better than edmm.ca lol.

Listening To: Unknown - Overly Denotational Dishonest Road

...then do E, it's fun for the whole family!

Seriously, while you all know I'm not a big drug fan (at least, not anymore), I do understand that raves wouldn't exist if it weren't for those little pills. In fact, drugs have shaped the scene into what it is today. Just listen to oldcschool music, from the time people used to do E, the cheezy trance that came after, that emphasizes even more on the drug's effects. Listen to hardcore now, have you noticed that most people can't dance on today's hardcore without doing speed? I know some people who can, but most need an energy boost in pill form.

Now, let's look at our own scene, here in Montreal. Montreal is a city that loves speed. Same goes for Quebec city. Since our ravers like speed, they like their music hard. They also like to dance, a lot. Just read rave reviews. Most raves who had a good time talk about how much they danced, more that the people they've met. I know I'm generalizing here, but it seems like people care more and more on the music being as hard as possible, and less about meeting other ravers. This is simple, speed, a drug that makes you move, took Ecstasy's place.

You probably know where I'm going with this. The vibe changed. You wonder why raves just aren't this "magical" anymore? Why Plur died? It's kinda frustrating to say, but it could be a little pill's fault. Now, let's do an experiment. If you don't do drugs, please don't start taking them after reading this. Drugs are dangerous, but are still a personnal choice that should be respected. Now if you do take drugs, try this, next party do E. Ask the rest of your crew to do E as well. You'll see the difference.

Oh, and for the record, speed today is full of methamphetamines, wich are freakin dangerous, as well as addictive. It's your own personnal choice, and as I said, I won't think less of someone for doing drugs. I'll only think less of someone for how stupid the drugs made him, but I'll leave that for another blog entry.

Have fun, and stay safe kids. :)

Listening To: Try to guess

il doit avoir plus dans la vie que se reunir dans le noir, se cachant derriere la drogue pour se convaincre que tout va bien, mais tout ne va pas bien.
on m'a fait remarquer que j'ai un oeil plus petit que l'autre; je n'ai pas ose repondre que c'est pour cacher le manque de vie qu'il y a derriere.
un jour je saurai affronter mes demons, un jour je saurai m'affronter moi meme; un jour j'arreterai de me cacher derriere des paradis artificiels et superflus parce que j'ai peur d'affronter la vie, la realite; peut etre qu'un jour j'arreterai de rester immobile face a toutes les possibilites offertes, j'apprendrai a sauter sur l'occasion au lieu de la laisser filer. foncer au lieu de couler.
ou peut etre je continuerai a cultiver cette foutue apathie qui m'envahit et qui semble controler ma vie, continuer d'etre spectatrice au lieu d'etre protagoniste, se trouver des excuses pour se reconforter de son existence mediocre. demain, peut etre.

en attendant demain, aujourd'hui je ne fais rien pour ameliorer cette situation, je suis fatiguee, je suis lessivee, alors si vous me cherchez, vous me retrouverez blottie dans des draps froids a attendre que les beaux jours reviennent - en esperant qu'en retrouvant le soleil je retrouverai le gout de vivre.

Listening To: mano <3

'Un long dimanche...''

Tenter d'expliquer
Que dans cet chambre j'y ai perdu la clé
Depuis, je tente de la retrouvrer
Encore embêtée par mes gestes négligés
J'abandonne tout espoir, je délaisse toute volonté
Douloureuse passion disparaît sans raison
Cesse de te moquer de ma fragilité
Et vlan! Une claque au visage
Retour à la réalité
Couper ce mince fil qui ne mène nul part
Ainsi se termine l'amour
Comme un souffle trop court.
Confusion.

EH!

Listening To: Azriel - n.n.

I'm going to need as much help as i can get, so here goes: I am travelling SOLO to South America from Feb to May 2007. Anyone care to share their travelling experiences in Peru, Chile, Argentina and Bolivia for a young marginalized white chick travelling alone and with very litle cash?


Hostels, squatts, cheap grub, cool people to meet, local sound systems to party with, couches to crash on, black market job opportunities, things to do/places to go, things/places to avoid etc..



Or if you just want to help me out on my adventure you can always just email me with a donation... :)

Listening To: belladonnakillz

Is it cruel or kind not to speak my mind
and to lie to you rather than hurt you?
And I'll confess all of of my sins
after several large gins
but still I'll hide from you:
hide what's inside from you.

And alarm bells ring
when you say your heart still sings
when you're with me.
Won't you please forgive me?

But no longer hear the music
Oh no no no no no

And all the memories of the pubs
and the clubs and the drugs and the tubs
we shared together,
Will with me forever

But all the highs and the lows
and the to's and the fro's,
They left me dizzy,
Oh won't you please forgive me
I no longer hear the music
Oh no no no no

Well I no longer hear the music when the lights go out,
Love goes cold in the shades of doubt
The strange fate in my mind is all too clear
Music when the lights come on
The girl I thought I knew has gone,
And with her my heart had disappeared...
Well I no longer hear the music
Oh no no no no no
All the memories of the fights and the nights
and the blue lights, all the kites
We flew together,
I thought they'd fly forever

But all the highs and the lows
and the to's and the fro's
They left me dizzy,
Oh won't you please forgive me

But no longer hear the music
Oh no no no no no

I no longer hear the music when the lights go out
Love goes cold in the shades of doubt
The strange fate in my mind it's all too clear

Music when the lights come on
The girl I thought I knew has gone
With her my heart had disappeared

But no longer hear the music
Oh no no no no no
And no longer hear the music

Listening To: Libertines...

Fuckin' IBS has fucked me up so much more than I thought possible. I've had to completely change myself around. Against my will, I've been turned into a straight-edge vegetarian, and I fucking hate it.

No alcohol, no smoking of any kind, no caffeine, no carbonated beverages, no chocolate, nothing that's a stimulant, no dairy, no coffee, and NO MEAT! It's like I had to make a list of all my favorite things, for the specific purpose of being told that I wasn't alowed to partake in them anymore.

Fun side effects include: constipation, diarhea, stabbing pain, gas, and bloating. The gas being the really fun one. IBS sufferers call it leaky gas, because you're just so full and bloated with gas all the time that you're constantly leaking and farting without realising it. I fucking hate this shit.

The advantage, I guess, is that from eating healthier, I actually feel kinda healthy, which is something that I don't think I've really known for quite a while. Now if I could get some happieness in there, that would be great, but I'm not gonna hold my breath.

Finally got out of verdump, now livin' with Louis, 2 blocks away from the big O! We've got a cat, Bucky, and he is fat and fuzzy and cute as hell. So at least I've got most of the stress out of my life for now and can start trying to piece myself together again.

The fuckin' food crap is driving me insane though. I've got my birthday and christmas coming up, and now I can't eat any of the food that I've been looking forward to. No steak or anything like that for my birthday, no getting drunk, hell not even a glass of wine. Can't have a cake, either, unless it's not made with any dairy or too much sugar, and at that I can't have anything with chocolate, either, so really what's the point of getting any?

What kind of belgian can't eat chocolate, fries with mayo, or drink beer?

And to just go and add to my list of things that are depressing the fuck out of me, it's now 5 years straight that I've been single and not had anyone around for the holidays and my birthday. The holidays are the time your suposed to be with loved ones, and watching all the happy people does nothing but remind me of how lonely I am.

Every once in a while, I can't help but think that maybe I died in that hospital bed when I was 13, and that my beliefs really are wrong, and the all my life since then has just been me in my own custom-tailored hell, designed to torment me and make me hurt, physicaly and emotionaly, for the rest of the time that I will percieve.

pourkoi la vie est-elle si injuste, pourkoi ma tete est si fucker? des questions et des reponses ont en a toujours. mais esce le bonnes questions ou les bonnes reponse? qui peut savoir ce ki est bon ou mal? les questions sur la vie, il en a des milliers, mais les reponses on les cherches pendant leternite. la vie est courte alors il faut la vivre comme on a envie de la vivre.mais ce nest pas si facile que lon ne croit. qui sait exactement ce ki les rendent heureux et ce ki les rendent triste? ki peut predire ce ki va se passer et ce ki ne se passera pas...nous voulons tous des choses particuliere mais la pluspart de nous ne les auras pas. que somme nous dans cette univers de fou? nous sommes des pions ki samuse a se detruire et a se mentir. a koi sert les menssonge si sa nest ka nous faire mal et a nous faire croire des choses qui nest pas vrai?.....

nous fesons tous des choses qui ne faut pas alors il faut laisser tout lemonde vivre leur vie de la facons quils trouvent de la vivre

today poetry infuriates me.
lions won't sleep by lullabies,
night is for the hunt.

today the world is dully rotating.
more orphans to AIDS,
and thirty thousand children die because humanity is dreaming.

wake up.

today is not a story to create,
and futility fuels academic debate.
survival and wasted time.

Listening To: anthony rother-- super space model

Forgeting, I am released from a pain I was sure would endure… sometimes hoped it would… a reassuring reminder of my faith. In this line of reasoning martyrs are cowards, they are dependant on the constant validation of their belief which they achieve through self-mutilation; unnecessary violence. I let go. There are so many voices in my head; one for the moon, one for the muse, one for the boy living in a shoe… and all of You, and I have peace. Could it be, with a hundred voices all whispering the same truth; each with their own soothing voice and each with their own subtle metaphor, that a sacred vocal rhythm is produced (Kundalini?), and delivers us? I am found where all the sounds connect and I marvel at the geometry of life, it’s kaleidoscopic symmetry. Silly spirituality keeps me ranting into daybreak. Sometimes I disbelieve... that writing is also martyrdom; self-glorified, inconsequential, counter-productive gibberish. And in my most awesome moments of denial I pretend that writing is a mortal sin; any hand and head believing it can write the beauty of this world, capture it systematically with dry, motionless script, is a liar and a thief of creation… a karmic energy capitalist. And at other times I realize that this is simply what I do… When I step back I see that every place is chosen, even when fleeting and arbitrary; perhaps in one instant the clouds are chosen by their silvery reflection on the still and quiet surface of a forgotten part of the ocean at dawn, and perhaps in the next instant the softly undulating silver sea is chosen by the wind, hisses and destroys the clarity of it’s cumulous tableau, clouds now chosen by the invisible heaviness of humidity, the damp and the loneliness, but all in it’s place and chosen, everything chosen by Another every instant. When I step back I can embrace this cheap-pseudo-fiction-autobiographical-polymetagraphical-wholy-book. When I believe there are no more questions, just ideas. Questions are closed, regardless of whether they are open ended when asked (which ultimately still translates into an answer coming somewhere from all the potential communicatory possibilities of a human actor), because a question requires an answer it presupposes there is one; the suggestion is creation, all is one, the question is the answer. And if all questions are answers then they’ve all been asked and answered. I am writing, I am trying to find the place where I am chosen, to someday capture that instant and bear my authenticity- finally a gift fit for Gaia- I won’t scribble a survey of statistical knowledge, I will banish knowledge forever from my page. Denied the rich absurdity of my magical kingdom, knowledge will forever be in search of me (for dreams, motivations…) Knowledge will forever find me and wither by my sensitivity, (it's inorganity renders it horribly immutable, the slightest breath of space and time can turn stone to dust, although knowledge can be painted...), this predictable outcome ensures that knowledge and I will always meet again (symbiosis); and always a tension to create (metamorphosis), and a challenge for sovereignty (hypnosis), and my conquering idiocy (genesis).

Listening To: Dylan

Imagine prisoners who have been chained since childhood deep inside a cave. Not only are their limbs immobilized by the chains; their heads are chained as well so that their gaze is fixed on a wall.

Behind the prisoners is an enormous fire, and between the fire and the prisoners is a raised walkway, along which shapes of various animals, plants, and other things are carried. The shapes cast shadows on the wall, which occupy the prisoners' attention. When one of the shape-carriers speaks, an echo against the wall causes the prisoners to believe that the words come from the shadows.

The prisoners engage in what appears to us to be a game - naming the shapes as they come by. This, however, is the only reality that they know, even though they are seeing merely shadows of images. They are thus conditioned to judge the quality of one another by their skill in quickly naming the shapes and dislike those who begin to play poorly.

Suppose a prisoner is released and compelled to stand up and turn around.

His eyes will be blinded by the firelight, and the shapes passing will appear less real than their shadows.

Similarly, if he is dragged up out of the cave into the sunlight, his eyes will be so blinded that he will not be able to see anything. At first, he will be able to see darker shapes such as shadows and, only later, brighter and brighter objects.

The last object he would be able to see is the sun, which, in time, he would learn to see as that object which provides the seasons and the courses of the year, presides over all things in the visible region, and is in some way the cause of all these things that he has seen.

Once enlightened, so to speak, the freed prisoner would want to return to the cave to free "his fellow bondsmen". Another problem lies in the other prisoners not wanting to be freed: descending back into the cave would require that the freed prisoner's eyes adjust again, and for a time, he would be one of the ones identifying shapes on the wall. His eyes would be swamped by the darkness, and would take time to become acclimatized. Therefore, he would not be able to identify shapes on the wall as well as the other prisoners, making it seem as if him being taken to the surface completely ruined his eyesight. The other prisoners would then not go to the surface, in fear of losing their eyesight. If someone were to try and force a prisoner to come to the surface, the prisoner would become murderous, and kill whoever tried to force him to come to the surface.

I read this allegory over a year ago for college and I feel like only now, after thinking about it in depth, as me, I finally understand.
The people chained in the cave is society. We are only able to see non-representational symbols (shadows) and most people tend to see this as reality. Light represents truth, and sometimes that truth can be overwhelming and burn your eyes... like staring into the fire will allow you to see the objects casting shadows... it's like... you have to make askew all that you know, and see complete darkness before you can finally understand. The sun is ultimate truth... and the people are afraid of it because of its intensity. Once you get out of the cave, you can choose to go back and help the others, but if they believe what they live is real, then there is no helping them. Every individual has to believe that the sun is out there... while we are chained in darkness.
I want to absorb the sun! LET'S DO IT

Listening To: Constant Struggle by Mystic Roots

Wow, I haven't written anything here for a while now. To be honest, I wasn't really motivated to talk about the rave scene lately. Few good parties have been happening, and quite honestly, I haven't really had fun at a rave since Time Machine. It doesn't mean that the parties sucked, it means I wasn't in the mood. This is why I want to write about something that happens to every raver; getting jaded.

It's totally normal, when you do something a lot, you get jaded of it. However, when that something is the single most important thing in your life, (the case with most ravers) it can be quite devastating. The first thing every raver has to realise is that him or her not having as much fun as before is no one's fault. Yes, the scene changes, that doesn't mean it sucks because you don't enjoy it anymore. Ravers who are getting into the scene today are having just as much fun as we all used to at our first rave. The fact that they don't go as crazy as we used to doesn't mean they're not having as much fun.

What not to do when you get jaded? First, let others have fun, don't go dissing the kids who are still enjoying the parties. Also, don't share your frustration on message boards. People don't want to hear about your personal frustrations with the scene. Let others have fun. On the other hand, what you should do is find another way to have fun. The obvious thing would be to take a break from raving. Come back when you feel like it again. You can also find new ways of having fun at parties. Becoming a dj or throwing a party can be a good way to rediscover the scene. Just take the time to do it right, becoming a dj or promoter represents a lot of hard work.

Lastly, many jaded ravers stay in the scene because they don't have any friends who don't rave. There's no magical formula there. You might wanna go back to school or find a job you really like, hopefully you'll meet new friends there.

In the end, the only person who can say if you should continue raving or not is you. Don't force yourself to rave if you don't enjoy it anymore. On the other hand, it's ok to continue going, even if you don't stay as late and you don't dance as long as you used to.

Listening To: E.N.D. - Couche Tard